Fed up of mils rules in show home it's ridiculous

[ShowHouse]

I'm absolutely fed up of going to mils and feeling totally constrained by the atmosphere and feelings in the house. I think it's crossing a line where I don't want to visit anymore.

Examples she stands over us to watch us taking our shoes off and I feel she's enjoying it like a control thing.
We can't freely say go into the snug or wander around we are directed by fil to a table.
Then we have a fan fare of tea and her cake where she comments on crumbs and how we mustn't damage her stuff.
Every move feels watched, dh could never go into the fridge for instance or make tea our visits our "managed".
I feel completely at home at my dp and don't feel any constraints at all, I would walk in and make dm tea etc.

She's also complained about dd jumping off a sofa and other dc and I just think why bother.

@JandamiHash thank you 🙄.
My dc are in and out of plenty of houses and are absolutely fine. It's only mils we run into issue.

You wouldn't say that though, you'd say 'do you mind if I make myself some tea. Would you like some too?' and then mum/whoever would say, 'I'll do that for you'. Or they might say 'yes of course, just help yourself to whatever you want. The cups are here etc. etc.'
Which is what I do with visitors but I totally respect that other people have different ways of doing things and as others have said, their house, their rules.

FFS OP that’s not a good enough reason. Nor is it your decision to make about someone else’s furniture

Excuse the child. Control the child. Move on.

You wear your shoes inside your house?? Wtf!?!
Also your kids jump on furniture..

Well, whatever makes you happy I guess.

Look your kids shouldn't be jumping off people's sofas. It's not on. And you know it. That's why you snuck it in at the end of your op there.

Is this just a ‘I hate my MIL’ thread?

Let your husband and child visit without you if it’s so intolerable.

Yes and it’s up to you to anticipate and prevent it. Knowing it’s an issue yiu get a strategy so it doesn’t happen

You’ve never come across a shoes on house before?

We keep shoes on (or rather we don’t have to take them off). We aren’t pigs, we wipe our feet coming in

I can never understand "shoes on" households, think of all the dirt you're bringing in all over your floors

That’s why robo cleaners were invented.

@Iloveyoubut no she's not.
If she was this would be easier to tolerate.

Poor fil seems to want to be a fun dgf...
Is their home where dh lived as a dc? My adult dc come home. They open fridge /help themselves... What's mine is absolutely theirs.. Snack /drink /borrow a loo roll kind of thing is more than acceptable.. Bet you dare not use mil's loo?!

My child and grandchildren have never done that and always ask. Nobody would just go and make themselves a cup of tea either they'd make one for everyone.

They are unsuitable for our floors. So shoes off. No harm done.

I don’t believe it. What have you got? Rushes?

This, I'd not allow a kid to jump off somebody else's sofa that's really rude. Just go be "managed" drink tea and leave OR invite them to you. I never wandered around my Mil house unless it was to the toilet.

Maybe she puts these rules in place because of your behaviour in her home. I wouldn’t be happy with children jumping of my furniture.

I always give my DFIL a cup of tea sitting at the table as when he sits on the sofa he tips the mug and spills tea on my carpet. I don’t do that with anyone else.

I think you really need to do some book reading about OCD
and ease up on pejorative terms like total control freak
you're making yourself look very stupid

Well I have in hotels and inside campsites I guess.

I can’t imagine wearing shoes outside and then thinking it was fine for everyone to just come inside and walk around the flooring and carpets in the same shoes!
Just seems dirty and slobbish to me.

I dont understand how you think its clean though

We walked to the shops today, theres only pavement on one side and it was scattered with bits of mud and stone that had come off a big garden/green space, no avoiding it

I wiped my feet a lot on the mat, both outdoor mat and indoor, but once I'd taken them off there was still a lot of mud in the grooves of the shoe, along with a number of small stones that get stuck in the tread

Other trainers I have, also have bits of dirt, mud, stones in the treads

Wiping just doesnt compensate for taking them off

My OH insists on putting his shoes on and off in the living room because he has to sit down, drives me mad because then he's treading all over the rug.

Do the kids normally jump on other people's sofas? I don't think anyone would be pleased with that

None of your business tbh.

She's also complained about dd jumping off a sofa I am not surprised. So would I. Other people’s furniture is not an adventure playground

Marble or floorboards possibly