Would you have your kids again?

[Flowers665]

I don't have any and I don't know if I want any. I like having my nephew or neice for the day but I am EXHAUSTED by the end of the day and happy to hand them back. I can find it hard to fill the time with them. Also always really look forward to going back to having time to myself. I don't know if people will be honest but if you could go back would you have kids? I love being able to be selfish, spend all my time and money on myself.

I’d have had one rather than two. And I wouldn’t have bothered with normal school/work life. I’d have visited loads more of the world and done exploring

Yes, they are the best thing I’ve done in my life.

Yes. It is hard, but they are brilliant humans. If I ever start to ruminate on other regrets, I remind myself that had I done things differently, they wouldn’t be here.

I would but I wish that me and my partner could do the things we used to do before kids, pub, weekend away, anything. I really miss it

Okay?

I would absolutely have my son again, it's more amazing than I could ever have imagined, it sounds cliché but I never knew it was possible to love something so much until I had him, he's my favourite person.

I grew up with my mum being a social worker and there are plenty of parents that don't feel that way about there children unfortunately.

I'm sorry, that sounds very difficult

Definitely.......with a decent partner I'd have had a fourth!

I dont have any never wanted them.

People make different choices. Don't try and justify yours by having people say they regret theirs.

I would. It is hard and all of those things. There's so many wonderful moments. But it is very full on.

In all honesty I genuinely don't know. I love my kids but parenting is so relentless and I know I'm not the best mum in the world as I totally lack patience a lot of the time.
My journey to motherhood wasn't the easiest and I had to have IVF. During that period I couldn't imagine my life without children and desperately grieved my repeated failure to conceive but now I have children if I'd have known then what I know now I don't think I'd have grieved quite so hard. Trouble is grass can often seem greener on the other side when the reality is it's the same grass just from a different angle.

Your posts sound exactly like me before I had my daughter. She's 2 now and while sometimes it's a bit boring and sometimes I can't wait for bedtime, she is absolutely the best thing I've ever done in my life. I've honestly never been happier. It's very different to babysitting for a day somehow, because you build up to it from newborn and it just becomes your life.

I found it so hard when they were little and I had bad PND which was horrendous but I would still choose them over and over again, fantastic, marvellous , maddening little people that they are.

The same kids? Or different ones? Just joking but yes I would do it again. Spent a long time not wanting any and even panicking while pregnant despite by then having gone through miscarriages and infertility. I had mine super late but wouldn’t change that either apart from those years of fear it wouldn’t happen.
It is totally different when they’re your own. You summon reserves you didn’t know you had. I’m an introvert who could do without anyone but that’s part of the joy - children take you out of your comfort zone and make your heart grow bigger.
The early years are an endurance challenge but it gets easier. Now mine are teens and that has its own challenges but they are their own people and I’m so proud I helped create these unique characters.

The vast majority of people will say yes, because the vast majority of people stick by a decision they've made (look up choice-supportive bias).

My view is, if it's not a "hell yes" it's a no.

I don't have kids because I couldn't give up that much for so much hassle in return. I see it daily on here, people's relationships with their partners ruined, partners not stepping up the way they should, alcohol problems, tired of their kids, blaming everything from rural living to their in-laws when the kids are the cause of it all.

There's a reason the most famous mumsnet quote is "this too shall pass" - and it passes just into another awful stage. All these people wishing their lives away.

100 times yes and I would have liked to have more than one, but I would make a better choice of father/partner if I was doing it again.

100% yes. But it's a totally different life, so it depends what you want. Both choices can be good or bad.

I will say having done a TONNE of childcare before having my own that it is totally different with your own and the actual looking after them is easier... although there's no break so guess the relentlessness is harder... but 1 day with my own is easier than 1 day with other people's 😅

@Bestwishes23 Nope you are not the the only odd one- I wouldn't have a child or get married if I can do it all over again. Nothing to do with my daughter she is lovely and I lover her however I don't enjoy motherhood. I feel its whitewashed too much and anyone speaking out is immediately vilified by the society- great construct to keep procreation going (else we all die out) but I think we need to understand its not for everyone.

Yes, but it's different when it's your own. Other people's kids get boring quite quickly. Being a parent is definitely better than I thought it would be, I never thought I could ever love someone that much!

Yes without hesitation and I had 3 under 3. But I was able to give up work for a few years to be at home and I have a great husband who shared the load fairly.

Absolutely, honestly they may be hard work but they are very much worth it.

Yes absolutely. I’d have had another one too. They’re adults now but they’ve been the joy of our lives. It’s different with your own than looking after other people’s.

Yes. Nothing in my life comes close. Literally my pride and joy. Mainly my joy.

Yes but I cannot help but wish it was under other circumstances. With a different man for starters.