Would you have your kids again?

[Flowers665]

I don't have any and I don't know if I want any. I like having my nephew or neice for the day but I am EXHAUSTED by the end of the day and happy to hand them back. I can find it hard to fill the time with them. Also always really look forward to going back to having time to myself. I don't know if people will be honest but if you could go back would you have kids? I love being able to be selfish, spend all my time and money on myself.

No. All mine have/had SEN. My youngest will never leave home.

If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have had any.

What do you want people to say? Are you wanting to say that being child free is better than having kids?

Yes, yes and a thousand times yes. I would change many things about my life but never them.

Yes.

Had mine at 24/28, would say I would have had the 2nd one earlier if I had my time.

It's all individual, but cannot even imagine having babies/toddlers now at 43!!

I want to know people's true and honest experiences...
No I don't want people to say that being childfree is better.

Yes I would. But only if it were definitely with the DH I have now!
I have an equal partner, loving relationship and he's a fantastic dad.
I love my kids and they are great kids (got lucky there). But I am an introvert, need time to myself and I don't do well on broken sleep (my second is 2 and still sleeps crap most nights...I'm exhausted). DH is making sure I sleep in and get the time to myself that I need in these early exhausting years of sleepless nights and breastfeeding.

I would, I loved the relentless years. The teen years are full of worries but I also feel incredibly lucky to have this wonderful person in my life.

Absolutely I would, my child is my world. I am
however careful to implement a good early bedtime so we get an evening to relax and use some annual leave whilst they are at nursery.

Nope, it ruined my physical and mental health for years. PND when the penny dropped what I had done to myself. Ruined my job options ( 35+ years ago, very little childcare, not affordable or readily available.) Any chance of travel evaporated. Poverty beckoned instead.
I had no idea what I was letting myself in for. I was too young, far too naive, and had some sort of view it would be 'Darling Buds of May' rather than a constant shitshow of drama for 35+ years.

I 'love' my kids and do/ say the right things, but they don't give me the 'joy' others talk about. Ironically, we are close, but in an adult, more detached way. I really couldn't be one of those 'in each other's pockets' family. it would drive me insane. 2 of my kids had the sense not to have kids. 3rd..well, let's say, he learnt the hard way.
Although it has been suggested in later years ( I'm nearly 60) that I could be ND like DS.

Yes I'm an introvert, love time to myself and am awful with broken or little sleep.

Yep.
It's so different to nephews and nieces as well, I've never felt out of my depth with mine like I did when I had my nephew and niece to stay for weekends. Those days felt endless trying to follow someone else's routine but they fly by with my own.

I have a Ds in his 30s and two teen DDs. One DD has DS.
If I were given the chance to go back in time, I'd say no—just because I would miss my kids too much! I've been a Mum since I was 18 and can't imagine life without my children.

I have to add, I don't like being around other people's children. I find them overbearing.

Absolutely. Although with hindsight, later.

I was 21 with dc1, 23 with dc2, 30 with dc3. We were in SUCH a better position with dc3, career, money, house, time wise. It was all so much easier.

Interesting how so many on the thread say they wish they'd been younger or older. The grass is always greener I suppose!

No too many opportunities missed

Your OP came across like that to me,

No I wouldn’t. I love them, but no.

Yes. I had mine at 22,26 and 33. I'd have loved a smaller gap between miscarriages put a stop to it. That said, they're 14,10 and 3 now and I love it.

I didn't want kids and hated the baby stage.

DD is my favourite person and I wouldn't give her back for a billion pounds.

God I definitely wouldn't look after other people's kids, even for a day, so you're doing well there.

But I love my own! 100% would have them again. I have a lovely balance of work, kids, friends, life. I can't imagine how solitary a childless life would be. My kids make me laugh every day.

My DH often takes the kids so I can lie in, get a massage etc - I still feel like I get to be lazy. But I have a good partner, not sure id want to have kids with a man who didn't pull his weight.

I only have one - a son, now 11.

I would absolutely have him again - he is my absolutely world and I love him beyond words.

The first two years were quite hard as he wasn't an easy baby but it passed and he became a very chilled, clever, hilarious boy.

I genuinely wouldn't want my life without him.

100%
And my 2 are totally different ages - 6 year old and a teenager - so I’ve already dealt with many different stages, and wouldn’t change them for the world.
No matter what other shit life throws at me (and it does!), my kids are the constant that make it all worth it, and I can’t ever imagine them not being here.

Yes, without a shade of doubt.

I mean, yes it's relentless in the early days but that only lasts a few years, and then they start being a lot of fun to hang around. And then you reap the benefits of those early years for a lifetime.

I remember once going home after work and thinking wistfully that if I didn't have kids I'd be able to take a long relaxing bath. Then I realized that actually I wouldn't be enjoying that as I'd be fretting about whether I would ever get to have kids.

I have travelled, seen the world, speak several languages, etc. I think if I didn't have the kids to keep me going I'd be wondering what more there is to life - especially now I'm late thirties.

I have lots of hobbies that I don't have time for right now - like video games - but I'm looking forward to sharing those hobbies with the kids in a few years. Going fishing with them, visiting GPs at Christmas, visiting Prague with them... So many things I want to do with them that would just be a bit meh on my own !

My three grown up kids are my favourite people in the world.

Again and again and again. There is no life that I can imagine that isn't made better with my children in it.