DP hasn’t invited me

[Bigredchair]

so I know this is silly and I just want some perspective if I am being unreasonable so do tell me if I am so I can get over it and not cause an issue over it.

So DP and I met 5 years ago working at the same company, I worked there for 5 years, he has worked there about 15 years, I left 2 years ago, he still works there.

one of our former colleagues has just retired, DP is his boss and I worked with him often and we still see him occasionally outside of work.

now DP has organised a big retirement do for this colleague, he has invited all sorts of people who we used to work with, current colleagues, ex colleagues, clients etc, arranged a quiz and done a speech, food money behind the bar etc, alls sounds great. However my issue is that DP has not invited me!

we have a blended family and he has his kids this night and he has just gone and arranged this do on this night he has his kids, not invited me and just assumes I’ll be home watching the kids.

now I have no issue with having them but I just feel like he has invited everyone our colleague used to work with and not me even though I know this colleague well and worked with him myself and maybe it would have been nice if he had considered me and said to me I know you would have liked to have come but it’s the only date that works so would you mind having the kids for me as I really need to be there instead of just assuming I’ll be at home minding the kids. I still speak to other ex colleagues from the same company who have been texting me asking if I’m coming and I feel quite hurt that I wasn’t even invited.

AIBU to be a bit miffed by this?

If the DP asked the teens last night and they said yes, the OP might be at the party right now but if he didn't ask them or they weren't available, she's probably at home looking after his children rather than being at a party with her ex colleagues.

The 'problem' is bigger than whether she attends or not, it's the assumption that she will take care of HIS children at short notice while he goes out to a party that he planned on the weekend he was having his children. He's also going to be having a 'big night out' after the party but hasn't arranged child care. It seems to me as though the problem is the DP's lack of consideration and respect for the OP.

You said the older kids should look after the younger two "no arranging anything". Isn't asking making arrangements? From your post it sounded like you thought she should dump his kids with her teenagers just like he thought he could dump his kids with her without asking if she minded.

They're his children, he should be the one to sort out childcare. Being taken for granted is not funny and if women are divorcing because they won't tolerate being treated like the nanny, then good for them.

You think the person who hasn't read the thread is the person with common sense? Have you read the thread?

Partner has spent weeks arranging a leaving party for someone the OP also used to work with.
He has invited other people who have since left the company.
He arranged it for a weekend when he has his children.
He has rearranged things with his ex in the past so they can both have some flexibility but chose not to this time.
Until a couple of days ago OP thought she was going to the party too.
When she asked about this her partner said she wouldn't be able to go because he had his children this weekend.
At no point has she been asked if she is free or minds looking after his children.
She has been excluded from the party based on the assumption she will his babysitter.
He's going out for a piss up after the party.

There is nothing over the top about telling him she won't do it because she doesn't like the way he's handled it.

I'd tell him to change the nights he had kids for once. What would he do if you had something contagious?

Your post is so long I didn't read it sorry. I think you are a bit too invested in this and overthinking it, honestly calm down, you'll give yourself high blood pressure, you're outraged on behalf of the OP and lashing the partner or husband or whatever he is, and where is the OP now, probably out for a drink with her husband, partner or watching a movie having forgotten all about this🤣 chances are they've resolved it xx

No engagement. Straight to a poor and transparent attempt to belittle by being patronising. Perhaps a discussion forum isn't for you.

I already engaged and then you started back again, repeating yourself and getting fired up, I pointed out she's probably well over it, how is it patronising??

Why would 15 and 16 yr olds need a sitter ?

How bout asking him to explain the thinking?

I’d just say to him , I’d like to go too , can we get a sitter ? 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Bigredchair yanbu; he is for assuming anyone other then he, will look after his kids. All on him. Stand firm.

That's too sensible, you have to have a big drama first x

He has His kids so He can't go!!

😂😂
fairycakes1234

Did you read the post?

No way would I be looking after his kids that night.

Baby sitter/child minder??

Why would op need a sitter, her kids don't need one.

It's tonight and I can bet you, she's sitting at home like the mug her dp thinks she is looking after his kids while he is away out having a great night.

Lovely opinion you have of the OP, it's like you're almost hoping that's the case instead of hoping they resolved it, lovely person you are xx

Just really telling it how it is, and tbh no I'm hoping she told him to do one and stick up for herself and not be a mug, but the silence from the op on this thread says other ways unfortunately.

But would you be happy if they made up and went our and had a great night or would it piss you off that they resolved it...marriages are full of ups and downs, 28 years married and this wouldn't even phase me, we've been through so much more than something like that and thankfully still happy (for the most part😊)

They aren't married it's her dp, would be great if they resolved it and are out having a great night, it wouldn't phase you if your dp assumed you where going to be his babysitter while he was out at a do you would like to attend, sorry but that would piss me off tbh, at least he could of had the decency to ask op would she mind, it's the oh you can't go I have the kids that night that was a dealer breaker for a lot on this thread, ops kids are old enough to look after themselves, so doesn't need to be stuck at home babysitting.

Fair enough, nowhere did I say he wasn't an idiot but lots of men are idiots sometimes, doesn't make them a bad partner/husband I hope they resolved it anyway

Well, can't your 15 and 16 year old babysit the younger two and you go along?