Boyfriend has gotten ex girlfriend pregnant and wants me to keep things quiet about our relationship

[Chanjh25]

I’m posting this here to be told straight basically as I don’t really have any family and friends that know what’s going on in my life so please just tell me how it is Hi girls I really need some advice because I feel honestly crazy here
So me and my boyfriend have been together almost 3 years we split up a few months back for 2-3 months but was in contact with eachother throughout and had slept together a few times still..
To then for us to decide to sort things out properly things was good for a few days until I found out he had slept with his ex.. didn’t mention anything to me but when I found out said he was ‘honestly going to tell me’ was acting off anyway before I found out accusing me of not being trust worthy and that I’m acting ‘shifty’ turned out to just be him.. to then a couple of weeks later he wants to tell me something SHES PREGNANT… she still loves him and is infatuated with him and I’ve told him he’s just relit an old flame in her and she just won’t leave him alone she’s become abusive to me too.. now I was willing to forgive him and try to get over everything that’s happened (the self esteem is clearly next level for me isn’t it😑)
So again we tried again but he’s telling her we aren’t together and wants me to stay quiet about us as he has kids with her and she’ll ‘ruin his life’ so I found out yday he’s been telling her we aren’t together so obvs I’ve hit the roof and now ‘I’m done your crazy’ bla bla bla AM I BEING MANIPULATED cuz I also feel like I’m the bad person right now 😭😭😭 he’s saying that the reason why he doesn’t want her to know just yet is because of the stuff she says and causes but also so that we can have time to ‘bond’ again just any advice 😭

I would leave, it all sounds too messy / complicated , I would also be very embarrassed that a boyfriend was having a child with another woman

If you're in your 40s? Can't remember what it said on the other thread...you're old enough to give up on this kind of nonsense. Seriously. Life is short and you're wasting it on this dross. Doesn't that depress you??

Honestly, having no one is better than this crap.

You always have yourself, and you should invest yourself and your efforts into focusing on making your own life better.

That's not me I've also posted my OP on a Facebook group page which has screenshots if you would like a link to that so I can assure you this isn't a troll post and is unfortunately my life

Because she's not a psycho. She's just another woman being played by him. It suits him for you to think she is a psycho. I bet if you spoke to her though you would hear a completely different story. Look at it properly. His words do not match his actions. He loves you, yet he slept with her repeatedly. She's a psycho, yet he slept with her repeatedly. He hates her, yet he slept with her repeatedly. His words are lies. You are an idiot to believe him. The reason he doesn't want her to know about your "relationship" is because he has told her the same lies. That you're crazy, that he hates you, that he loves her.

Please run!

He is playing you both and it's messy now but there is a baby involved. He will forever hurt you x

Ah well apologies for jumping the gun on that @Chanjh25 I just read that other thread and didn't check username etc.

Ok so giving the benefit of the doubt that this is real and you're genuine, everything I said in my previous comment is still my advice to you.

I don't know how old you are but I can tell you that the years between 25 and 50 are gone in the blink of an eye. Seriously you will waste your life on this idiot.

Sounds like both yourself and his ex are better off without! I’d tell him where to go and never look back!

my biological father did kinda similar.

had a baby with wife, split with wife and met my mum, they were expecting me, my mum and him had a fall out and he went and slept with his ex wife and she got pregnant. Two babies due in the space of a few weeks!! Both my mother and his ex wife realised their worth and become friends down the line (I’m not suggesting you do this as no kids involved for you!)

I'm seeing a few comments saying this is a troll post and I've posted this apparently somewhere else I can assure you I haven't posted this anywhere else other then on Facebook which has screenshots of mine and his conversation.. unfortunately this is infact my life and the situation I've somehow ended up in, if there's another post then I'm sorry to another person who's also going though this honestly wouldn't expect someone else to be dealing with this shit, but thanks of making me aware of another post.. if anyone wants proof that this isn't a troll post them please reply to this comment and I'll send you the link to my fb post, thankyou so much for all the comments and thanks for telling me straight it's exactly what I needed! I felt so much guilt for trying to leave but I am feeling a lot better after reading these comments.. I am still young I'm 31 (look no older then 23/24 apparently) so I'm still young.. I just realised I can post photos here so you can see this is real anyway as I was saying I'm still young I do need therapy I know this and I need to stop allowing this go on in my life he's blocked on everything I just want to better myself and have the best summer ❤️

So in the best interests of all, especially his kids, he needs to get out of your life and commit to his existing family. No alternative

Are you pretending or do you really not know this is a mess you should get out of? If it's true then get yourself some therapy as to why you've settled with this crap for so long and were willing to stay with him when he couldn't not have sex with his ex when you were on a break.

You don't love him. You love the idea of the relationship you might have had if he were a better person. But he's not a good person. He's a pathetic, lying, cheating asshole who emotionally abuses you (the silent treatment) and got another woman pregnant. What a prince!

It's time to love and value yourself, OP. No man is worth debasing yourself just so you can say you're in a relationship. Dump the dick and take care of YOU.

Also why on earth would you post screenshots on Facebook? Do people honestly do that??

31 is old enough to let crap like this go.

You're all hung up on his words when his actions have shown you just who he is.

He lies. He cheats. He has unprotected sex with the woman he's back together with and he's going to raise another child with her. You are the dirty secret he bangs behind her back.

Do you have children watching you model this?

That's the point though when we split and I slept with him a few times he didn't tell me he slept with her ! Because obvs he wanted to be selfish because he knew if he told me he fet told to fuck off but he didn't he was selfish and chose to keep it quiet and not tell me and still continue to sleep with me I've not slept with him since the 1st of December and I'm glad cuz I don't trust anything he says anymore

She seen me the other day started threatening to hit me so I told her to do it then she walks off shouting shit at me about him then gets on phone to him and tells him I'm starting shit and I know she's gunna be the damsel in distress and act innocent to make it look like it's me when it's not I've text her once and I've but my tongue with her for the rest

He said he did tell her but then she told me that he was agreeing to night feeds the day after he found out she was pregnant which he kept from me for another 2 days.. after I found out he had slept with her he promised it be honest with me 😂 finds out she's pregnant and doesn't tel me for 2 days but knew it was a matter of time before she told me to be spiteful cow they both deserve eachother he's blocked on everything now

This made me laugh because I'm exactly this blunt 😂 not happening though

we split the main one was because I felt invisible to him he'd give me the silent treatment constantly for no reason, barely spoke to me touched me or was engaging

Jesus woman! Run far and fast via a sexual health check-up and to a therapist to find out why you put up with such poor treatment from a man.

I know this is what I don't get everyone knows about our relationship everyone knew about it since we first got together so why so secretive now?? That's the part I don't have an answer too so I just sit and overthink because he's not man enough to tell me the truth

You don't want this. Pull the plaster off and move on with your life.

I am thrilled that our genetic pool is soon going to be added to by the procreation of such wonderful parents.

Fabulous.

Has he been seeing his children without you present since they originally split up? If he has, then you are, and have always been, the other woman, irrespective of whether it was "public" and she knew about you. He's been sleeping with her all this time but has run out of luck and she has got pregnant, either accidently or deliberately.

Please, you deserve better than this, leave the two of them to it, they have children together and are going to have another. You will ALWAYS be the other woman, public or secret! You deserve a man of your own, who isn't going to treat you like a dirty little secret to make HIS life easier! You deserve the whole plate, not scraps!

But then claims to be this loyal person in the beginning trusted him eachother with everything phones left about open discussions etc and then just ruins it all and then gaslights me what is it in men tbag is lacking common decency to do the right thing.. if he wanted to keep me he wouldn't of slept with her I think that's the answer to it all really

Seconded.

Are you being manipulated? Sorry you are.

And so is she.
He wants to have his cake and eat it: family set up with her and you secretly on the side.
For the sake of your sanity and self-respect, dump him.