To ignore the letter and go anyway? Toddler day case procedure

[lolo9]

My toddler is due to have a small procedure done tomorrow. Only a day case but first time under GA and I'm terrified.

The letter says 2 adults only. No siblings due to lack of space. I have a 1 month old baby who's currently breastfed. Don't have any childcare anyway but if I did I couldn't leave him as he won't take a bottle..

The plan was just to send DH with toddler, but the closer it's getting to it the more anxious I am. DH is brilliant but I can't shake the feeling my toddler needs their mum after something like that. I'd go on my own with newborn but I think it'd be too much to handle, having to hold toddler whilst put under with a newborn in tow.

Would it be completely ignorant of me to show up with my newborn and DH? Baby in a carrier maybe? No pram to save space? Would they just send me away do you think? I probably should just listen to the letter and send toddler with DH. I'm just worried and being at home will drive me up the wall not knowing how it's going 😭

DS will be fine with his Dad. Life is stressful enough for hospital staff. Stay at home.

If you're 'anxious' to 'terrified', you're going to transit all those feelings to your toddler, which won't help them at all!

You want to be there for you, not for them. It's self-indulgent.

It also disrespects/devalues DH's ability to be the supporting parent on hand, and it's risky for your newborn to take them into a setting full of pathogens unnecessarily.

If you're generally anxious, or more anxious than usual right now, it might be worth consulting your GP for some support.

This is what I would do.

I think they have asked for no siblings for a reason, it’s likely not going to be a great environment for a newborn who may feel unsettled and upset. Which will then have the knock on impact of distracting the other patients and the staff.

I had the same issue when going to great ormond street. We had to take the baby with us. They were fine. It just meant that only one parent could go down to theatre while they went to sleep. As siblings are not allowed there

I agree with this.

I’d both go with your newborn.

When it says no siblings, it won’t mean a babe in arms. I’m sure that’ll be allowable.

If they really won’t allow it, at least you’ll both be on hand at the hospital and can take it in turns to be in a reception area/cafe with the baby.

Hope all goes well. They pick up on parents’ anxiety, so try to make it a normal bright and breezy day for your toddler: lots of kids have this, it won’t take long and then they’ll get a treat etc.

Everyone is different so I would ring up the ward and come up with a plan as what will work best for your toddler. Yes I would be concerned taking a new born into a hospital with all the bugs going around, but baby will have immunity from your milk. What ever works best for your family, hope it all goes well x

Ah, yes - follow the posters telling you that your four week old baby will be fine in the one place where you're most likely to come within breathing distance of children with severe cases of chickenpox, measles, RSV, influenza, scarlet fever and chest infections - or follow the ones that point out that he'll have his dad with him and you will be better off not exposing your newborn to things they aren't vaccinated against.

It's emotionally hard, yes, but you'll manage far better at home knowing the baby is safe and your DS is with Daddy than wondering whether the baby's coming down with something that could put them in hospital themselves.

Milk gives some immunity but it is not a fail safe and not an excuse to take a baby to places where there will be all sorts of bugs circulating

Also, do you have a sling for your newborn? Takes no space, more mobile and less risk of infection if snuggled next to you in a sling, rather than open to environment in a carrier.

This is just crazy. Thank God no hospitals in my area have this rule. my child needed me and i needed my husband because ds didnt want to get off me for couple of hours, which was hard in a second trimester.

But if the other members of the family are going to be in that environment all day surely they are at risk at bringing the bugs home anyway. I don't know 🤷‍♀️ best to have a chat with the nurses in the ward as to what they would like and what works best for the toddler & baby.

I think they probably want to avoid other children running around. I’d go with baby in a carrier and see what happens. But be prepared to be turned away and don’t get arsey about it.

That’s not how it works though. If OP, her husband and their toddler, with developed immune systems, have had their jabs and are exposed to a child with measles, they’ll be fine. If an unvaccinated newborn with no immune system is, they will very much not be fine.

We also have a responsibility to our other patients, some of whom may be immunocompromised, to limit non-essential visitors where we can. This is more relaxed on the ward, where patients may be in for some time and therefore there’s a psychological benefit to the patient by allowing more visitors, but on day case where they are only there for the day and can just see people at home later, there’s just no need to allow additional visitors.

All go together and you go in with toddler and then swap with DH.

I would take the baby. They won't send you away with a tiny babe in arms.

My eldest never took a bottle, with EBM or forumula, so I would've sent DH with instruction to keep me posted at every step. Or I would've waited in the hospital cafe with the baby, although taking a newborn in to a hospital for no reason wouldn't be a very sensible thing to do anyway.
Stay and home and be updated, your toddler would probably pick up on your anxiety anyway.

They will send you away

I have been in the exact same situation - we took youngest with us. You need to have a second adult in the car when taking a child home after a general anaesthetic, when it's a day case procedure ( I'm and RN and used to work in a Day Surgery unit.) and that was the only way we could do it. They still did the surgery.

That makes sense but it doesn't mean the OP and the baby have to stay there the whole time. They can drop off then collect at the end of the day.

This. Please follow this advice, and ignore the poster who states ‘baby will be protected from bugs as you’re breast feeding.’ Breast feeding babies do get ill. Your son will be absolutely fine with Dad for the day and he’ll have some peace and quiet from a screaming baby while recovering from the procedure.

Your toddler will be fine with his other parent - probably better than having you around if you’re that anxious. Your newborn may well not be fine if you take them into the germ tombola of a a paediatrics ward. Stay at home.

Surely it increases risk of infection, for both dc. Stay home with baby or alternate who stays outside with baby so you can each spend time on the recovery ward.

They will tell you to wait outside with your baby.