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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding dress. AIBU to feel a little upset?

272 replies

Brightskiesandcoffee · 29/01/2025 08:10

I was waiting for my wedding dress delivery but as it was scheduled roughly same time as my GP appointment I called my Sis who lives 10 minutes away to take my niece (3) and come chill with me and receive the delivery if I’m not in exactly that time.
She happily agreed and Sod’s Law it came exactly when I was out. I received the message and despite the fact that I’m feeling horrible due to suspected chest and ear infections it just made my day knowing it’s here.
Went home, opened the door and my parcel was on the sofa, taken out of the plastic wrapping, there was supposed to be a nice little white bow on one of the corners which was missing. Sis apologised and said that her DD wanted to see “the princess dress” so she promised her “ just a quick little peek”. When I opened the lid the little card that was supposed to be there on the top was also missing and the tissue paper was a bit crumpled and broken. Again, she explained and she’s so sorry but my niece was just so fast, grabbed the card from the top and disturbed the paper. Both the white bow and little card I found on the kitchen floor. Obviously I’m not mad at my niece but AIBU to feel upset that I feel like I lost little bit of that magic? I thought I’m gonna do maybe a little unboxing video just for myself and have that first feeling of opening your wedding dress, delicate and beautiful and now it doesn’t feel the same anymore.
The dress is not dirty or damaged but I’m just upset that I got no bow and no card but crumpled and broken tissue paper… it was completely opposite what I had in my mind for this special moment, well at least for me?

OP posts:
thinktwice36 · 29/01/2025 08:12

Couldn’t get upset about a bow - what I would be upset about is someone else opening my post!

Jiyty · 29/01/2025 08:13

Who opens someone else's parcels?? That insane.
Especially a wedding dress!!

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 29/01/2025 08:15

I’d be more upset at my sister. She knew it was your wedding dress. Who opens someone else’s parcel anyway? She should have just said no to her daughter and explained that we don’t open other peoples parcels.

DNAwrangler · 29/01/2025 08:15

Yeah she shouldn’t have opened it. Easy enough to tell a 3 year old it’s not for them.

looking forward though - is there someone who could re box / wrap it nicely for you? Your mum maybe?

ThejoyofNC · 29/01/2025 08:15

I'd be really pissed off that she opened it.

Couldn't get worked up about a bow and some tissue paper. "Unboxing" videos are stupid.

GCAcademic · 29/01/2025 08:16

Your sister is completely out of order but you won't get much sympathy on here as MNers love to hate a bride. How many posts in before you're accused of being a Bridezilla, I wonder?

olympicsrock · 29/01/2025 08:18

The unboxing video was bonkers but sister shouldn’t have opened your parcel let alone let a young child near it .

AccordionedWhileMallBurned · 29/01/2025 08:19

Clearly your sister shouldn't have let your parcel be opened (or any mail), but as she was doing you a favour, I think you should cut her some slack on this occasion. It's not the end of the world - your good relationship with your sister and having her support is what matters here, not bows on a parcel.

Fountofwisdom · 29/01/2025 08:19

Outrageous to open someone else’s parcel, regardless of what is in it, but even worse when it was something so special. Blaming the 3 year old is total BS too - your sister wanted to have a nosey, end of. Tell your sister that you’re annoyed and she is never to open anything addressed to you again. But no real harm done if the dress wasn’t damaged, so keep things in perspective. And be thankful that the 3yo didn’t have Nutella/paint/banana on her hands, which is a miracle in itself!

TheGoogleMum · 29/01/2025 08:21

I've never heard of fiming opening a wedding dress package before but I suppose I picked mine up from a store so it was different. I can see that its hard to say no to a 3 yr old wanting to see the pretty dress but they really should have waited and it's incredibly rude to open someone else's post without permission.

The card and tissue paper I think you'll just have to get over as that seems a little dramatic to worry about, it's more the principle of opening your post!

BettyBardMacDonald · 29/01/2025 08:21

I would stroke out at this. Your sister is an arsehole.

5128gap · 29/01/2025 08:21

Your wedding should contain so many special moments that the loss of a video of you opening the box won't matter in the big picture, so this will pass. You're probably feeling low from your virus and emotional in the run up and overreacting a bit. Obviously you can't open the box for the first time now, but if you want a video opening it, just stage it. Most people's wedding videos and photos contains a lot of staging anyway - the bridesmaid's laughing in PJs etc.

MikeRafone · 29/01/2025 08:22

your niece could have seen it when you the bride opened your own parcel

its wide and your sister shouldn’t have opened your parcel

it’s just not the thing to do

learn this about your sister and don’t put yourself in that type of situation again

Berthatydfil · 29/01/2025 08:24

Your sister had no right to open the parcel or promise her daughter a little peek. Who opens other peoples parcels ??

I expect she wanted a little nose in there too and may be is blaming her daughter more than she really should.

Ok there is no real harm done (luckily) but I would be reluctant to entirely trust your sister in any similar circumstances and wouldn't tell her whats in any future parcels.

BarbaraHoward · 29/01/2025 08:26

Yes you're being a bit overly precious about the packaging and unboxing etc - but who the fuck opens someone else's wedding dress! She really crossed the line.

Hope you love the dress and that you feel better soon.

NattyTurtle59 · 29/01/2025 08:26

BettyBardMacDonald · 29/01/2025 08:21

I would stroke out at this. Your sister is an arsehole.

An arsehole who did a favour for her sister by coming over to take delivery of the parcel.

Honestly, maybe she shouldn't have opened it, but what a lot of fuss and drama!! The dress wasn't damaged, that's all that matters.

Goldengirl123 · 29/01/2025 08:26

Your sister is going to have problems if she gives in to what her child wants all time. This is very disrespectful and you have every right to be upset

Springflowersmakeforbetterhours · 29/01/2025 08:27

Now you know how trustworthy your dsis is. She isn't...
Lesson learned op.

Original poster
Brightskiesandcoffee · 29/01/2025 08:32

I understand that unboxing videos and silly little bows are not to everyone and that’s ok but that’s what I wanted to do and that’s also ok. It never even crossed my mind to think that she would open the parcel, I thought that’s common sense not to do it!

OP posts:
Harassedevictee · 29/01/2025 08:32

@Brightskiesandcoffee we are all different so not everyone will understand.

I get it completely, whilst I wouldn’t do an unboxing video, your experience was spoilt. Most women have one wedding dress which is often the most expensive piece of clothing they will ever own.

Your sister took something from you, the experience of being the first person to open the packaging, that can’t be replaced or replicated. I would be upset because it was disrespectful.

Some people will dismiss it as not a big deal but for you it was and that should be respected.

Overthebow · 29/01/2025 08:35

Brightskiesandcoffee · 29/01/2025 08:32

I understand that unboxing videos and silly little bows are not to everyone and that’s ok but that’s what I wanted to do and that’s also ok. It never even crossed my mind to think that she would open the parcel, I thought that’s common sense not to do it!

I agree, I personally don’t like these things but if you do that’s completely fine. It is your wedding dress and your post and your sister shouldn’t have opened it.

millymoo1202 · 29/01/2025 08:35

Your sister is bang out of order, she knew what was in it. Who on earth does something like that

MissSookieStackhouse · 29/01/2025 08:36

Upset? I’d be bloody fuming! Who allows their child to open other people’s parcels, especially a special one? Is she usually such a spoiled brat who gets her way with everything and your sister just caves in? Why on earth didn’t your sister say no, we’ll wait until your auntie comes home and we can watch her open it.

DaisyChain505 · 29/01/2025 08:37

Yes she shouldn’t have opened the parcel but luckily the dress wasn’t damaged or got dirty.

The unboxing video is a stupid idea and you’re thinking way too much into this. The important part is that you have the dress and you will wear it on your wedding day.

honeylulu · 29/01/2025 08:39

I would be furious with someone who opened my post, unless I'd asked them to. The fact that it's your wedding dress, opening that parcel was (hopefully!) going to be a once in a lifetime experience for you and they took that away.

How bloody rude. I only showed my wedding dress to a couple of people before the day (admittedly one was my sister!). It should be entirely up to the bride who sees it and in what circumstances. And it needs to be opened with care by people who have clean hands, and not on the bloody kitchen floor! White/ivory can get marked so easily.

I know posters are sneering about you mentioning the crumpled tissue and discarded card and bow. Maybe many people aren't bothered about those touches. But the reason those little extras are in there are to make opening the box feel special to a bride who does appreciate them.

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