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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding dress. AIBU to feel a little upset?

272 replies

Brightskiesandcoffee · 29/01/2025 08:10

I was waiting for my wedding dress delivery but as it was scheduled roughly same time as my GP appointment I called my Sis who lives 10 minutes away to take my niece (3) and come chill with me and receive the delivery if I’m not in exactly that time.
She happily agreed and Sod’s Law it came exactly when I was out. I received the message and despite the fact that I’m feeling horrible due to suspected chest and ear infections it just made my day knowing it’s here.
Went home, opened the door and my parcel was on the sofa, taken out of the plastic wrapping, there was supposed to be a nice little white bow on one of the corners which was missing. Sis apologised and said that her DD wanted to see “the princess dress” so she promised her “ just a quick little peek”. When I opened the lid the little card that was supposed to be there on the top was also missing and the tissue paper was a bit crumpled and broken. Again, she explained and she’s so sorry but my niece was just so fast, grabbed the card from the top and disturbed the paper. Both the white bow and little card I found on the kitchen floor. Obviously I’m not mad at my niece but AIBU to feel upset that I feel like I lost little bit of that magic? I thought I’m gonna do maybe a little unboxing video just for myself and have that first feeling of opening your wedding dress, delicate and beautiful and now it doesn’t feel the same anymore.
The dress is not dirty or damaged but I’m just upset that I got no bow and no card but crumpled and broken tissue paper… it was completely opposite what I had in my mind for this special moment, well at least for me?

OP posts:
poppymango · 29/01/2025 10:13

The idea of a sticky handed 3 year old grabbing and opening something as expensive and special as a wedding dress makes me very nervous indeed. She absolutely shouldn't have allowed it. It's great that it didn't get spoiled, but that's luck more than anything else. However I wouldn't make a big fuss out of it, as it was kind of her to agree to be there to take the package... just keep the dress well out of their way in future!

Staffyneedinghome · 29/01/2025 10:15

'No, DD, this is a very important parcel and Mummy needs to open it-she'll be back very soon!'

Not difficult.
I'd be really upset too OP.
I am not sure I'd have personally done an 'unboxing' video but they're an option with the tech we have and if that's what you wanted to do then that's your prerogative.

I'd ask someone you trust to re-wrap the frock and do one again. Hopefully this will be something you can laugh about in the future.

SapphireSeptember · 29/01/2025 10:17

StormingNorman · 29/01/2025 10:08

There’s a reason Net-a-Porter, Selfridges etc use nicer boxes and packaging than Amazon. It’s because it makes opening it feel a bit more luxurious and presents what’s inside in a more premium way.

If people didn’t appreciate these gestures, brands wouldn’t waste their money. So those PP sneering are in the minority.

The OP absolutely missed out on opening up what it for most people the most expensive dress they’ll ever own. She should have been able to enjoy that moment however she chose - including with an unboxing video for herself.

Not silly at all to have wanted to enjoy all the little touches like the card and bow.

This. I love make up that comes in pretty little boxes, much more fun than shrink wrap! (If they're really pretty I keep them.)

Not unreasonable! I'd hate people opening my parcels, this is just on another scale. That the bow and card were left crumpled up on the kitchen floor is just rude. I love it when sellers on eBay/Etsy put little cards in a package. I also love ribbons!

sesquipedalian · 29/01/2025 10:24

I am astounded that your DS took it upon herself to open your wedding dress package - it was addressed to YOU!! Perhaps you should point out to your sister that it’s an offence to open somebody else’s post. Having said that, and I do feel your pain and disappointment, and the fault lies entirely with your sister, I wouldn’t be getting too excited about a bow and some crumpled tissue paper. I do hope the dress lives up to your expectations, and I wish you good weather for your wedding day.

diddl · 29/01/2025 10:25

I don't think that your sister is lovely at all!

Doing something she shouldn't have & then making excuses rather than just saying sorry, it was wrong.

user1492757084 · 29/01/2025 10:28

Tell you sister off but also complain to the company.
Request a new bow etc.

The dress should have been made robust enought for a child to unpack it without it falling apart.
How would it have lasted dancing at the reception?
Take photos of the repairs needed.

wholettheturnipsburn · 29/01/2025 10:30

user1492757084 · 29/01/2025 10:28

Tell you sister off but also complain to the company.
Request a new bow etc.

The dress should have been made robust enought for a child to unpack it without it falling apart.
How would it have lasted dancing at the reception?
Take photos of the repairs needed.

The dress is fine. It was the bow on the packaging that the child took off

Differentstarts · 29/01/2025 10:34

TheGoogleMum · 29/01/2025 08:21

I've never heard of fiming opening a wedding dress package before but I suppose I picked mine up from a store so it was different. I can see that its hard to say no to a 3 yr old wanting to see the pretty dress but they really should have waited and it's incredibly rude to open someone else's post without permission.

The card and tissue paper I think you'll just have to get over as that seems a little dramatic to worry about, it's more the principle of opening your post!

Its not hard to say no to a 3 year old you say no its not yours. Auntie brightskiesandcoffee will show you when she's home. You do not open other people's mail

BunnyLake · 29/01/2025 10:37

If you wanted to open your parcel on video and enjoy the lovely wrappings and bows that was your right to do so. Whether posters like that idea or not is irrelevant.

helpfulperson · 29/01/2025 10:38

I bet alot of the people saying you are getting too upset about a bow and tissue paper are the same ones who get upset that granny did any minute 'first' with their child like buying the first advent calendar.

It feels like, as often seems to be the case these days, the wants of a child are seen as more important than anything to do with an adult.

kaos2 · 29/01/2025 10:39

Jeez , what is wrong with people !! Why can't they say no to their kids ffs !

I know it's not the bow you are upset about , it's the principle ..

I'd be cross with her too!

NiceoneSonny · 29/01/2025 10:40

NattyTurtle59 · 29/01/2025 08:26

An arsehole who did a favour for her sister by coming over to take delivery of the parcel.

Honestly, maybe she shouldn't have opened it, but what a lot of fuss and drama!! The dress wasn't damaged, that's all that matters.

Edited
Show quote history

Do you open your neighbours' parcels when you take them in as a favour? Doing a favour doesn't give you privileges. If you expect or just take something in return, it's not a favour. This sister is an arsehole.

rainbowstardrops · 29/01/2025 10:40

I'd be bloody cross with her too! Why couldn't she just tell her 3 year old that you don't open other people's parcels?! Lazy parenting.

BunnyLake · 29/01/2025 10:41

helpfulperson · 29/01/2025 10:38

I bet alot of the people saying you are getting too upset about a bow and tissue paper are the same ones who get upset that granny did any minute 'first' with their child like buying the first advent calendar.

It feels like, as often seems to be the case these days, the wants of a child are seen as more important than anything to do with an adult.

I remember a thread where the OP was upset (so upset she made a thread about it) because mil bought child’s first ice cream and stole that experience from mum. I kid you not.

Don’t want to go off topic but your post reminded me.

whatapalarva · 29/01/2025 10:43

Firstly, congratulations!! I wouldn't even think it needed to be said to my sister not to open the parcel when it arrives. I think that was spiteful. what is her situation could she be a bit jealous of your impending wedding?

BunnyLake · 29/01/2025 10:44

SapphireSeptember · 29/01/2025 10:17

This. I love make up that comes in pretty little boxes, much more fun than shrink wrap! (If they're really pretty I keep them.)

Not unreasonable! I'd hate people opening my parcels, this is just on another scale. That the bow and card were left crumpled up on the kitchen floor is just rude. I love it when sellers on eBay/Etsy put little cards in a package. I also love ribbons!

Show quote history

It’s actually against the law to open someone else’s post without their permission. Proof I think that doing do is not trivial.

ShetalkszZzzz · 29/01/2025 10:45

The audacity! People's opinions on you wanting to film unboxing are irrelevant. It was disrespectful and thoughtless. Yes the card and bow and tissue paper all matter, that's why they do them. It's called small touches. If they got brought an expensive gift and came in to find their box opened and bows and tissue paper gone on a pair of red bottoms they had just been gifted, they may feel a little defeated. This is where you don't fester on it though, because you will have more special moments. But what you do now, is tell your sister that she overstepped a boundary, that she ruined a special moment for you that you were very excited about. That you don't care if it was her or dd that wanted to see it, she should have told your niece NO it's not our parcel, it's special and we need to wait. Otherwise niece may grow up thinking it's normal to open people's parcels too. Say to her that it can't be un done, but in future, unless you have given her clearance to open something for you, to please not do that again. Just polite boundary setting is needed.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 29/01/2025 10:46

I said to her from now on unless directed personally from the recipient of the actually parcel to open it for them, DO NOT TOUCH IT and definitely don’t let your DD anywhere near it

You shouldn't need to tell her things like that, but itt's like a script of inadequate parenting ... She just wanted a little peek ... Oooo she was so fast ... Well we both knew what was in the parcel
Maybe just be grateful it didn't progress to "Ooooo I didn't see the chocolate on her fingers", but otherwise I'd fell for your sister with what she's got ccoming if tthis is the best control she has

Screamingabdabz · 29/01/2025 10:48

Brightskiesandcoffee · 29/01/2025 09:44

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and opinions.
My sister is actually really lovely person (ha!) and it definitely won’t ruin anything on the long run it just left a really bitter aftertaste for a while.
The next day after that she called me and said she’s sorry again but thought because we both knew what’s in the package it wasn’t like opening a completely strange letter or parcel or snooping around. And we’re sisters! Like that makes it better.
I said to her from now on unless directed personally from the recipient of the actually parcel to open it for them, DO NOT TOUCH IT and definitely don’t let your DD anywhere near it.

If she was lovely she wouldn’t have done it. Her explanation still makes no sense. It was a complete violation imo.

I don’t get the ‘no big deal’ posters. If opening someone’s wedding dress is no big deal, I’d hate to see what was a big deal when it comes to privacy and appropriateness in their lives.

YouDeserveBetterSoAskForIt · 29/01/2025 10:48

It is outrageous to open someone else's package no matter what it is. I would be annoyed if it was a new microwave, let alone a wedding dress.

YANBU but I don't think you can say anything.

NiceoneSonny · 29/01/2025 10:50

Yes the card and bow and tissue paper all matter, that's why they do them. It's called small touches.

That's true. Whenever I get a parcel from eBay or similar that is thoughtfully wrapped and with a message, I always mention this in the review, as it's a nice touch, and makes me more likely to buy from them again.

Harrysmummy246 · 29/01/2025 10:57

Get a grip. It's a dress in a box. Unboxing videos are possibly the worst thing about SM.
The dress is fine. It's your wedding day that's the important one, although arguably less than the rest of the married life.

gillefc82 · 29/01/2025 11:04

ThejoyofNC · 29/01/2025 08:15

I'd be really pissed off that she opened it.

Couldn't get worked up about a bow and some tissue paper. "Unboxing" videos are stupid.

This.

strawberrycrumbles · 29/01/2025 11:05

Harrysmummy246 · 29/01/2025 10:57

Get a grip. It's a dress in a box. Unboxing videos are possibly the worst thing about SM.
The dress is fine. It's your wedding day that's the important one, although arguably less than the rest of the married life.

unclench. You don't have to watch the videos if you don't like them. Who cares if they are not of your own taste?

People make videos of opening their make-up order or their shoes! So what, it's harmless, and it makes them happy.

Unboxing videos are possibly the worst thing about SM.
I am sure if you try hard enough, you can think of things worst than that.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 29/01/2025 11:12

I can't believe anyone videos the opening of a wedding dress box. Surely the OP was joking when she wrote that.
I mean....... why would you do that?