Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding dress. AIBU to feel a little upset?

272 replies

Brightskiesandcoffee · 29/01/2025 08:10

I was waiting for my wedding dress delivery but as it was scheduled roughly same time as my GP appointment I called my Sis who lives 10 minutes away to take my niece (3) and come chill with me and receive the delivery if I’m not in exactly that time.
She happily agreed and Sod’s Law it came exactly when I was out. I received the message and despite the fact that I’m feeling horrible due to suspected chest and ear infections it just made my day knowing it’s here.
Went home, opened the door and my parcel was on the sofa, taken out of the plastic wrapping, there was supposed to be a nice little white bow on one of the corners which was missing. Sis apologised and said that her DD wanted to see “the princess dress” so she promised her “ just a quick little peek”. When I opened the lid the little card that was supposed to be there on the top was also missing and the tissue paper was a bit crumpled and broken. Again, she explained and she’s so sorry but my niece was just so fast, grabbed the card from the top and disturbed the paper. Both the white bow and little card I found on the kitchen floor. Obviously I’m not mad at my niece but AIBU to feel upset that I feel like I lost little bit of that magic? I thought I’m gonna do maybe a little unboxing video just for myself and have that first feeling of opening your wedding dress, delicate and beautiful and now it doesn’t feel the same anymore.
The dress is not dirty or damaged but I’m just upset that I got no bow and no card but crumpled and broken tissue paper… it was completely opposite what I had in my mind for this special moment, well at least for me?

OP posts:
WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 31/01/2025 17:29

TheGoogleMum · 29/01/2025 08:21

I've never heard of fiming opening a wedding dress package before but I suppose I picked mine up from a store so it was different. I can see that its hard to say no to a 3 yr old wanting to see the pretty dress but they really should have waited and it's incredibly rude to open someone else's post without permission.

The card and tissue paper I think you'll just have to get over as that seems a little dramatic to worry about, it's more the principle of opening your post!

Why is it hard to say no to a to a 3 yr old? this is ridiculous! You explain to a 3 yr old why they cannot open someone else’s parcel, it’s a parents responsibility to teach their child respect and right from wrong. Ludicrous statement! No wonder this generation is growing up with a sense of entitlement

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 31/01/2025 17:33

pizzaHeart · 29/01/2025 08:44

I can see that its hard to say no to a 3 yr old wanting to see the pretty dress

@TheGoogleMum It’s no hard at all.You are just saying “no”, put the parcel upstairs and then offer them something else to do : drawing, watching TV, reading a book or just having a snack. You basically have to make an effort in parenting them, that’s all.

OP , I agree with everyone that it’s very disrespectful and rude from your sister. It was your post. What would be the next ? Snooping through your bank statements because your niece wanted to read fancy papers?
I would be very cross with her - she basically couldn’t be trusted.

Could you do a video of you trying it first time ? Maybe a friend can do it or your mum?

I think being unwell is adding a bit to your emotions .Hope you get well soon and have a lovely wedding💐

Edited

Complete disrespect for her sister, 3 yrs old and ‘can’t tell her no’ ludicrous, poor parenting

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 31/01/2025 17:37

MissDoubleU · 29/01/2025 08:44

It’s the excitement that’s been stolen - people are minimising but it’s the same as having someone open your birthday present before you even arrive to your party.

Yes, you can still get the present and it isn’t damaged but it would have been nice to see the wrapping paper and got to peel it open and have that joy/anticipation. That’s the whole point. Doesn’t matter if it’s a present you got for yourself, doesn’t matter the contents. No one should be opening your post and certainly not when you’re only popping round to the doctors and will be back any minute to do the opening yourself.

She could have easily, VERY easily, told DN she will see the dress when you return within 30 mins. She let her open your gift and destroy the wrapping, essentially. It’s not on and you have every right to be upset. You don’t need to justify that to anyone, it’s 100% valid.

Agree 100%

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 31/01/2025 17:43

Ellie1015 · 29/01/2025 08:46

Your sister and her child sat with you in your house when you have a chest and ear infection i think that is a bit annoying for them. Not getting to do unboxing a bit annoying for you. All not ideal but you got to GP and dress arrived so in that sense all good.

Your sister should be able to say no to 3 year old expect she also wanted a peek. They were a bit impatient but i wouldnt discuss it or think about it any further.

It’s not simply annoying, you are minimising this. Her sister opened her parcel, her wedding dress of all things, she had no right. It’s worse than someone opening your birthday presents. You are a one of those people who uses mumsnet to be nasty

outerspacepotato · 31/01/2025 17:52

I am not a sentimental person when it comes to things.

But OP is right here. It's up to her what she does with her things and doing an unboxing video of her wedding dress was something she was really looking forward to.

Now that's been ruined by a parenting fail of her sister. I have no clue what she was thinking opening someone else's wedding dress for her young child in the first place, but handling it and breaking something off, come on. Sister was way out of line here. She was so out of line that maybe she could offer to pay someone to do a spectacular rewrap job of the dress and not let her kid anywhere near it.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 31/01/2025 17:59

hydriotaphia · 31/01/2025 16:47

TBH I wouldn't have let a child open a box like this, but personally I wouldn't have thought twice about letting them have the bow on the lid. Genuinely wouldn't occur to me that an adult would want this. And remember she was doing you a favour by coming over with her kid to get the parcel in the first place! I get you're upset but I would try to just get over it.

The fact her sister was doing her a favour does not give @Brightskiesandcoffee‘s sister the right to open her post, @hydriotaphia.

You simply do not open someone else’s post or parcels, unless there is a very good reason and they have given permission - neither of which applied here. Her sister pandered to a 3 year old, and spoiled something the OP was looking forward to. I don’t think ‘doing her a ‘favour’ is a good excuse for this.

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 31/01/2025 18:29

Brightskiesandcoffee · 29/01/2025 08:32

I understand that unboxing videos and silly little bows are not to everyone and that’s ok but that’s what I wanted to do and that’s also ok. It never even crossed my mind to think that she would open the parcel, I thought that’s common sense not to do it!

You are absolutely right OP, and disregard anyone who thinks otherwise. I hope you gave your sister one almighty bollocking

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 31/01/2025 18:34

WhenTheyComeForYou · 30/01/2025 19:23

YANBU to want to have opened the dress

YABU to have wanted to make an unboxing video. Enjoy real life, not everything needs to be a chance to act like a tv star

No, you are wrong, OP is not behaving like a TV star, she’s collating moments of her wedding. The wedding celebration doesn’t consist of one day, it’s also a collection of moments to be treasured and look back on. The opening of the wedding dress would have been one of those moments.
OP is not being unreasonable at any point.

WhenTheyComeForYou · 31/01/2025 20:25

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 31/01/2025 18:34

No, you are wrong, OP is not behaving like a TV star, she’s collating moments of her wedding. The wedding celebration doesn’t consist of one day, it’s also a collection of moments to be treasured and look back on. The opening of the wedding dress would have been one of those moments.
OP is not being unreasonable at any point.

Show quote history

It’s fake. She already knows what the dress looks like so what reaction could she possibly have to it arriving other than “oh, here’s my wedding dress!”.

I hate all the video crap, no one’s going to want to watch it.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 31/01/2025 21:25

WhenTheyComeForYou · 31/01/2025 20:25

It’s fake. She already knows what the dress looks like so what reaction could she possibly have to it arriving other than “oh, here’s my wedding dress!”.

I hate all the video crap, no one’s going to want to watch it.

Show quote history

Oh FFS, OP states in her first post the video is for her. What is so hard to understand about that? It's not hurting anyone, least of all you.

Why do so many people on this thread want to kick the OP?

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 31/01/2025 21:53

BrightLeader · 30/01/2025 22:04

I feel it's just a shame you didn't go the traditional route of ordering from a Bridal shop for your dress. That way your experience would have been so much better than having a crumpled dress in a box.

Really! And how do you know it wasn’t chosen from a bridal shop and delivered by courier following alterations?
Your comment is uncalled for, and the issue is that her sister opened it, not how OP purchased it. Rude!

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 01/02/2025 00:12

WhenTheyComeForYou · 31/01/2025 20:25

It’s fake. She already knows what the dress looks like so what reaction could she possibly have to it arriving other than “oh, here’s my wedding dress!”.

I hate all the video crap, no one’s going to want to watch it.

Show quote history

Hate is a very strong word… I’m sure her loved ones and friends will enjoy watching those special moments with her after the day.
Sounds like you have an unhappy life and you can’t be glad for others, sad.

HipToTheHopDontStop · 01/02/2025 09:34

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 31/01/2025 18:34

No, you are wrong, OP is not behaving like a TV star, she’s collating moments of her wedding. The wedding celebration doesn’t consist of one day, it’s also a collection of moments to be treasured and look back on. The opening of the wedding dress would have been one of those moments.
OP is not being unreasonable at any point.

Show quote history

Collating moments....FFS 🤮

AlexandrinaH · 01/02/2025 09:38

ThejoyofNC · 29/01/2025 08:15

I'd be really pissed off that she opened it.

Couldn't get worked up about a bow and some tissue paper. "Unboxing" videos are stupid.

This. It’s so not on she opened it. An “unboxing” video is ridiculous and I cringed when I read that.

AlexandrinaH · 01/02/2025 09:44

Shardlake63 · 29/01/2025 08:57

It is actually illegal to intentionally open someone else's mail in the UK!
I think I would have found this upsetting too. Not because I wanted to film it - is this a thing these days?? - but because she allowed her daughter to open a parcel addressed to me, especially such a special one. Is no one capable of saying no to their children these days?
She should have waited for you to return and then asked if was okay for her daughter to watch you open your parcel. It would then be up to you to decide if you were happy with that or if you wanted to open it in private.
Fortunately, no actual harm has been done.
I do hope you have a lovely wedding and I'm sure you will have so many happy memories of the day that the unboxing of your dress will become less of an issue for you.
They really should not have done it though, they were well out of order.

Incorrect. It’s illegal to open it with malicious intent.

WeCanOnlyDoOurBest · 01/02/2025 09:49

NeverKnowinglyUnderstated · 29/01/2025 08:45

This!
And why all the sneery comments about bows, tissue etc? Everyone has different ideas and different things that matter to them, no need to be mean!

Show quote history

Agree, there’s some really vile people who use MN to spit their vitriol on people. They must have awful lives to behave in this way and therefore wish others had too.

Ilovemyshed · 01/02/2025 10:12

Unboxing video and bows aside, your sister was wrong to have opened it.

If she now knows that and if she is truly sorry then move on. Doesn't change the fact she should bot have touched it.

You now need to decide if you will move on or let it fester.

Shardlake63 · 01/02/2025 11:13

AlexandrinaH · 01/02/2025 09:44

Incorrect. It’s illegal to open it with malicious intent.

Edited
Show quote history

According to the Postal Services Act 2000, it is illegal to open mail that is not addressed to you, unless you can show reasonable excuse. I don't think her niece simply wanting to see the dress would be deemed as reasonable excuse.

HipToTheHopDontStop · 01/02/2025 11:15

Shardlake63 · 01/02/2025 11:13

According to the Postal Services Act 2000, it is illegal to open mail that is not addressed to you, unless you can show reasonable excuse. I don't think her niece simply wanting to see the dress would be deemed as reasonable excuse.

Show quote history

No. That's not what it says.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 01/02/2025 12:41

AlexandrinaH · 01/02/2025 09:38

This. It’s so not on she opened it. An “unboxing” video is ridiculous and I cringed when I read that.

Show quote history

She wanted to keep a record of unwrapping her wedding dress, as part of her wedding memories, @AlexandrinaH. I don’t think that is cringey. It wouldn’t be something I would want to do, but for her, it was part of the excitement of the run up to the wedding.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 01/02/2025 13:20

AlexandrinaH · 01/02/2025 09:38

This. It’s so not on she opened it. An “unboxing” video is ridiculous and I cringed when I read that.

Show quote history

I've cringed when reading all the nasty, bitchy posts on this thread

Windowsand · 01/02/2025 13:28

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 01/02/2025 12:41

She wanted to keep a record of unwrapping her wedding dress, as part of her wedding memories, @AlexandrinaH. I don’t think that is cringey. It wouldn’t be something I would want to do, but for her, it was part of the excitement of the run up to the wedding.

Show quote history

Agree.
Why are so many so nasty on MN.
What harm is there in it.
Such a vicious site.

I think the sister was so rude to allow her child touch the packaging.
Unbelievably rude thing to allow happen.

Littlemisslaughalot · 01/02/2025 16:24

NattyTurtle59 · 29/01/2025 08:26

An arsehole who did a favour for her sister by coming over to take delivery of the parcel.

Honestly, maybe she shouldn't have opened it, but what a lot of fuss and drama!! The dress wasn't damaged, that's all that matters.

Edited
Show quote history

An absolute arsehole for not only opening someone else's post but a parcel that she knew was actually quite special. It's like opening someone else's birthday present and it's not ok. This will all be forgotten once more special things happen but she's allowed to be upset.
Although I absolutely don't understand the video thing, I'm over 40 so it's lost on me 🤣

Northernladdette · 01/02/2025 16:43

I thought you were going to say she spilt ribena all over it 😣
That said, no way should your sister have opened it 🙄

Umidontknow · 01/02/2025 16:44

Nope you are not unreasonable at all. It was rude. BUT it's not the end of the world, pour yourself a big glass of wine, have a little sulk and then move on - dont make it into a family fued which will end up ruining the day far more than a lack of a dress unboxing video. And just think you have a 3 year old niece who thinks you are going to look like a princess on your wedding day 😊