Wedding dress. AIBU to feel a little upset?

[Brightskiesandcoffee]

I was waiting for my wedding dress delivery but as it was scheduled roughly same time as my GP appointment I called my Sis who lives 10 minutes away to take my niece (3) and come chill with me and receive the delivery if I’m not in exactly that time.
She happily agreed and Sod’s Law it came exactly when I was out. I received the message and despite the fact that I’m feeling horrible due to suspected chest and ear infections it just made my day knowing it’s here.
Went home, opened the door and my parcel was on the sofa, taken out of the plastic wrapping, there was supposed to be a nice little white bow on one of the corners which was missing. Sis apologised and said that her DD wanted to see “the princess dress” so she promised her “ just a quick little peek”. When I opened the lid the little card that was supposed to be there on the top was also missing and the tissue paper was a bit crumpled and broken. Again, she explained and she’s so sorry but my niece was just so fast, grabbed the card from the top and disturbed the paper. Both the white bow and little card I found on the kitchen floor. Obviously I’m not mad at my niece but AIBU to feel upset that I feel like I lost little bit of that magic? I thought I’m gonna do maybe a little unboxing video just for myself and have that first feeling of opening your wedding dress, delicate and beautiful and now it doesn’t feel the same anymore.
The dress is not dirty or damaged but I’m just upset that I got no bow and no card but crumpled and broken tissue paper… it was completely opposite what I had in my mind for this special moment, well at least for me?

God there's some nasty people on here, sneering at the OP for the unboxing video. In her first post OP says it's for her, she's not forcing other people to watch it 🙄

It wouldn't be something I would do but so what if someone else wants to?

Why do you take photos of holidays or you children or your pets? To enjoy reliving the memory.

Wouldn't bother me a jot. She did you a favour. Bows and unboxing BS are not what getting married is about. Get some perspective.

How dramatic. I wouldn't be offering to come and sit in for any parcels for you from now on. Yes, she shouldn't have opened it, but you are making a massive deal out of this, and I wouldn't have taken kindly to being reprimanded on calling you to apologise.

And as for the "ha", are you really implying that this was in any doubt because of this instance?

This is all on your sister. She must have told her daughter there was a 'princess dress' in there and got her excited.
And her daughter being 'so fast' in grabbing the card is bullshit, because she'd have been faster than her kid if there was a sex toy or 5lb of raw minced beef being delivered.
Is her daughter one of your bridesmaids? Expect more main character bullshit from your sister. Good luck.

Really shit to have allowed the box to be opened but “an unboxing video”? Have a word with yourself!

You are both being unreasonable for entirely different things.

Your sister is a massive CF for opening YOUR parcel, whatever was in it.
I would have laughed if the postman had actually delivered two parcels and she had opened a box of sex toys that you had ordered for your honeymoon, and the dress arriving 10 minutes after you got home.

I don't' even open DH's parcels without checking it's OK. You sister was totally unreasonable and you can do whatever you want with you unopened parcel. No one else's business.

WRT unboxing video, this is a personal preference and the op has every right to do this without the unpleasant comments.

It’s very common on SM for far less than a wedding dress. I understand it is a way to capture a private moment that won’t happen again.

What I don’t understand is why the bow and card were on the kitchen floor. That is a level of disrespect above just letting a 3 year old having a peek at the dress. I would have made sure everything was put back exactly how it arrived.

I just would not let a sticky fingered child open any new clothes of mine, let alone a wedding dress.

OP I get you and glad your last message was a bit more cheerful. Obv it's not the done thing to open anyone's post but in the scheme of things the dress is intact, hopefully the GP said your symptoms are not serious, your have a sister and little niece nearby who are so excited about the wedding.

Have a cup of tea, reframe and make this a funny and sweet part of your unboxing video. I'm not a 'positive vibes only ' type who won't acknowledge annoyance because I do see where you're coming from. But I think in time if you can see the funny side, you'll value the memory of opening your dress with a little help from your niece and sister, in their excitement much more than if you dig your heels into wanting a sterile version of perfection. I'm not into videos etc at all but accept that some are and that's fine. Make this yours with family involvement and a smile. I think its a charming little story already!

I would be livid. How dare they open your parcel especially such a momentous one.

I would have to say something, it's spoiled a huge moment. What a nosy bitch!

If she called to say sorry then followed it up with "but" and a load of justifications about why she thought it was ok, then she's not actually sorry.

A proper apology would be "I'm really sorry, I should never have allowed my daughter to open it, I should have told her no and kept her away from it. I went for the easy option, and that meant you had to come home to the paper torn off and bits over the kitchen floor. That's my fault and it won't happen again"

Also ignore the unboxing scoffing comments, I read it as you wanting to preserve the memory just for your eyes only, not plaster it all over social media! It's your wedding dress, if you want to do that crack on! Smooth out the paper, put the bow and card back on and have a do over.

Your sister had promised her DD that they were waiting for a "Princess Dress". Where else would your niece have got the idea from? She'd wound her DD up and as a consequence had to let her open the parcel or there would've been tantrums. It's bang out of order for something so special and I'd be angry too.

there is no way your sister should have opened your package.

You need to relive the memory of opening a box? What next, film yourself on the toilet the night before your wedding, so you can relive that memory? #mylastshitasasingle #girlies #bridezilla

Why is it an issue for you if OP wanted to video herself unboxing the dress? You seem to want to be nasty for sake of it 🙄

I think a it's a weird thing to be sentimental over. Annoying that she opened it but wanting to film it and feeling sad about missing a special moment is a bit lame imo.

ginasevern

She'd wound her DD up and as a consequence had to let her open the parcel or there would've been tantrums.

Of course she didn't have to let her open it. Let her DD have a tantrum if she's that way inclined.
I know people find it "hard to say 'No' " and, apparently, are frightened of tantrums but that's part of bringing up a child and teaching it how to behave.
Anything else is really lazy and not in the child's best interests.

All your sister had to do was kindly explain that because it was her auntie's special dress and also a parcel addressed to her that means it is just for . Valuable little life lesson for the child .

As soon as I saw your mention of unboxing videos I knew you would get shitty replies, and MNers did not disappoint. It's a shame, because it's a distraction from the real issue that of course YANBU. It was your dress and your private property in your home and your SIL was bang out of order letting her daughter 'peek' - and she knows that perfectly well or she wouldn't have called the next day to apologise again.

Some people just cannot say no to their kids. It's fucking ridiculous.

I don't have time for Bridezillas. This isn't that. The sister is completely out of order for opening the box and letting her kid get into it.

Your sister is massively fucking out of order.

Neice could have a look when you opened it.

Are you 3 OP, or was it your niece that’s 3?