Wedding dress. AIBU to feel a little upset?

[Brightskiesandcoffee]

I was waiting for my wedding dress delivery but as it was scheduled roughly same time as my GP appointment I called my Sis who lives 10 minutes away to take my niece (3) and come chill with me and receive the delivery if I’m not in exactly that time.
She happily agreed and Sod’s Law it came exactly when I was out. I received the message and despite the fact that I’m feeling horrible due to suspected chest and ear infections it just made my day knowing it’s here.
Went home, opened the door and my parcel was on the sofa, taken out of the plastic wrapping, there was supposed to be a nice little white bow on one of the corners which was missing. Sis apologised and said that her DD wanted to see “the princess dress” so she promised her “ just a quick little peek”. When I opened the lid the little card that was supposed to be there on the top was also missing and the tissue paper was a bit crumpled and broken. Again, she explained and she’s so sorry but my niece was just so fast, grabbed the card from the top and disturbed the paper. Both the white bow and little card I found on the kitchen floor. Obviously I’m not mad at my niece but AIBU to feel upset that I feel like I lost little bit of that magic? I thought I’m gonna do maybe a little unboxing video just for myself and have that first feeling of opening your wedding dress, delicate and beautiful and now it doesn’t feel the same anymore.
The dress is not dirty or damaged but I’m just upset that I got no bow and no card but crumpled and broken tissue paper… it was completely opposite what I had in my mind for this special moment, well at least for me?

I’ve waited for other people’s parcels on many occasions, would never cross my mind to open one! Niece should just have been told it is illegal to do that (at 3 she’ll know who the police are I assume) and to wait.

I'd be so mad if my sister opened any of my mail, never mind my wedding dress.
What if your niece had grabbed it with dirty hands? She's 3, she should never have been near it!
Your sister had no right to do that.

Omg I'm fuming on your behalf! How dare she let her brat open your beautiful wedding dress (your actual post) and damage it?! Noo way, parenting like that results in entitled children and adults. That child is going to be one entitled adult if her parent just sat back and allowed her to ruin her aunt's wedding dress!

Yes this would upset me. And she didn't seem to try very hard to put the card and bow back. The video is a bit OTT but if that's what you wanted to do then she has taken that away.
Frankly anyone should recognise getting your wedding dress is a specialty moment - she wouldn't have opened up a random parcel so it's worse to open a special one. And she should be able to tell her DD to wait till you got home!

Your niece is a child , your sister is at fault . I would never open a parcel I was asked to take care of especially something as important as this wedding dress is . I'd be upset too 😤

I agree your sister was wrong - but please don't let it ruin your relationship with her. Sisters are precious .

I think it’s shitty she opened it. I totally get why you are annoyed.

Having read some responses, I would add that, while your sister was completely in the wrong and I would have been angry and upset too, I don't think you should let this spoil your relationship with her.
It seems to be an otherwise good relationship and stopping her and your niece from being a bridesmaid and flower girl (if they are) or finding you can't get past this incident would spoil that.
My maternal family were always a-feudin' and a-fightin' about something - I wasn't christened until I was 3 because various people weren't talking to each other.
I've never had a satisfactory explanation of what the falling out was about; my suspicion is that nobody actually remembered!

Don't let this spoil your day or your relationship with your sister.

Eta Or what @Indianajet said, far more concisely - X-posted because I'm a slow typist

I agreed with you until I got to ‘unboxing video’. Sorry

Don't be so ridiculous, the three year old child is not to blame for what happened here. How petty you sound.

Nobody should open someone else's parcel, especially an important one like this. Yanbu at all.

Your sis is being VVVU!

I don’t understand unboxing videos myself but a wedding dress is clearly a very important package and not for anyone but the bride to open, especially not a toddler!!

I have an energetic, curious, strong-willed 3 year old and it would never cross my mind to let him open something that wasn’t his. “No DS, that’s not for you; that’s Auntie’s package and she’ll be very upset if you touch it. Now come over here, let’s read this book/play with toy/ watch this to show”. (Whilst moving package out of reach).

is DSIS usually this thoughtless or is this a one-off?

Yes this is it exactly, it's like opening your birthday present without you.

That's completely out of order, you are too kind towards your sister!
Lucky the unruly child didn't ruin the dress.

YANBU to be sad, but it's done. Make it a special moment to try it on?

As above, I picked mine up from the shop, there are other things to celebrate, and all the trimmings to order and unwrap!

well, if her mother can't or want control her, it wouldn't bode well for an actual wedding would it?

It's not petty not to want a flower girl when the parents refuse to.. parent.

Is there any chance of jealousy with your DS? As in, could she have wanted to spoil it just a tiny bit, without actually spoiling it too much?

Is she herself married, is your dress nicer than what she could afford, or is there any other reason you can think of it might have been a partial spite?

Totally wrong and rude of sister to open your post , let alone a special wedding dress

to show a 3yr 🙄

you tell the 3yr is Auntys we don’t open it

i would be furious and tell sis this

Quite agree about your sister; she was completely out of order opening your parcel or letting her small child open your parcel which in a way is worse because small children are less careful.

About the video: why not go with the situation as it is? Start by turning the camera on the bow and card lying on the kitchen floor, film yourself picking them up and saying you're just back from the GP feeling rotten, only to find that little Annabel has got in first, opened your parcel and crumpled the tissue paper. Groan! But this will be the first time you see the dress in your own home and here you are removing the tissue paper and shaking it out... And go from there.

In the lead up to your wedding and perhaps on the day itself there will be many beautiful moments and also, inevitably, some not-perfect moments. Include all of them and your memories of this special time will have a richer, more colourful texture.

Like others the unboxing video is something I don’t really understand

However, what I do understand is why you are upset. I would have been upset in the same position. Your sister was completely wrong here. This was important for you and she had no right to allow it to be spoiled.
So I think YANBU.

Seriously why does everything have to be an experience these days?
it’s a courier bringing a parcel which happens to be a dress, it’s not a ‘special moment’.
Your sister on the other hand, piss poor parenting from her.

I think you're a bit OTT with uboxing videos etc... but regardless of that how dare she open your parcel??

Sisters an arse,

But it does give me an insight into younger women-

A video of box opening.

I do t know what to say.

I'd be cross and feel invaded if someone opened any of my post, especially if it involved a child being given access to something fragile (which she must have been, if she got to grab the card and tissue). On the other hand, your 'unboxing video' comment and the obsession with the discarded bow lost me and I'm now imagining you throwing tantrums at your wedding if your DH to be doesn't act sufficiently overcome and weepy in the carefully-staged 'first look' video.

I can see that its hard to say no to a 3 yr old wanting to see the pretty dress

She wouldn't have even known what was in the big box if her mum hadn't told her!

Op your sister is a cretin for blaming her child for her own nosiness!