Wedding dress. AIBU to feel a little upset?

[Brightskiesandcoffee]

I was waiting for my wedding dress delivery but as it was scheduled roughly same time as my GP appointment I called my Sis who lives 10 minutes away to take my niece (3) and come chill with me and receive the delivery if I’m not in exactly that time.
She happily agreed and Sod’s Law it came exactly when I was out. I received the message and despite the fact that I’m feeling horrible due to suspected chest and ear infections it just made my day knowing it’s here.
Went home, opened the door and my parcel was on the sofa, taken out of the plastic wrapping, there was supposed to be a nice little white bow on one of the corners which was missing. Sis apologised and said that her DD wanted to see “the princess dress” so she promised her “ just a quick little peek”. When I opened the lid the little card that was supposed to be there on the top was also missing and the tissue paper was a bit crumpled and broken. Again, she explained and she’s so sorry but my niece was just so fast, grabbed the card from the top and disturbed the paper. Both the white bow and little card I found on the kitchen floor. Obviously I’m not mad at my niece but AIBU to feel upset that I feel like I lost little bit of that magic? I thought I’m gonna do maybe a little unboxing video just for myself and have that first feeling of opening your wedding dress, delicate and beautiful and now it doesn’t feel the same anymore.
The dress is not dirty or damaged but I’m just upset that I got no bow and no card but crumpled and broken tissue paper… it was completely opposite what I had in my mind for this special moment, well at least for me?

I think it’s probably obvious to most adults you don’t open someone else’s parcel, especially if that parcel is someone’s wedding dress.
It’s reasonable to expect better, especially from your own sister.

Honestly OP, I would be fuming too, so incredibly rude for your sister to have opened it. Doesn't matter who thinks bows and tissue paper are important, you had an idea of what you wanted to do that was special to you & she spoilt it.
As others have said, your niece wouldn't have known what the parcel was without being told, it was then up to your sister to manage that. I'm sure at 3 seeing a 'princess' dress would be exciting, but this doesn't mean the parcel should have been opened by anyone but you, no matter what was in it.

Hope you're feeling better soon. 💐

The right thing to do was for your sister to take delivery of the box and then lay it on your bed, not let her kid rip it all apart. I’d be fuming OP

no you wouldn't.

Knockgour

On the other hand, your 'unboxing video' comment and the obsession with the discarded bow lost me and I'm now imagining you throwing tantrums at your wedding if your DH to be doesn't act sufficiently overcome and weepy in the carefully-staged 'first look' video.

I feel that's a bit unfair.
The OP has made 2 posts, the 2nd one specifically to say that she knows unboxing videos and bows aren't for everyone.
Hard to say she's got an "obsession" with the bow from what she's actually written.
I know this is AIBU and it can be robust, but I think it's a big step from someone saying they were upset that someone opened their parcel and damaged some of the packaging to thinking they're obsessed and will throw tantrums at their DH on their wedding day.

I would hate it if my sister did that to my parcel. Child or not. Is there a power play going on here? Does she dominate you in other ways and trample over your plans and your life. I'd be feeling like I'd want to send that dress back and choose a different one. Just so that she can't have the feeling of having seen it first on the big day. No one, absolutely no one saw my dress before I appeared in it on the day itself. It's traditional to keep the dress secret. I'd be keeping my sister totally in the dark about any more of the wedding plans from here on.

Good luck at sorting it out with her. Could you ask her to pack it back up and ship it back for you so she can make amends?

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and opinions.
My sister is actually really lovely person (ha!) and it definitely won’t ruin anything on the long run it just left a really bitter aftertaste for a while.
The next day after that she called me and said she’s sorry again but thought because we both knew what’s in the package it wasn’t like opening a completely strange letter or parcel or snooping around. And we’re sisters! Like that makes it better.
I said to her from now on unless directed personally from the recipient of the actually parcel to open it for them, DO NOT TOUCH IT and definitely don’t let your DD anywhere near it.

Could this have been done purposely, do you think?

Is there some jealously there? Is your sister married?

I'd be furious too

And to leave the bow and card on the FLOOR

It's not hard to say no.

You just say "no"

You are right to be upset, your wedding dress for your special day!!! Your sister could have been an adult and a responsible human being and said to your niece "no, you cannot open the parcel, you need to wait until auntie gets home". Obviously, the child knows no boundaries and I would have been bloody furious.

Opening other people’s parcels is obviously not cool, but it does make my ancient eyeballs roll into orbit when people talk about “magic” and “experiences” in relation to wedding dresses. My PA collected mine because I was stuck in a meeting, and I was very grateful. It’s only a frock. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sis was in the wrong. BUT, this obsession with every little thing being a curated, videoed, and edited "special moment" is off the charts.

Unboxing videos and obsessing over a ribbon is what 14 year olds do. You really need to grow up.

I'd be extremely pissed off if someone let their child open any of my parcels, let alone a wedding dress.

You were going to video yourself opening the box?? Wtf nonsense is that! I really am amazed at how people live their lives 😆

But yes I would be annoyed at your sister. Opening a nicely wrapped parcel is lovely. Especially your wedding dress!

Very bad behaviour on your sister’s part. And her excuse that her dd was too quick for her is rubbish. I’d be very annoyed at the audacity opening your parcel, which is actually illegal without permission. Not that you’d report her but it shows it is unacceptable behaviour even on a legal level.

Your sister totally stole your moment. I’d be fuming too. Who even thinks to open someone else’s parcels?

It's ok to want nice, silly and inconsequential things, whatever the vipers say.

I'm sorry your sister opened it. One of my favourite wedding videos is of me messing around with my lovely old cats in the crinoline when it arrived.

I'd be saying, "thanks for the favour, but I really wanted to open the dress myself, please tell niece she has to wait if there's anything similar in future".

And of course it's easy to say no to a three year old. Even if they scream the place down, you put the parcel out of reach!

Very very rude of your sister.
Sounds like your niece can't be told no either.

I think a lot of brides would be very pissed off with such rudeness.

This completely, including that unboxing videos are ridiculous. But even though they’re daft, you should have had the choice.

I felt a bit queasy reading your post OP, and I don’t have a single bride gene in my body! Your sister shouldn’t have allowed this, and the fact that the card and ribbon were just left on the kitchen floor shows a complete disregard for your feelings. I would be so angry in your shoes.

She's a cheeky bint. My dsis would NEVER do that.

Does she have form for pulling shit like this?

It's like someone unwrapping your Christmas present before you get up on Christmas Day and when you finally come downstairs they say oh you've got a lovely necklace here…

There’s a reason Net-a-Porter, Selfridges etc use nicer boxes and packaging than Amazon. It’s because it makes opening it feel a bit more luxurious and presents what’s inside in a more premium way.

If people didn’t appreciate these gestures, brands wouldn’t waste their money. So those PP sneering are in the minority.

The OP absolutely missed out on opening up what it for most people the most expensive dress they’ll ever own. She should have been able to enjoy that moment however she chose - including with an unboxing video for herself.

Not silly at all to have wanted to enjoy all the little touches like the card and bow.

I'd not be happy with the sister. How did her daughter know it was a 'princess dress'? Of course a little girl is going to want to look at it.

This was bang out of order. I wouldn't be so annoyed about the card and bow personally but they could have stained or damaged the dress. Your sister sounds like my BiL who is lovely but an absolute balloon.
Regardless of what anyone on MN thinks, this was a special parcel and she should have just said 'wait for auntie to come home then we can all see it together'.