Do you/would you let your Dc to play at their friends home with only the dad there?

[Thegardenisgettingoutofhand]

And the teenage brother?

Dc is 6, friend on the street regularly comes to play and vice versa. We know the family, very nice. Generally it’s at weekends, mum is there, dad works, sometimes after school.
It seems to be the dad at home this week. Dc’s friend just popped in to play now and asked if my Dc can go to their house later.
The dad is there and the teenage son (18 ish)

Am I being weird even thinking about it?

I wouldn't have a problem. You say you know the family and they are nice.

I did but then the Dad was a SATD so he was the person I knew best.

if you have concerns it’s fine to say “no”.

The dad seems great and teenage brother is lovely, I just had this thought of it being just my Dd and ridiculous as it sounds, three other males and maybe it’s better when mum is back?

Yes of course.

My DH has babysat friend's kids and my DS has been looked after by their dad.

DDs friend has a single dad, never thought any thing of it. He doesn't host sleepovers though, which is fair enough.

Yes. We do.

People let their children play here supervised by my husband. They love him because he helps with homework (he is a teacher).

We had a male babysitter for years. We had a male aupair for a year. Our kids loved them. They were great!

It's perfectly fine and normal for the only supervising parent to be a man. Seriously, how do you think this works when there's a single dad?!

What is the actual reason you ask?

Well my kids frequently have their friends for sleepovers with only their dad here. Have never once considered I needed to inform their parents. What an odd way of thinking. He is their dad and probably a more active parent than I am!

Ok I see this is a me thing, I likely will let her, but I did pause to think

So, guess you also have issues with all other men. Teachers, relatives, your own family.

Have you contacted your daughters school to arrange a predator awarness evening to decide when ALL boys must be banned from interacting with girls?

Will you do the same at High School?

Genuine questions

They're not genuine questions, you're having a dig.

OP's question would have made me defensive too - DH was a single dad when we met, and his life was hard enough without everyone thinking he might be a paedo.

However... a member of our extended family (a man) has recently been caught and convicted for online child sex offences. He was hiding in plain sight. So OP, I can see why you paused. Most abuse happens from those who are close - family, friends of family, etc. And most of the perpetrators are male.

I think you just have to go with your gut. I would probably have my reservations now too.

It’s ok to have these concerns.

Predators aren’t always the stereotypical weirdo walking down the street and can hide in plain sight.

I would suggest having an age appropriate conversation with your daughter about how her body is hers and people don’t have the right to touch her private parts etc. Sites like NSPCC have great videos and helpful tools.

MNs is obsessed with abuse.

Yes unless my gut was telling otherwise.

Trust your instinct.

Because?

It’s pretty obvious so why are you asking?

I know. It’s obvious why OP asked. Just hope the poor man doesn’t find out what his kids play dates parents are thinking about him behind closed doors.

Does your DD not have a dad? Or what about a grandad? Can they be alone with her?

Perhaps I hoped that if people were going to infer such things they might at least have the courage to say it. Yes it’s obvious and it’s also pretty unnecessary to jump straight to.

Most decent men wouldn’t care less. They’d know that there are a minority of men who tarnish it for others. Most parents try to minimise risks for their children.

Courage? There’s nothing wrong with safeguarding your children in the way you see fit, even if other’s don’t agree.

OP was fine to raise this question and has nothing to be ashamed of.

And women abuse children too.
No one on MN would ask if their child could go supervised by a friend's mother, a friend's older sister or a female babysitter.

I always hoped my DS didn't opt for training to become a teacher. Most of our families are teachers. Tbh it's not worth it nowadays to be a (young single) male in a lot of professions.

Actually I'm not sure that I would leave my small DD with a man and teenage boy.

I prefer it if mum is home. I trust women more.

I'd probably go with my gut instinct on it. And I wouldn't feel guilty for saying no if it doesn't sit right.

Women are statistically MUCH less likely to abuse children than men. Yes it happens but less likely. Likeliness is a key factor in risk assessments, as I’m sure you’re aware.