Do you/would you let your Dc to play at their friends home with only the dad there?

[Thegardenisgettingoutofhand]

And the teenage brother?

Dc is 6, friend on the street regularly comes to play and vice versa. We know the family, very nice. Generally it’s at weekends, mum is there, dad works, sometimes after school.
It seems to be the dad at home this week. Dc’s friend just popped in to play now and asked if my Dc can go to their house later.
The dad is there and the teenage son (18 ish)

Am I being weird even thinking about it?

You've asked because something is bothering you about it. I'm always over careful with my dd due to some things that happened in my family that shouldn't have. Use your gut instinct.

You are throwing accusations around.Or why else would you say no?

My play date rules included other mothers, not just men/fathers.
I didn't want to take that unnecessary risk with my children, I didn't know any of my children's friends well enough to trust them with my children alone.

Your husband?

Because statistically the vast majority of abusers are men, so if you are balancing the risks, the risks are much greater with a lone male than a lone female.

Absolutely not. Any decent man will know why women don't trust men with their children.

@Pyjamatimenow so therefore you should ensure your children are never alone with their friend's male parent? It seems excessive.
Do you trust your male partner to be alone with a child without raping them?! I know I do. And I'm an abuse victim from many years back.

DH and I did 50/50 parenting. So he hosted play dates as often as me.

We were friends with the parents of DC’s local friends.

No one had an issue with Dads looking after the kids.

Instead of pointing fingers and shouting " sexsist!" at discerning parents why don't you do something about the horrible stats that the majority of sexual abuse is committed by men.

Ask your husbands if they would be happy to leave their young child in this case a young girl in the sole care of an only male household including teenagers.

It's a risk assessment, you put things in place to reduce risks everyday for your children, you use rear facing car seats, you cut up grapes and don't give them marshmallows to avoid choking... well I don't leave my children in private houses with people I don't know well.

The statistics support her hesitancy

Sport coaches, scout leaders, teachers, fathers, brorhers etc.. Didn't you know men are everywhere!

Yes because I’m sure as sure as possible that they’re safe with him but no they don’t get left alone with any other men. That’s my choice

They are OUR fathers, brothers, sons, uncles, husbands etc etc etc. Not the obvious weirdo down the street

I don't agree, but understand the reasoning of people who say no, I understand the reasoning of the poster saying "no playdate ever" (is it really a healthy attitude to raise your child with?) but at least it's consistent.

However I would love to know how practically it works for the others?

Do you ask for guarantee from the mum that she will be there at all time?
Do you specify the dad is never to be left alone with the kids for any amount of time?

The number of time I dropped a child and picked him up from another parent, because one had to work./ run errands/ pick up their own child. I had evenings when dad was in charge of the sleepover and mum was at my house for a drink 😂

There is an increasing number of single parent fathers raising children, it’s very sad to think their children might never have friends round or sleepovers due to fear of abuse. Like most parents, I would want to know an other parent pretty well before letting my young child spend time anywhere without me and in that time would have made a view about encouraging or discouraging this friendship regardless of the gender of the parent.

If you do look at statistics, it's the majority of people they DO know well the problem...

There was a thread some time ago about a poster outraged/horrified/ disgusted/ in tears because her daughter was driven back home from a babysitting evening by the HUSBAND.

Ridiculous, no doubt about it.

Get a grip, unless it’s too late for you.

Yes if I felt it was a nice family like you say. If I thought it was a lager swigging bloke watching footie and a teenage boy vaping and swearing, probably not. Your call really, depends on your level of trust but generally yes I’d be ok with someone’s dad!

Goady posts like this really irritate me.

Can’t say it’s come up as we haven’t had any single dad friends tbh.

However I must admit and not because I think my dh or ds are about to start abusing girls in my home I’ve never stepped out to the shop or something if we have friends of dd’s around.

I just imagine they are more comfortable with a women and more likely to come to a women again if there is an issue. Thinking back to my own childhood play dates and sleepovers. Dad might have been there with a brief hi and a wave but we didn’t interact with the dads or brothers it was always the mums as the one. Be it a drink or wanting to call a parent homesick.

I would and have (I have a son, 11).

As long as I knew the family, it wouldn't bother me.
I wouldn't let him go somewhere where I didn't know the parents well, and that would be the same for a mum or a dad.

No. They won't. And to be honest a child wouldn't be welcome to play here if you told my husband and son that.

My best mate at school’s dad was a single parent (in the 90s). We had all our sleepovers at his from age 10 because he was pretty chill about night time noise (he slept through it all) and had an extension room that was big enough for six girls to sleep in in sleeping bags (as it was south London and the rest of us lived in tiny houses or flats). I’m so glad none of our parents thought it was weird as we had the best of times in that house.

he's still alive, it’s always nice to see him when I’m in their area.