Differences between Brits and Americans

[Opull]

Dh and I moved to the US for his work post brexit.
I knew there would be differences but I would say that I have come to learn that those differences are far more pronounced than I had anticipated. And in ways I had never imagined or predicted. We moved to Connecticut. Its only as I have come back to the UK has it really got me thinking.

Im curious if you have experience of both cultures. And what less obvious things did you pick up on.

One that stands out for me is that in general discussions and debates are often shut down very quickly. Even over low stake issues. I remember pointing out something very obvious once and the people around me just started playing dumb. In the UK I would have no problem talking about middle aged women and how our sex lives become more comfortable and less exciting. The Americans kept trying to make out that this wasn’t necessarily the case for everyone. I guess it stems from Americans being quite optimistic and Brits being more on the cynical side. I just found it meant conversations and connections could never really go beyond a superficial level. I missed group bonding by sharing the less perfect aspects of our lives.

Has anyone else had similar less obvious observations?

Yeah, I was married for 20 years sex was never boring in our relationship. Nor was it infrequent. I'll raise my hands that I'm optimistic, but that's lived experience.

I would have to disagree The US is a very religious country and yes I would agree puritanical in many ways.

Am wondering where you are in US?

Unfortunately their president has allied the country with Russia against Europe and Canada, so small differences are very soon going to be irrelevant.

the differences that people have experienced are the point of the thread
so 🤷‍♀️

Where on earth were you? The Midwest is generally understood to be populated by kind, polite people. I've lived in the Midwest for 40 years and have never in my life heard of someone being insulted for being educated. Something like 70% of the residents if the Midwest attend some kind of higher education. It doesn't make any sense that they'd insult you for being educated when most of us are educated ourselves.

I'm sorry I touched a nerve. I can only speak for my experience not yours

I was in Nebraska

Their humour is totally different. My American ILs are forever sharing 'hilarious' comedy clips, which I don't find funny at all. But it's the same thing the other way
I'm pretty sure my American FIL things I'm an alcoholic because I'll have a glass of wine in the evening 😆
On a similar vein, kids and alcohol absolutely do not mix. You can't take a kid into a liquor store. Winter events will serve hot cocoa, not mulled wine.
Families are much bigger, it's not uncommon to see four or six kids.
Wages are way higher, taxes are incredibly low.
The people that work and/or study hard, and earn lots, are celebrated.
Finally, I've noted that Americans are proud to be American. Good for them! I wish we were more proud.

Exactly 50 states and 330 plus millions people and all states are different.

I agree and find that the British have an obsession with America and how they are ( in their mind) much better.

I've seen both sides, and I'm looking at both from another angle (Ireland).

As an Irish person, the US is a far more welcoming place. British people have a hard time placing me. Americans don't do the placing thing.

Living in the midwest, in a very blue city and state, seems like living in a different country from the likes of Oklahoma. In many respects it is.

There are lots of churches and synagogues in the area where I live, but I can't think of a single one that isn't liberal and very much focused on social justice. A coalition of different local congregations came together to address the needs of the migrants who were put on buses and transported here from Texas over the last few years.

Some elements of life that stand out:
Neighbours take in packages for each other, loan garden and diy tools, shovel snow for each other, take an active interest in each other's children and teens, organise block parties, pot lucks, neighbourhood progressive dinners, take care of each other's children in an emergency. People sit out in front of their houses and chat. Hallowe'en is a hugely fun event. People are polite and courteous. Nobody minds a neighbour barbequeing or children hopping a backyard fence to retrieve a ball. Teens do not wander the streets causing mischief.

You might not panic about forgetting to lock your door at night. Children's toys can remain strewn over front lawns all night and will still be there in the morning. Steel shutters over shop and restaurant windows after business hours are not a thing. There is little or no graffiti. There are no walls or fences separating front gardens.
Police come when called and take crime seriously.

Civic pride:
People pay property taxes to support local parks and pools, schools, public libraries, health department, and various social services. There is a bit of grumbling, but there is at the same time the acceptance that good schools, public amenities, and public services cost money and if you value the amenities that make a community good for everyone who lives in it - and people do - you put your hand in your pocket and pay for it.

Abundance mindset as opposed to scarcity mindset.
Buoyant attitude.
Willingness to try new activities, new foods, adopt new phrases.
As a PP remarked, shit gets done at work.
Can do attitude to extremes of weather - they set fire to the rails here to keep trains running during polar blasts.
Volunteering is an important part of the culture, and fundraising for various causes is not left to bigwigs.

I think this is thanks to the media. Most big films made in America - American hero - usually a British or Russian or middle -eastern villain 🙄

Stereotypes in mainstream tv shows that Brits are only posh or cockney, drink tea til it’s coming out their ears and have comedically grotesque dental hygiene - ironic as a lot of America is economically poor and the audience of shows such as Jerry springer etc show that not everyone has Hollywood smiles. The Judge Judy production team would pay for temporary dental work for some of the ppl appearing on the show, presumably so they didn’t offend audiences.

Also competitive events and chants of “U-S-A!!!!” add to the perception that a lot of Americans believe themselves superior and are fiercely patriotic. Not all, maybe the loudest, to be fair. And the presence of so many FLAGS, pictoral or actual, everywhere you go and displayed outside ppl’s homes etc.

But the customer service bit, and the passport thing?

Did you use phrases like "I'm sorry I touched a nerve"?
Because passive aggressive remarks are going to rub even the patient people of Nebraska the wrong way.

The British didn't elect a dick as their leader twice, thank goodness. Oh wait, they did.

Now that's out the way, I think the two cultures are very similar.

Canadians are like this too, I used to live there and noticed I began talking more positively too, really miss the optimism, it’s refreshing.

This is not the Midwest …

Dual national, spent 6 years in the states (Los Angeles) for high school and uni, now spending winters in Florida due to dual national partner. The thing that hit me when i went there at 16 was the casual religiosity of people, teh assumption that it is a central part of life. Also, in LA, the multiculturalness of it- there were Mexicans, black Americans, lots of Vietnamese, a big Armenian community... I was an oddity being this weird British kid who'd come from Namibia but they were very kind to me in high school, not like the Mean Girls stereotype at all. I think the individualism and celebration of success in America might stem from their history of European immigration by religious minorities and the Calvinist idea that people who are going to be saved needn't actually do anything to get into heaven, but if they're Chosen then god's favour is likely to show in how well you're doing in life. So it makes a virtue of material success. I'd agree with the people saying that America is a big place and culture varies a lot across states. I remember visiting Nebraska and Wyoming after a few years in LA and being shocked at how parochial it was. Also the prejudice in those states towards native Americans- very odd! There was a lot of looking down on Mexicans too. Definitely a can-do culture though. Here in Florida the debris following the recent hurricanes was cleared up pronto, the state would empty people with equipment from other states ( not necessarily state employees just ordinary people) and it gets done- I couldn't help thinking that in Britain, it would have taken a hear or more to get it done. I am very European though, on balance you can have a freer life in Europe. Which is ironic given the American rhetoric about freedom. Freedom has to mean something beyond the second amendment or the right to insult people in any way you please on twitter. I know people in the States who wouldn't change jobs for years because they'd have lost their 4 weeks holiday a year and gone back to 2 weeks, and they'd have had worse health care. That doesn't look like freedom to me, not being able to change jobs or go off travelling for a while for fear of losing such basic entitlements. Work is king in America. You're expected to open your veins and bleed all over it. I prefer the European view that it's a part of life, but just a part. So I am happy to spend a bit of time here in the US, there are beautiful wild places that we don't have in Britain, but I will remain rooted in Europe.

All I know is it appears not a one of them can pronounce "caramel" "caramelise" or "herb". Bizarre. It's carmel, carmalise and erb according to them . Oh and "baysil" , no idea what's wrong with basil .
But seriously I think all the "Western countries " have way more in common than not and should stop bickering amongst themselves and concentrate on the "non-Western countries".
Here in Australia we have had 3 Chinese warships floating all around our coastline just in international waters for weeks. They also are doing live fire training and only just warned the airlines in time which had to divert.
I know which country I'd want as the superpower ( the orange buffoon can't live forever) , and I think Musk is so smart/crazy that he will do something stupid like those Titan sub people.

I lived in America for 18 years. I think it was long enough to realise that they are just like us, underneath some superficial differences. I found some crazy right-wing uber-religious nutters, yes, but I also found some very sardonic, dry, clever wits. Some PP have said that they found it difficult to get to know Americans on a deeper level, but I did not find that. I think it's true that Americans drink less, but I also knew some right alkies.

People are more serious about exercise, in the Democrat coastal city where I lived. It's a more aggressive culture in general: Up really early, in the gym, conditioned to positively Olympic level, work really hard - less messing about at work, for example. It's a more serious culture. Not so much messing about relaxing in the pub.

And oh boy, do they get up early, even if not in the gym. They all seem to get up at six and it's not at all unusual for people to start work at 7 am. Schools often start at 7.30 am too. So people have lunch at 11.30, go home at 4, and it's lights out at 9. IT'S BIZARRE.

I'm going to make myself quite unpopular now, but I like the Americans much more than the Brits. They're much kinder, much friendlier, much warmer, much less petty, and much less jealous, plus they have very superior social skills.

"puts on tin hat and runs away"

This gives a bad name to Scottish folk and REALLY isn’t the case (I’m Scottish).

I think we make the mistake of assuming Americans are similar in thinking to the UK as we share a language.

I agree, due to the shared language, a lot of crossover on popular films/music etc and as we have been allies for a long time people assume we are the same culturally and seem extra critical when they realise we aren't. Lots of people also don't comprehend how big the US is, and how much can vary state to state as well.

I lived in America for a few years as a teen (south carolina) and then Weho as a young adult for a few; was fortunate enough to travel to most states in this time. I loved it. The one that makes me laugh is the judgement on only x% have passports- Americans have a tonne on their doorstep; some of the most beautiful places on earth, every terrain, most weather systems etc that they could spend their lives exploring the states and find something new every time. Whilst of course plenty do enjoy travelling internationally I don't think it's comparable to someone in our small country not going abroad (even then nothing wrong with that if they don't want to).

Generally found people welcoming, more social, more positive, more likely to help their neighbours and communities, more spontaneous, people seemed more interesting as access to more hobbies and a higher standard of living aside from access to healthcare. Only had a few negative comments about being British, most people were interested and although had some interesting assumptions plenty of brits are the same towards Americans. It was weird seeing guns and ammo in some shops, but never saw a gun or anyone armed beyond police 'in the wild'- some people here assume everyone's packing and seeing people being shot is a daily occurance.

@Balloonney I think the passport thing is stupid as well it’s not comparable.

I knew people that had NEVER left their home state. Now that’s quite similar imo.

Hey @user9876543211 ,

There are no 'L' sounds in the word paella. In Castilian/Español (Spanish), the 'll' phoneme is closer to the sound 'yah'.

The people you've met/ heard use the word may have been more inclined to use or perhaps more frequently exposed to the correct pronunciation, so it wouldn't occur to them to use an anglicanised/bastardised version of the word.

It may be a class issue. And it only makes them look bad if you're judging them by other standards than their own. Culture is relative, and its often a term of endearment. It was originally Frankie Boyles observation. The point is, Americans flip when people swear and its just not a big deal where I am, high school teachers swear at their pupils. It's meant in jest and nobody loses their mind over it.

They’re hardworking -I think fewer benefits available - fewer holidays- but better pay. I don’t know if it’s religion but they seem better dressed. Friendly but if you don’t go to church hard to get close friendship.

We follow their trends (eg trensgenderism, minimalist decor) but think we don’t.
we are highly influenced by their tv shows that come here. And think we are like them but we are actually more like the Europeans. I wish we were more like the Europeans. We seem to have lost our way as a nation - so much division.