Differences between Brits and Americans

[Opull]

Dh and I moved to the US for his work post brexit.
I knew there would be differences but I would say that I have come to learn that those differences are far more pronounced than I had anticipated. And in ways I had never imagined or predicted. We moved to Connecticut. Its only as I have come back to the UK has it really got me thinking.

Im curious if you have experience of both cultures. And what less obvious things did you pick up on.

One that stands out for me is that in general discussions and debates are often shut down very quickly. Even over low stake issues. I remember pointing out something very obvious once and the people around me just started playing dumb. In the UK I would have no problem talking about middle aged women and how our sex lives become more comfortable and less exciting. The Americans kept trying to make out that this wasn’t necessarily the case for everyone. I guess it stems from Americans being quite optimistic and Brits being more on the cynical side. I just found it meant conversations and connections could never really go beyond a superficial level. I missed group bonding by sharing the less perfect aspects of our lives.

Has anyone else had similar less obvious observations?

Yes it is 😆

It’s a Great Plains state. Culturally a bit different.

Can confirm. We think British are European albeit more relatable

Not true. I grew up in east London where it's pretty much a term of endearment, the south isn't homogeneous

I think it's a lot about projecting confidence, which is in my experience something drilled into their heads from a very young age. I went to an American school as a teen and whilst there are advantages to positive thinking the 'why aren't you smiling more' when you're down can be draining. Sometimes however I still catch myself masking problems with a big smile so... old habits die hard.

Birth is much more patriarchal and women seem much more expected to submit to men for regular vaginal exams all their life

We don’t prefer midwives, it seems unprofessional BUT both systems have something to learn from the other tbh

No it isn't. I live in Edinburgh and I don't know anyone who uses that in their everyday chats and certainly not at work. You must mix with some delightful people.

Apartments are smaller in US? Where are you living? I’m guessing New York or similar city I don’t think that’s the norm.

Um, well, ok.

I just wasn't sure why, since you hadn't previously responded to my post about British people pronouncing paella with audible Ls, you said this to me?

I knew what you meant. Unfortunately since Trump was voted in, I will always be wondering whether I’m speaking with a Trump voter. The little differences have become less relevant.

Rabidly not a Trump voter by the way, but a bit confused about what that has to do with pronunciation?

Some people on here are just really odd (and kind of rude, in this American's opinion).

The C word is much more offensive in the US because it's only directed at women, it's the worst thing you can call a woman.

My girlfriends and I would sometimes use it affectionately with each other, as some do in the UK, but at least back then, that was unusual.

We travelled throughout the US and have fsuch a big country, you can’t compare say St Louis with Boston or New York.
we net people who wanted to ask questions, elsewhere no one seemed interest

Sorry- pressed send too early, too many typos…

The Midwest is huge, probably the size of Western and Central Europe? So there are definitely subdivisions, eg Plains states vs Great Lakes

I think of Nebraska as more Plains than Midwest but my geography skews eastward, being from NY

I think if you have a decent professional job & are in good health it's a much better life in USA compared to the UK.

^ Totally agree with this. I only moved to the US a few months ago but my quality of life is so much better here. I was spooked by anti-American attitudes in the UK (with many people trying to talk me out of the move!!) but living here has surpassed all expectations. As I say upthread, I am working for the same company and in the same role as I was in London, but pay is almost double, benefits are much better, and there's an almost embarrassing level of perks due to a huge focus on business development and client service (how much you spend on client entertainment is literally a performance metric where I work). I agree with PP, Americans have an abundance mindset: they spend the money.

I lived in US 30 years, so pretty much my adult life.
It's such a different culture and it's hard to explain.
British people seem to think they understand US more than they actually do. It isn't like the movies, people were much more down to earth where we lived, nothing like the silver screen. Their mindset is different too, lots of mistrust and independent thinking. I remember many years ago thinking they were more like the pioneers who crossed the country in wagons, those are their ancestors and they are who there grandparents and great grandparents were raised by, so the attitude prevails.

CarolinaInTheMorning · Today 02:27

And no child can be forced to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in a public (state) school. Also thanks to the First Amendment.
There have been a few cases, where schools have tried to discipline children for not doing it, but they always lose in court.

As American posters say, States vary hugely. I liked California, particularly San Francisco, but I didn't like LA. SF was more relaxed and people did speak to us when out and about, when they heard English accents.

New York, people seemed brash (not in an uncouth way) and ready to laugh. They seemed very approachable, wanted to know where we were from, what did we think of New York etc.

Working in the Gulf States was when I realised that bring overtly religious is big thing. They were astounded to hear that I am an atheist and I got invited to a LOT of churches!

Lived in New York City so not really America 😏 more like it’s own little country, but the things that stood out for me:
When it snows everyone goes out at 6 am and shovels the bit of sidewalk in from of their own building. If you don’t, especially in a borough like Queens or parts of Brooklyn, your neighbour will do your bit too but they WILL judge you.
WHY don’t we do this here?? I do it in my street but none of my neighbour ever do. It snows everyone year where I live and the pavements become bumpy ice rinks. There very little community spirit left in the uk. Everyone just thinks someone else should sort it.
What else? Half the Americans I knew were well read, listed to public radio, cared about politics.
Half were completely unaware of anything political, and had very little awareness of anywhere outside USA.
In the UK I think there more of a shared culture- BBC News etc but with the atomisation of social media and curating your own media we are probably becoming much more unaware of anything outside our own bubble here.
There’s a huge divide between left and right there and obvs that’s much worse post Trump.
I met a staggering number of people with no healthcare insurance at all. I couldn’t understand how they could be so accepting of the fact that they wouldn’t get treated for most things.
I wish we could import some of the neighbourliness over here though. I really loved that.

Oh, also- if you DO have health insurance it’s expected that as a woman you will have a separate gynaecologist. I LOVED that. Women’s health is a thing. Agree with the medicalisation of birth though.
The hospitals are lovely and clean and you get your own room. Unlike here….!
Of course that’s only if insured.

Re The snow clearing issue

My mum always cleared the snow outside our house but was warned not to in more recent years because the cleared pavement can become more icy and slippery and she could be sued if someone falls. If you dont clear it, you can’t be sued.
Sad isn’t it

Ah well, yes, you gotta clear it, then grit it. 🤓

Yet Americans (mostly on tiktok) will try and say there is no American culture whatsoever and that American states are more different from each other than European countries which is just batshit.

I know the Bay and Valley of northern California fairly well and they drink plenty of wine and beer. Loads of wineries and micro breweries.
I love the positivity, hate the drugs and homelessness.
The biggest difference within the US is coastal vs interior and it's hard to see them as the same country sometimes. And California is a world apart again.

Editing to add that DC has applied to Camp America this year. All her interviews were 10% on the role and the rest about how drinking wasn't going to be possible. It didn't go down to well with some of the other applicants apparently.

American are v v uptight about underage drinking plus the legal age is 21 which seems mad to Brits. I recall a case where a stay at home mum was hailed for 27 months for allowing teens to have beer and wine at a party - she had made them hand over their car keys and sleep over so and was present all night to reduce and risks and she still did time. as they were not driving they were not b young teens. Seems crazy
to us- i'd have defo gotten jail time as I accepted underage drinking was pretty normal

There are quite a few cultural differences even among states within a region (and even within states). Illinois and Nebraska are both in the Midwest, but they are very different culturally. I live in the South. Alabama is very different from Georgia and even more different from North Carolina.

The generalizations on these threads are often mind-boggling to American Mumsnetters and sometimes (please note I said "sometimes") display the kind of narrow-minded parochialism that we Americans are often accused of.

Oh, and we say "erb" because it's a French word. Martha Stewart does always pronounce the "h" though, bless her heart.

The C word is much more offensive in the US because it's only directed at women, it's the worst thing you can call a woman.

True. Its level of offensiveness actually very similar to the "N" word in the US.