Differences between Brits and Americans

[Opull]

Dh and I moved to the US for his work post brexit.
I knew there would be differences but I would say that I have come to learn that those differences are far more pronounced than I had anticipated. And in ways I had never imagined or predicted. We moved to Connecticut. Its only as I have come back to the UK has it really got me thinking.

Im curious if you have experience of both cultures. And what less obvious things did you pick up on.

One that stands out for me is that in general discussions and debates are often shut down very quickly. Even over low stake issues. I remember pointing out something very obvious once and the people around me just started playing dumb. In the UK I would have no problem talking about middle aged women and how our sex lives become more comfortable and less exciting. The Americans kept trying to make out that this wasn’t necessarily the case for everyone. I guess it stems from Americans being quite optimistic and Brits being more on the cynical side. I just found it meant conversations and connections could never really go beyond a superficial level. I missed group bonding by sharing the less perfect aspects of our lives.

Has anyone else had similar less obvious observations?

They’re a lot more bothered about God than the average Brit. That strikes me each time; I sort of block it out of my memory each time and am surprised by it all over again.

The gun thing is weird to us, obviously. Also the attitude to people who are in the military - lots of “thank you for your service”
type stuff which just doesn’t happen from the general public in the U.K..

I found a strong culture of volunteering, which I very much liked. When disaster struck, everyone mucked in rather than expecting the state to intervene as the first step.

I lived in Nevada for a while. Americans are like a different species and I had a massive culture shock. Different humour, outlook, values and some really inconsistent views on things like healthcare and gun control. Very indoctrinated into the American way - don’t dare question their “right to bear arms” 🙄

Moved to the US last year from London. Absolutely loving it so far. Key differences for me:

• much more dynamic workplace. I'm in the same industry / company / role, but things move a lot quicker here. Shit gets done not just talked about.

• people socialise a lot more, and more spontaneously. My group of friends meets 3 to 4 times a week. I was lucky to see friends 3 or 4 times a month in London. Main reason seems to be that apartments are smaller here so people like to be out and about, and everyone has more disposable income because jobs pay much better. People think nothing of spontaneously dropping $250 on theatre & dinner on a random Tuesday.

• much better customer service everywhere, from bars to pharmacies (so not just because of tipping culture)

• better healthcare. I went from GP to urgent care centre to orthopaedic consultant in the space of 2 hours when I injured myself earlier this year. Care has been exceptional at every step. I'm seeing a great therapist who is completely covered by my insurance. I had private health insurance in London but it was a ball ache getting referrals and actually getting to use it. Therapy coverage was also limited (best therapists not covered).

CT is New England.

Really sorry about your sex life though.

And that’s why the British have the most entitled attitudes in the world according to every island, vacation spots in the world

But isn't that why we travel Devianinc - to learn about different cultures, countries etc? I'm not saying UK is brilliant, why aren't they all about us, I was just surprised at their 'listing' attitude. It was single minded everywhere I went.

This supports my theory of the mindset of the newly formed United States which has filtered down through the centuries.

You mentioned them listing their attributes and reeling off their accomplishments etc. I was stunned a decade ago to learn every morning (and perhaps afternoon) American school children up and down the country are made to swear their allegiance to the flag, the flag that it is illegal to desecrate in any way I believe. I’m not sure whether this is still the case now, but I remember thinking at the time how bloody weird and almost fascisty this seeemed. Like something you’d imagine them doing in a country under a dictatorship. But the concept makes sense when you think of how the modern country started out - with loads of separate states and colonies that needed to be united for the whole massive country to function cohesively without constant civil wars. By uniting under one flag and indoctrinating the very young to the idea that they are American first, above all else, and should be proud of it bc they are powerful and the best in all things, it ensures a united front.

The facade of perfection and infallibility has cracked in the last decade or so with cynically calculated wars and invasions etc and the current (twice elected???) president. But the premise still stands, despite more and more states seeking their own sovereignty and passing their own individual laws etc. Thats my take on it anyway.

I have lived in the UK for 25 years and the US for 35 years, born in the US, brought kids up in the UK.

I find English people much harder to get to know, much more eager to put me in a box (what class, what education, what income???). In the US, it doesn't take a long time to feel at home in another person's house, to be on informal terms, to ask favours, to do favours. In England, for the longest time, people thought I had some sort of ulterior motive if I offered a ride or baked them something. English conversations follow certain lines, and stepping out of them is not particularly acceptable.

Maybe on the other hand, it is the people I know, the areas I lived in, the roles I had in those places.

Did you ever think it was possible that the American people you were talking to were right to say that sex becoming boring wasn’t the case for everyone? No? Instead you just put it down to them being optimistic and superficial because you couldn’t see past your own experience.

Just another American bashing thread.

American here. Yes, we are very, very different. Our path with the UK diverged a long time ago. Based on my experiences I think Americans are more optimistic, louder, more open to new people and experiences, less interested in foreigners and foreign countries, more casual, and definitely less inclined to talk about details of our sex lives with people we don't know very, very well. We also don't talk about money with people we don't know very well. I'm constantly amazed at how much MNers know about the finances of their friends, family, and acquaintances.

I think Brits are more polite, more formal, less brash and less optimistic than Americans. And I'm not trying to offend, really, but you think that we think about you a lot more than we do. Most Americans hardly ever think about the rest of the world unless something big happens out there.

Not to say that we don't keep up on world events, we do, but we don't really worry much about what the rest of the world thinks, feels, etc. I guess I'm saying that we're aware, we're just not that influenced. We're too big, too dynamic, and there's always so much going on here in science, tech, the arts, we're always moving, growing, changing in a way that I never saw or maybe just never noticed, when I lived in Europe.

It is legal to burn the American flag. It is free speech protected by the 1st Amendment.

They* have the weirdest ever pronunciation of "twat"

What the hell is that about

*possibly #NotAllAmericans

States have always passed their own laws and each state has its own judiciary and elected representatives in addition to their federal representatives. We may be seeing bigger divisions between states at this polarised moment, but the system hasn't changed.

I've been living in the UK for nearly 20 years and have yet to have a relative stranger discuss their sex life with me. I would say my conversations have the same level of depth or superficiality in both countries, dependent on my relationship with the person I'm having them with.

I stand corrected, sorry

Maybe, but I've yet to meet an American who pronounced the L's in paella.

And children aren’t ‘made to swear their allegiance to the flag’ either. Fuck me, people just make stuff up or state as fact the things they read once on twitter or something.

Thanks. I was aware they have their own representatives and can pass their own laws, I guess I meant as you say the bigger polarising laws that are stark divisions such as abortion etc.

Do you agree with my point that the enshrined patriotism (which is socially discouraged in the U.K., unless it is for a sporting event or concerning the royal family it seems) is connected with the need to ensure a united nation, which is perhaps more crucial due to its sheer size and the separate states it comprises of? I guess it’s a similar scenario to Europe - comprised of many different countries but under one united banner?

And no child can be forced to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in a public (state) school. Also thanks to the First Amendment.

LifeExperience = you've summed up everything I've said and thought. Not sure if that's good or bad. But heck, we all love our own Country and I never really wanted to Country bash. I loved my short time in USA, I got married there. It's the place of dreams...sometimes.

One of the few generalizations on this thread about the US that is generally true. The C-word is considered deeply offensive in the US.

American here, raised by Americans in the uk for most of my life, many family still over there. There is a lot of “bigging up” in American culture, they are not self deprecating like Brits. It’s easy to think they are closer friends that you thought, and when you get too deep with them too fast (because they overdo it with the initial warmth) they get really thrown.

It gets to me when a shop assistant brings things you didn’t ask for, tells you you look great in something that doesn’t, and asks personal questions at the till. They also tend to be early risers, early to eat and earlier to bed.

Most of all I don’t think people realise how deeply ingrained the “freedom TO” culture is in the states. For example the freedom to not wear a mask during Covid vs the “freedom from” not being coughed on. Freedom to own a gun vs freedom of my kids to be safe at school etc. Britain is a “freedom from” place, comparatively.

I perceive Americans as more optimistic, louder, and ambitious (but more likely to be workaholics). They are less comfortable talking about money in my experience. They are more likely to ask you personal questions as a sign of showing interest in someone vs this being seen as nosy or prying. They tend to be more earnest and direct.

American here. It's not illegal to burn a flag, and children are not required to recite the Pledge of Allegiance (I was a former teacher and was never bothered.) On a whole I don't think most people don't want to talk about their troubles with someone we just met. The one that always bugged me was how people in Europe have a hard time grasping how big America is. I lived in Germany when I was younger and it shocked people when I told them that my home state is bigger than their country. I traveled overseas when I was younger but now mostly travel in the States because there is so much I want to see.

Everyone appears to be nice and polite on the surface in the U.K, a little social moan here or there for superficial common ground and chit chat.

As soon as you scratch the surface, you and your whole family and their friends are psychoanalyzed and judged in minute detail

Makes great comedy

The size lends itself to my theory of the importance of uniting the country as a whole. I also apologised for flag reference in previous post and said that I came across the pledge of allegiance in schools a decade ago and wasn’t sure if it still pertained. It is a massive country for sure and is remarkably diverse from state to state - happy travels!