Differences between Brits and Americans

[Opull]

Dh and I moved to the US for his work post brexit.
I knew there would be differences but I would say that I have come to learn that those differences are far more pronounced than I had anticipated. And in ways I had never imagined or predicted. We moved to Connecticut. Its only as I have come back to the UK has it really got me thinking.

Im curious if you have experience of both cultures. And what less obvious things did you pick up on.

One that stands out for me is that in general discussions and debates are often shut down very quickly. Even over low stake issues. I remember pointing out something very obvious once and the people around me just started playing dumb. In the UK I would have no problem talking about middle aged women and how our sex lives become more comfortable and less exciting. The Americans kept trying to make out that this wasn’t necessarily the case for everyone. I guess it stems from Americans being quite optimistic and Brits being more on the cynical side. I just found it meant conversations and connections could never really go beyond a superficial level. I missed group bonding by sharing the less perfect aspects of our lives.

Has anyone else had similar less obvious observations?

dreaming I posted about the amazing concept of having a gynaecologist when I lived in the states. It’s definitely better to have preventative medicine and gynae care is woefully under par in the uk. I was really lucky to have good insurance tho.
The thing is, the NHS can only cover what it can afford to cover (and again I don’t know any British people who don’t understand that the medical care we get, particularly in terms of testing and prevention is restricted by cost. I’m pretty sure most uk people understand this.)
It’s still ethically preferable to profit making insurance companies having a say.
What we actually have in the uk is a National Illness Service. I have accepted that,for now, I’ll pay privately for extra screening/ specialists which I am fortunate to be able to do. This is in no way an ideal system. We’d be much better off with a system more like France and God knows why the uk can’t just copy theirs!?

I think this is one of those things that varies massively across the country (which in itself is not good).

I’ve always had very fast referrals to a specialist for any random twinge or ailment I’ve mentioned to my GP – often when it’s something seemingly minor I thought I just might as well mention while I was there. A slightly muffled ear – straight to an ENT specialist within 6 weeks. A slight twinge in my abdomen – ultrasound investigation with gynaecology within a month. I don’t know how much this is my GP and how much is the area of the country.

Our different education systems play into this also. For American teens it is important that they build their CVs for college applications through extra-curricular activities, volunteering, taking an active part in their communities and so on, so just 'hanging about' is perhaps seen as a wasted opportunity to be doing something more useful.

British universities don't really give a monkey's about extra-curricular (super-curricular, yes, but that's an entirely different thing), so British teenagers, when they are not studying, may not feel the same need to be doing something 'productive' with their spare time.

America also has a lot of kids that get part-time jobs at fast food places, gas stations or grocery stores, some would be as young as 14. This probably keeps them out of trouble and the money really isn’t that bad either. What you might call middle-class kids will be doing this too, it’s almost a rite of passage.

I think kids in the UK do this too tho?!

We all wanted jobs at a cafe in town where they employed lots of teenagers. I remember at 13 going round the shops and market stalls asking if they needed any staff. This would have been late 90s, I guess you’d have called us working class / lower middle class.

My impression is that in the UK more working class kids combine education with part time work than do middle class kids. Just the sense I get though.

Hah. I completely agree, but mention that on here and you'll get a barrage of posts yelling that's only because over diagnosis and unnecessary treatment of insured patients is what keeps US healthcare afloat.

Maybe in the past it was like this? I guess I just don’t see that many high-school age kids working in restaurants or in retail at the moment.

We don't have a system like France, because we will not pay for it. They pay way more than us.

Everyone knows that medical care is limited by money whatever system you are under. It is why people pay for private care in the UK like physio, counsellors, tests. I get physio free at my local GP, but usually one or two sessions with exercises, and a referral for 6 physio sessions if it is something more serious. That is what the NHS will pay for unless you have something very serious - my partner has being seeing an NHS physio for years. So if you want more, you pay yourself.

Similarly you can wait and get a maximum of 8 sessions of counselling under the NHS if you meet the criteria, or you may only meet the criteria for a CBT course. There are weekly therapy groups for a year, but they have very strict criteria and long waiting lists. So most people if they need more pay privately.

No national health system will cover everything.

I get the impression there aren’t as many jobs available and the ones that are have a lot more competition from unemployed adults or those moving from industries with lots of leavers such as care work, etc.

It’s really hard to get a job as a kid now. Very few independent businesses, lots of chains who want total flexibility (nights/ random day shifts). Public transport is a massive issue where I live too- as in there’s very little after 7 pm.

I think it's possible you are right.😀

I'm a bit of an Americanophile. So I do know where most of their major city's are. However, if you consider that the first recorded European who set foot on continental America sailed from Bristol you could expect them to know it (Columbus only made the Caribbean)

I think it's far more common for teenagers to have jobs in the US, at least where I am, than in the UK. When I was a teenager in the UK, I only knew a couple of people in school who had part time jobs, and I don't get the impression that many of my daughter's friends back in the UK work, but here most teenagers seem to have some kind of part time job.

Interesting - I have had the opposite impression because the American teens in my family are all into sports and play them with a real intensity (3x team practices plus weekend matches and often travel) so don't have any time for a job

This is the same for my family. I have three teenage grandchildren who all play sports to a high level. They definitely don't have time to fit in a part-time job. However, they do have friends who don't play sports and have jobs.

My kids worked during the summers when school was out and there were no team sports taking up their time.

My American teen relatives seem to have sport going on all summer long, travelling teams and the like

What sports were they playing when school was not in session?

Basketball and baseball mainly - I also grew up in the US and loads of youth sports ran over the summer. I did a lot of tennis

True.

All of my DCs did babysitting until they were 16 and after that they got jobs with actual paychecks.

DS did umpiring for T-ball two seasons aged 14/15, and did odd job style work when T-ball was over, then shifted to furniture moving for the summer at 17. The DDs did office gofer work from 16 on in summer. A lot of their friends worked for the local park district as lifeguards or day camp counselors. Two of my DDs had PT local retail and restaurant hostess jobs during the school year. The others did a lot of babysitting, right through senior year. They all played middle and high school sports too. There was definitely no time at all for hanging around. When they went off to university they had a lot of references available when they looked for PT work.

It helps to have ten or eleven weeks off for the summer. It also helps to live in an area where there are small businesses and you can easily get to your job on foot or by bike, or by public transport.

Teens mature a lot when they're dealing with difficult people (managers and customers alike) in a cafe or shop or have posts of responsibility at a pool.

Teens don't really have anywhere to loiter in rural areas, which tend to be the poorest parts of the US. Teens loitering in disadvantaged urban areas is definitely a thing. Outside of disadvantaged urban areas - no, you really won't find loitering.

Most Americans live in suburbia or suburban-style parts of cities (cities have defined boundaries in the US), so even a city with a nominally high crime rate is going to see pockets where crime is the norm and wide swathes where life is very peaceful.

You don't have to be wealthy to live in a peaceful neighbourhood. There's a huge difference between most suburban areas and gated communities. About 5% of Americans live in gated communities with the other 95% elsewhere.

In an urban area that includes suburbs close to the city, especially if there is good public transport available, you're likely to find a mix of incomes, with mixed housing available - single-family homes, often ranging from starter types or condos to mansions, or apartments with a range of rents. You will definitely not be cut off from people in different income brackets if you use public transport.

We did have the famous actress that I believe was in the 5os early 60s and her name was Imogene coco so that’s not true, she was on the Sunday entertainment shows. Every city, county and suburb in the us has different name choices and even different dialects. There are many different religions, socio economic backgrounds and a whole other things that are different in the United States. We’re all things not just one thing here. That’s why it’s called a melting pot and it still is.

Now for the really important stuff (😂)...

What do people mean by being invited to a wedding but not the "evening do"?

I've seen this on so many threads! Would that mean going to the actual ceremony but not being invited to the reception afterwards?

That would be very unusual in the US. It would be considered really insulting to be excluded from the reception (actually I don't think I've ever even heard of it).

But all the family squabbles over bridesmaids and childfree weddings appear to be exactly the same😁

I’ve never heard of that, but sometimes people are invited to just the evening part…so not the ceremony or dinner, but to the band and dancing and food served late in the evening.

sometimes people are invited to just the evening part…so not the ceremony or dinner, but to the band and dancing and food served late in the evening

Ah, so there would be a ceremony with dinner following with a whole separate party in the evening; that makes sense.

In the US it's mainly the ceremony with the reception (with food and dancing) immediately following so it would be odd to be invited to one without the other.

I think a big element is that weddings in the UK are during the day - so there is a lot more time. American weddings are much more often in the evenings in my experience