Differences between Brits and Americans

[Opull]

Dh and I moved to the US for his work post brexit.
I knew there would be differences but I would say that I have come to learn that those differences are far more pronounced than I had anticipated. And in ways I had never imagined or predicted. We moved to Connecticut. Its only as I have come back to the UK has it really got me thinking.

Im curious if you have experience of both cultures. And what less obvious things did you pick up on.

One that stands out for me is that in general discussions and debates are often shut down very quickly. Even over low stake issues. I remember pointing out something very obvious once and the people around me just started playing dumb. In the UK I would have no problem talking about middle aged women and how our sex lives become more comfortable and less exciting. The Americans kept trying to make out that this wasn’t necessarily the case for everyone. I guess it stems from Americans being quite optimistic and Brits being more on the cynical side. I just found it meant conversations and connections could never really go beyond a superficial level. I missed group bonding by sharing the less perfect aspects of our lives.

Has anyone else had similar less obvious observations?

I haven't lived in the states (would like to!), but I know a fair few Americans and they all say they enjoy how frank British people are. I think we make the mistake of assuming Americans are similar in thinking to the UK as we share a language.

www.penguin.co.uk/books/435306/if-only-they-didnt-speak-english-by-jon-sopel/9781785942273

I once stayed with an American couple who lived in Knoxville, Tennessee. They owned guns and took me to a shooting range. Was so shocked when, during a conversation about gun ownership, the guy said that it would be like fascism to take their guns away. Their whole approach to guns is incomprehensible to me.

Also how big religion is to them. This was in Atlanta, and everybody went to church. They had as many different churches as we have pubs!

In my experience, Americans are far more puritanical than Brits, so the mere mention of sex was pushing it.

I know very few Americans. The ones I do know are indeed optimistic to the point of it becoming a bit of a barrier. So for example we went out of the day and it hammered with rain, the kids were grumpy and quite a few small but inconvenient things didn’t go to plan. At the end of the day the American kept saying how we’d had so much fun and made lovely memories, totally glossing over all the general crapness. With a british friend I’ve had said “what a bloody disaster let’s never do that again LOL” and it would have felt much more genuine and become something to laugh about in future.

But not all Americans are like that. If they were, SATC would never have been made!

I have an American SIL and when she visited once, she was shocked to see men getting their penises out on Embarrassing Bodies 😂. She said that would not happen over there. But then, you do get some American films/TV shows that are quite revealing (Sex Life).

OP, the Americans you spoke to about midlife sex were right - it’s not the case for everyone and I have to say, I’m in my 40s, been with DH for 19 years, and it’s getting better and better.

Americans REALLY don't like it when they hear the C word, which is pretty much just like a comma to most Scots

I agree with them, it’s gross. But it’s very regional in the U.K. I believe. You couldn’t say it to someone in the south without causing some kind of offence. It’s much more a “vile” word down here than it is further north.

I lived in the US for a while and I agree that it is difficult to get to know people beyond a surface level. People were very friendly, but they weren't willing to complain/moan/discuss things in much depth. It did affect me during my degree there as everyone seemed super committed and confident, whereas I struggled on both counts but there was no one to talk to about it.

SATC is New Yorkers! Not Americans in general, rural Americans are far more puritanical than New Yorkers.

And how did you wind up in house full of guns and you weren’t aware. There are some places in the United States where people live miles and miles apart and you would be better off armed than not.

I have American cousins from Illinois, I find them

• more conservative in their views, particularly of young people
• more political in their views
• less worldy-wise, US is IT for them, no need to travel
• kinder, friendlier,
• weird about the weather

It’s amazing how you Brit’s found the weirdest people in the United States and put that stamp on every body

I have Yank family members and used to work in Texas a lot.

Yet I find that there are pretty vast cultural differences (but also even within both countries there are multiple cultures.)

So let me get this straight, I just met you in a supermarket and I should tell you my story. You earn someone’s trust to talk about your personal matters., you don’t just blurt it out.

All over the world

And maybe you came off not so open so they weren’t feeling it. Maybe it was you

I was intrigued in you post until you stared going on about Middle Aged women and their sex lives then I lost interest.
Middle aged women or men, who cares? Most folk have so it’s no big deal…

I've met quite a few in various countries, my experience of them is that they're very snobby and very confident. Friendly though in a fake way.

Err…yes?

Is that not just American tourists though? They are a breed apart.

This is so interesting bc by European standards we’re not frank at all and are often criticised for not saying what we mean and being too polite/repressed - I’ve never heard it said of Americans - it seems to be a primarily British ‘failing’. But think of the insincere and cliched “Have a nice day, sir!” with plastered grins that have almost crept into British culture from across the pond. There is a lot of fake cheerfulness / politeless/ concern bc it’s all about selling products and services to the consumer.

I think overall despite what a lot of ppl say, including themselves, a lot of mainstream Americans - I’m not talking about the 20 somethings or intellectuals - are fairly conservative. Years ago I read an article about censorship and it said that British ppl are a lot more tolerant about sex and nudity in films, but not violence, and American audiences were the opposite.

Make of that what you will.

Perennial reminder that the US is continent-sized and you simply cannot make generalisations. Actually you shouldn't make them about the UK either!

OP landed in what sounds like the WASPy part of Connecticut, which is far more buttoned up than where I come from. I moved to the UK 20 years ago and found so many people so reserved and hard to know, only finding out later about the North-South divide.

OP maybe people just felt sorry for your unsatisfying sex life. I don't know why you would assume everyone would agree with that!

I know a few Americans who have Mexican heritage and they are absolutely obsessed with Mexican superiority.

American tourists (that I've met) are some of the worst, loud and brash. However, when I visited there, they seemed quieter. yep I know that sounds an odd take of it and it really surprised me. Everyone acts up on holiday, maybe? I hated the 'superciliousness' of the pleasantries, just don't sound genuine. I only travelled through 3 states - USA is bigger than anyone can imagine. The people on the whole were lovely and very welcoming but there was no depth to conversations - it was all ' we've got this, we've got that' without the slightest interest in UK. It left me with a hollow feeling somehow.