Differences between Brits and Americans

[Opull]

Dh and I moved to the US for his work post brexit.
I knew there would be differences but I would say that I have come to learn that those differences are far more pronounced than I had anticipated. And in ways I had never imagined or predicted. We moved to Connecticut. Its only as I have come back to the UK has it really got me thinking.

Im curious if you have experience of both cultures. And what less obvious things did you pick up on.

One that stands out for me is that in general discussions and debates are often shut down very quickly. Even over low stake issues. I remember pointing out something very obvious once and the people around me just started playing dumb. In the UK I would have no problem talking about middle aged women and how our sex lives become more comfortable and less exciting. The Americans kept trying to make out that this wasn’t necessarily the case for everyone. I guess it stems from Americans being quite optimistic and Brits being more on the cynical side. I just found it meant conversations and connections could never really go beyond a superficial level. I missed group bonding by sharing the less perfect aspects of our lives.

Has anyone else had similar less obvious observations?

I know three Americans who live here in the UK. All very different humans with nothing of note to differentiate themselves from a random three Brits. The exception being they all seem slightly bewildered/upset that Brits don't care about Thanksgiving. I get it's a massive deal to them but it really means nothing to any Brit I know. It's the mild lack of comprehension that it's simply not in the British calendar, has never been celebrated and people just aren't excited about it, or particularly interested.

I lived in Oklahoma for a while and the big differences I noticed were

• very heavy on religion. They talk about it openly more and expect others to be involved. They could not fathom why we Brits weren’t in church and the coffee rooms after on a Sunday
• conversation I would say wasn’t that deep, but then we were all in our 20s so perhaps that’s why. They were interested in what living in the uk was like though and especially the Royal family.
• less ambition to explore. None had left the immediate area of Oklahoma state and didn’t seem bothered by that.
• more racism especially against the American Indian indigenous population. There were reserves in Oklahoma and they couldn’t even find jobs, no one would employ them. One American Indian ( mixed race) was studying at the Uni with us and no one talked to him! Just us and he seemed surprised we would….I really couldn’t understand that level of open racism.
• they never had any actual food in their cupboards except potatoes chips. They ate out all the time. Dollar pizza bars and penny beer was the go to, I never met anyone that actually cooked and when we invited them to Sunday lunch they had no idea what that meant….I suppose it may just be a Brit thing.
• they drove everywhere
• they really didn’t understand sarcasm
• they felt a greater need to conform to a standard image of acceptability (although I do now see that a lot here in the UK as well) I also found them more reserved in their attitudes but this may be due to their religious beliefs.
• their laws of jaywalking, drinking etc were taken very seriously. They seemed more scared of the police than I see over here.
• they really love British accents! 😁

Apart from their dismissal of the American Indians nothing else is a criticism, just an observation as we all grow up differently
I was there in the 90s

It harks back to early colonists and the Indigenous population in America celebrating a harvest feast. I wonder why they think we would celebrate it.

Good god, bizarre. Did they celebrate Bonfire night back home perchance?

The historical culture that they are the no1 superpower who saved Europe twice in WW1 and 2…?etc. The scales seem to be falling from the eyes of the younger generation tho

Really?

I'm a Mexican-American from Texas. All four of my grandparents were Mexican citizens, as well as my father and I grew up on the Texas border with Mexico. My house was literally two miles away from the international bridge.

I have a huge extended family and not a single one of them or myself would say that we are obsessed with Mexican superiority. I would say that we are indeed very proud of having Mexican heritage, speak Spanish but are equally happy to be American citizens as well.

I will say that many of my family members including myself, have been told for most of our lives that we are not American enough for a certain sector of American people. I can't tell you how many times I have personally been told to "go back to where you come from" which is indeed silly as I am already there. Besides, most of the land in the western US was Mexican so...

I suppose that may be the reason the Mexican heritage people you've encountered do feel more at home identifying as Mexican.

I’m a bit confused by that but it is late.

Ps … some countries outside of the UK do celebrate bonfire night. New Zealand, SAfrica etc. Those with still or had in the past a large Brit population.

I think the French and many other European countries would disagree from forums I’ve read. A lot hate the Brits, but they sneer over the ‘typical’ American tourist way more it seems

@Stirabout
I was in the Mid West for a while and can see a lot of what you are saying. However the accent thing, absolutely not. Management got called in every retail and hospitality interaction where my ID was demanded because I'd claimed to be English and I couldn't possibly be British in any way shape or form. It lead to me having to carry my passport as well as DL and at least 30 minutes extra added onto any visit.

Also found everything became a difficult conversation because I was always wrong or needed correcting in my wrong headed thinking and needed a lecture to scour me of any residual Britishness. It was amusing at first but then really tiresome because it wasn't a joke. I shoot and own weapons but was categorically told a number of times by different people that it is illegal in the UK to own any firearm and was a liar. Saying Guinevere wasn't a real queen was tantamount to treason.

I was accused of being educated, first time it happened I said thanks and took it as a compliment. The manager pulled me aside and asked me to just not say anything because they meant it as an insult. It was an unpleasant experience but I know people are people everywhere and many good kind decent Americans exist as well as the bullies and braggards.

I have worked with many Americans both here and in the US. I like the optimism, I did make friends, but I don't ever want to live in the Mid West again.

I agree. Very generally speaking of course, but I think Brits have a lot more in common with Australians than with US Americans in terms of how we interact with one another. I think it's why Australian versions of reality TV series have taken off in the UK more than their US equivalents, because people can relate.

I despise the idea of gun ownership, but I would also hate to not be armed if I thought for a second that everyone was.

I love these sorts of threads lol

People will say Americans are hard to get to know beyond the superficial and I think it’s true to some extent. I think it’s one of those strange outcomes when you live in a hyper-mobile country. What’s the point of really getting to know people? They’ll just move on anyway.

One of the downsides of American life tbh

I find it strange that so many American Christians are very vocal about their religious beliefs. In may places, such as the UK, religion is an entirely private matter.

Oo a bit of a different experience then and sad to here.
I wonder what sort of a British accent do you have.
I’m told mine is husky and ‘posh’ ( I really hate that word though ), even though it’s correct.

Passport wise. I agree about carrying it everywhere ( or just glueing it to my forehead would have been easier ) but that’s because I looked young for my age so I needed it in bars to buy a drink with the 21 age limit😳

In terms of being accused of being educated….well i was doing a postgrad at the Uni and we were in Norman, the town of Oklahoma Uni so most people were educated anyway. That sort of critisism would have been weird and I find very odd but then I’ve had that here in the UK. Comments like why bother going to Uni when you can earn more without……..🤯.

@MarkingBad said
However the accent thing, absolutely not. Management got called in every retail and hospitality interaction where my ID was demanded because I'd claimed to be English and I couldn't possibly be British in any way shape or form.

I don’t understand. Would you kindly explain, please? Why couldn’t you be British or English? What did they expect British people to be like, that you weren’t?

Edit- perhaps they expected English people only to talk like HM the Queen, or Cockney?

The thing is most people really aren’t that mobile.
Most stick to what and where they know, particularly if like most Americans you don’t live in one of the big cities
Everywhere may be joined but people don’t jump on planes or in their cars for huge journeys as much as some might think.

Certainly no reason for Americans to expect it to be observed in the UK but Thanksgiving actually does have British antecedents. It’s based on English church Thankgivings for a good harvest.

I have a mixed accent so it's nothing like you'd hear on films but I've worked with lots of nationalities and only in the US did no one believe I was British.

Fortunately I don't take much to heart so I just muddled along and tried to keep my head down til I could get out of there.
😄

I wish I could understand what happened to you.

Guinevere?

Actually most Americans do not own guns. A majority don't, and a lot that do just own rifles for hunting. Not everyone here is carrying around an assault rifle. (Not minimizing our gun problem, but it can be overblown.)

I don't know, it wasn't encouraged to be curious about why anybody thought anything. It could be just as you say.

Plain old prejudice. It's just a human thing.

Guinevere was supposedly king Arthur's wife on the legends. It was just a small recollection of a bizarre convo I should never have joined in 😄

The fact that gun laws, religion and abortion are major issues in US elections, but not at all in the UK.

It was viewed by people all over the country, not just in NY, though. If it had only been watched by people in New York it would have been all that successful.

I think talking about puritanism in the US is a bit like talking about sectarianism in the UK. Still present, but certainly not like it used to be.