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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this was really spiteful

289 replies

Stopbeingsomean · 27/01/2025 22:30

I work as a TA in a primary school and something happened today that made me really sad.

I was working with a group of ten children, split between three adults. We were working on subtraction with this particular group who really struggle with maths.

I heard the other TA tell a child she had done very well. The little girl was really proud of herself and had a huge smile on her face and asked “Am I going to get a sticker Miss?” The TA looked very sternly at her and said “Katie, stickers are given out at my discretion. I decide when to give them. I was actually going to give you one, but as you have asked, unfortunately I am not going to give you one now” Honestly she looked devastated. She’s 7 years old.

AIBU to think this was really spiteful?

YABU - She should not have asked.

YANBU - She deserved a sticker

OP posts:
Darkmorningsarethepits · 27/01/2025 22:56

I would raise that with the head/manager

Feels like an adult on a power trip which is rubbish when working with kids but particularly awful in a small group situation for kids with SEN.

Horrible and has made me sad to read.

Morecoffeeforme · 27/01/2025 22:56

What a bitch. Can you report her to the head?

And please give the girl a sticker

Morecoffeeforme · 27/01/2025 22:56

This has made me both sad and angry

Onekidnoclue · 27/01/2025 22:57

She’s punishing the girl for asking for something she’s entitled to!!! What a miserable cow.

joyouslady · 27/01/2025 22:59

What a bitch!

Augarden · 27/01/2025 23:01

Why are people like this with little children, I really don't get it!

Barney16 · 27/01/2025 23:01

What a meanie. I hope no one ever gives her a good work sticker.

ThatsNotMyTeen · 27/01/2025 23:01

Mean

Original poster
Stopbeingsomean · 27/01/2025 23:02

Quinlan · 27/01/2025 22:49

I’d be discussing that with her manager. This is a little girl who probably doesn’t get many stickers for maths, she worked really hard, she did well and felt so happy for herself that she was excited she might get a sticker… and she is 7! Of course she said it out loud. That TA shouldn’t be a TA. Having a power trip over a 7 year old.

I’ve told my manager twice about the way she speaks to the kids but unfortunately they don’t give a shit as long as there’s a body teaching.

Last week I heard her saying “Well! From what you’ve just done I can tell you do not know your tables. You should be on at least your 5’s by now. I will be speaking to your teacher about you” She also said “Tell me why you went to fetch glue? Did I ask for glue? No! I did not! Now get on with your work”

OP posts:
Morecoffeeforme · 27/01/2025 23:03

I wonder if you could find a way to tell the girls parents.

if this was my child I’d want to know and I would be raising bloody hell with the head

Original poster
Stopbeingsomean · 27/01/2025 23:04

Morecoffeeforme · 27/01/2025 22:56

What a bitch. Can you report her to the head?

And please give the girl a sticker

Spoken about her twice now but no joy. Also a teacher who was kicking children with her foot when they were sitting on the floor and she wanted them to move back. No joy there either!

OP posts:
gingerandsmall · 27/01/2025 23:05

Does your school do low-level concern reporting? If so, this type of behaviour is exactly what that system was made for and I'd submit one to your head about the incident.

Original poster
Stopbeingsomean · 27/01/2025 23:06

gingerandsmall · 27/01/2025 23:05

Does your school do low-level concern reporting? If so, this type of behaviour is exactly what that system was made for and I'd submit one to your head about the incident.

I can promise you it is pointless. No one cares.

OP posts:
3peassuit · 27/01/2025 23:06

Plain nasty. It’s people like that who turn children off learning. I’d take it higher if the manager won’t do anything.

CeceliaImrie · 27/01/2025 23:06

YANBU. Poor little thing, she'll remember it at that age as well.

JSMill · 27/01/2025 23:06

I don't like stickers etc but the TA works in that environment so she needs to suck it up. Her response was really not on.

Cornishclio · 27/01/2025 23:06

Yes that is spiteful and unnecessary. It is just a sticker FGS.

PleaseStopEatingMyStuff · 27/01/2025 23:06

Well she sounds like a right knob.

Doloresparton · 27/01/2025 23:08

I'd give the child a sticker tomorrow.
If the TA says anything tell her to complain to the useless head who doesn’t care anyway.

Original poster
Stopbeingsomean · 27/01/2025 23:11

JSMill · 27/01/2025 23:06

I don't like stickers etc but the TA works in that environment so she needs to suck it up. Her response was really not on.

I agree as tbh I often lose them and then can’t give them out so tend not to give them, but I big them up massively. Even if they only get one question right or even none. If they are listening and trying I really heap praise on them, tell them I’m proud of them, write nice comments in their books.

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 27/01/2025 23:12

It’s not spiteful, it’s consistency. You can’t give rewards to every kid who asks for one, they should all know that . They get given one when an adult thinks they deserve one. Otherwise you get the bolder ones asking all the time and the shy ones not putting g themselves forward.
Thats not to say any reward system comes without problems, and you often get the situation where eg ‘ star of the week’ is not in fact given on the basis of merit, but on the basis of whose turn it is on the rota. It’s all a bit of a nonsense, and as you can see, even the giving out of stickers can cause problems.

Original poster
Stopbeingsomean · 27/01/2025 23:13

Doloresparton · 27/01/2025 23:08

I'd give the child a sticker tomorrow.
If the TA says anything tell her to complain to the useless head who doesn’t care anyway.

Love this! I’m actually going to go to her class first thing and give her two!!

OP posts:
SparklingSpa · 27/01/2025 23:13

Sounds like the woman is some sort of sticker power trip.

Paperthin · 27/01/2025 23:13

Vaxtable · 27/01/2025 22:54

That’s nasty. I still remember 50 odd years ago when I got 10 out of 10 for a test, I was so pleased. I made the mistake of tracing pencil over the 10, no idea why I was 7.

The teacher saw and immediately crossed it out and gave me a zero. I hated that teacher and her lessons from then on and just stopped working in her lessons.

That sort of thing really discouraged kids, and as you say is spiteful

I too remember a teacher being spiteful to me when I was about 7 - I’m in my 50s and I still remember. Really hit my confidence and self esteem.

BruceyBaby · 27/01/2025 23:14

Spiteful, yes! Something pretty similar happened to me around 50 years ago (wow - can't believe it was that long) but I've never forgotten it. I can picture my young 5 year old self right now and the room I was in and that feeling I experienced. I was crestfallen and devastated.

That was unnecessarily mean behaviour by your colleague.

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