To think this was really spiteful

[Stopbeingsomean]

I work as a TA in a primary school and something happened today that made me really sad.

I was working with a group of ten children, split between three adults. We were working on subtraction with this particular group who really struggle with maths.

I heard the other TA tell a child she had done very well. The little girl was really proud of herself and had a huge smile on her face and asked “Am I going to get a sticker Miss?” The TA looked very sternly at her and said “Katie, stickers are given out at my discretion. I decide when to give them. I was actually going to give you one, but as you have asked, unfortunately I am not going to give you one now” Honestly she looked devastated. She’s 7 years old.

AIBU to think this was really spiteful?

YABU - She should not have asked.

YANBU - She deserved a sticker

This type of thing is what I would have encountered in the 60s , I thought schools had moved on from this spiteful type of teaching.

I am just so appalled at some of the qualified "teachers" replying here. The OP has clearly seen unprofessional behaviour and is concerned yet some of the teachers here appear to be condoning it from a TA and presumably other fellow teachers. Please do us all a favour and retire from teaching ASAP. It takes a special kind of person who can impart knowledge to young minds and embolden them to question and learn and take their place in the world. It seems many PGCE and TA are not able to do so and I am deeply saddened. I also appreciate the added administration burden that teachers/TAs have nowadays and long hours.

I'm sure many of us remember at least one of our teachers, either because of their encouragement or their abusive behaviour. I thank Mr Hope and Miss Moray for their fairness, enthusiasm and empathy. Who do you remember?

No she was right children begging for a sticker because they’ve done something correct is how brats are moulded

Please define begging?

I read it as asking!

Being unkind to children and not championing their achievements is how children feel unheard.

It’s not 1920, when children were seen and not heard.

Asking if what you've done is sufficient for the available reward is not begging! How is the kid to know otherwise when its a reward that is given for a wide variety of achievements which will vary child by child?

The answer could have been 'yes, thats great well done' or 'you're nearly there, just do that again/do a bit more... ' both of which would have let her know what was expected and whether she'd achieved her target and what to do if not.

I’d report this to the teacher.

How petty! Anyone being that hopeful about a sticker would have me going to get one of my SPECIAL stickers from my cupboard.

Nasty woman.
Poor little girl.

"Of course you get a sticker!" would have been the correct response

What a mean bitch.

Report this asshole to the head. What a dick trick

I have worked in education for 30 years (adult and primary). My worst experience was working as a TA. I was treated as a second class citizen by SLT and some of the teachers, the children were lovely (though very challenging and lots of deprivation). I only lasted about 18 months as the grief was just not worth the measly wage- it was actually less than my mum paid her cleaner!

Is your school due for an ofsted any time soon?

My sister, who is a teacher with a master’s degree, told me something I never forgot. She said, there are certain negative personalities drawn to teaching, the same as to the police. People who want unearned respect and power over others. Kids have to listen to teachers who give lessons and lectures without preparation or planning, etc.

Obviously, there are many, many wonderful teachers who do a great job, work hard and care about the children. But, it’s niave to think every teacher is a saint. Teachers unions and a near monopoly by state education make it difficult for parents to vote with their feet and constrain these bad actors.

I sincerely hope you do not work with children if this is your attitude.