Nearly 50 and feel totally exhausted and overwhelmed with life, is this all there is?

[Summerhopesanddreams]

I’m approaching 50 and have worked full time all my life. My children are grown up and have left home but I feel like life never gets any easier.

A typical day is get up early for work, feed the dogs, do a few small jobs around the house, get ready and travel to work.

Spend a full day at work in job that I neither like or dislike, it’s just a job but I need to work financially. Part time isn’t an option, I’m on my own with no entitlement to any benefits as income just above minimum wage.

Travel home, take the dogs for a walk, feed the dogs, hoover up, cleaning, put a wash on and more jobs around the house and garden, life admin such as answering emails, paying bills, online shopping.

Go to bed exhausted and start again the next day.

There is no enjoyment in life and I regularly wonder if things will ever get any better. Is this a common theme these days, anyone else feel the same?

Thanks Heronwing

I'm 65 and feel the same, husband has cancer and i barely go out, I work from home to be with him. I've no family nearby, except sister 250 miles away, no children, but two lovely dogs! Two cats as well. Spend all my days either working in my home office and the rest cleaning, cooking, endless laundry, and hospital appointments. I literally have no life of my own. We used to have a great life, travelling for holidays and for work, weekends outdoors, cycling, kayaking and camping. All finished after DH diagnosis and now continuing treatment. I'm sure he suffers more than me with loss of his former life and enforced retirement.
Now there's no break from the tedium, months fly by with no joy. Sometimes feel life is not worth living to be honest. Actually my dogs are a very welcome distraction from feeling so low.
I think if anyone knew how depressed I am I'd be pressured to take meds.

I am on my own form of treadmill too. I think the Cost of living and post Covid has a lot to answer for. The only thing is we must smell the flowers along the way because like you I have lost friends a shocking amount of friends just as I was honing being an introvert homebody life gave me a shake. Some of them were I thought doing better at life than me. More talented or beautiful and then they sadly passed away tragically you learn that life wasn’t what you thought it was. We don’t judge ourselves by the internal physical and mental health but living does it literally effects your lifespan.
I bet we could all do life swaps just for a break in the routine. Looking after dogs single handed is hard work OP and its your family but as my mother once said
“ I am not picking up anyones shit anymore” 😂
So much loved but irreplaceable once they pass maybe the right philosophy.

I moved countries at 47. I moved with DH but I know two other single women similar ages who have done the same. They have rented out their properties and have embraced the adventure for a couple of years. Best thing I've done

What happens when one of you gets a serious illness/dies or needs help - in many/most countries there is no such thing as ‘social care’ and many can’t move back because they have been entirely priced out of the market, or there is no one to come back to as everyone drifted off over the years. Travelling and living overseas is all well and good until something goes majorly wrong.

I worked overseas and saw this time and again. People never think it will happen to them, they don’t plan for the worst case scenario.

That’s not to say op shouldn’t consider her options, but one of the biggest protectors in old age is deep and meaningful friendships and community links.

@Yogaatsunrise
It's not forever, an adventure for now. We are both good health and own homes in the UK and Dubai. We have good medical

We have provisions in place for family and our future.

Definitely get yourself checked for peri menopause and menopause and bloods etc. lethargy is a big sign of oestrogen lowering etc. so you may wish to consider HRT. I know many ladies who were exhausted and now they feel great.

Get in contact with your friends and arrange some activities or pub visits.

Think about a new hobby.

Don't clean every day. Leave a couple of days of no cleaning and plan a hobby in.

If tiredness continues have a look at a different role with slightly less hours?

I was thinking more along the lines of deep local friendships. My groups of friends are a complete life line - we have great nights out, there for each other through thick and thin. It’s these kinds of relationships that you carry into old age that really matter.

I lived overseas for years and you lose that connection, a few might last if you are lucky. As we age it’s not easy to pick up life long friendships. We have known each other for decades and seen all of the children grow up. It’s really special. Op can pick up her old friendships and enjoy those bonds again.

Hi, at around your age I made a New Year Resolution to “get a life”. I decided to do something new as often as I could. Cheap - eat an oyster. Challenging - climb a mountain. I didn’t plan it out in advance. I saw a tiny article in the local paper announcing “Singing for the Terrified”. It was for those who’d been told to “stand the back & mime”. 20 years later, I still see it as medicinal. Never eaten another oyster nor climbed another mountain though.

I love this!!! Singing for the terrified especially 😂

The thing that made a massive difference to me was yoga. There are many videos on you tube that you can do at home and for free. Kassandra and Adrienne are 2 to look for both I think very good.
Hope you find some joy.

You are missing friendship I think so that's the thing to address. Reach out to old friends and look for activities that help you form new ones. So you can have the laughter, chats, company that friendship brings.