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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not be fussed about shaven legs and swimming

311 replies

ArchesOfWisteria · 26/01/2025 15:32

In my mid 40s I have lost the urge to remove body hair much, particularly in winter. If anything I find it’s better for my skin, no rashes or bumps under my arms, less sweating under my arms. Easier with sensitive skin.

I kind of presumed that no one cares that much- I certainly don’t care if other people have a preference to wax completely or not shave at all.

I went swimming with an acquaintance and she seemed shocked, a bit horrified even, at my legs. I stated I am comfortable, made a light joke my husband is supportive. But she brought it up again like it’s a big deal. ‘Especially as you are so fair skinned with black hair’ was her last comment (I am, not particularly super hair, average but with black hair).

Are other women actually bothered about shaving when it comes to others? Do you notice? I don’t in the pool! Obviously we all have our personal preferences for our own bodies, but does this for extend to being in anyway affronted by what another woman does. She stated hers is the typical view, but I may have more ‘European’ standards.

For context, if anyone askes, I’m quite average in most ways. Healthy weight, clean hair and clothing etc.

yanbu- I’m not really that bothered about what others do, as long as I can exercise my own personal freedom without comment

yabu- I think it’s a bit yucky on others and I do judge natural body hair in the pool

OP posts:
Freshflower · 26/01/2025 15:43

Each to there own. If you are comfortable going to the pool without shaving , who cares what anyone thinks. Personally I don't like the look of hair on my legs or under my arms at ths pool so would always shave but wouldn't care if anyone else did

Hobbio · 26/01/2025 15:45

In my early 30s and agree with you
If I see another woman with hairy legs/arms at the pool, I think "good for you, also not giving a shit about others shallow opinions"

MyProudHare · 26/01/2025 15:45

See, I was brought up with these same double standards... is anyone judging men for having hairy legs? No.

I'm nearly 40 and I do what I like with my body hair now. It's a shame that so many women are still shackled by this. By all means shaving is fine if you want to, but you shouldn't be shamed for not.

InWithThePlums · 26/01/2025 15:46

That was rude of her.

Peoplearebloodyidiots · 26/01/2025 15:48

Good on you op. Your acquaintance is clearly insecure and projecting her insecurities onto you. Ignore her and you do you.

Candlesandmatches · 26/01/2025 15:48

I shave legs in the summer. Not in the winter. I can see my leg hair but I really don’t care.
DH not bothered either.

MrsSethGecko · 26/01/2025 15:50

I don't shave anything.

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 26/01/2025 15:52

It's patriarchal nonsense than women can't have unshaven legs. Do what you want and not what you feel you have to do with your own body.

BeachRide · 26/01/2025 15:53

You just reminded me of this Smack the Pony sketch:

🤣

RitaFromThePitCanteen · 26/01/2025 15:54

YANBU. No one's stopping your friend from shaving if she prefers it. We as women already have so many unreasonable pressures and expectations pushed on us, it's sad that some women want so desperately want keep them all, let alone push them on other women.

We should have freedom to do what we want with our bodies and appearance (within reason, obviously keeping up with personal hygiene is the polite thing to do, but as society already seems to understand when it comes to men, you can be clean and have body hair).

lanthanum · 26/01/2025 15:54

I don't think I've shaved anything since my 20s.

Women shaving was an idea brought in by Gillette because they wanted a new market for their products.

BobbyBiscuits · 26/01/2025 15:56

I would hope it wouldn't raise an eyebrow. But I think some people are really disgusted with bodily hair. Even on men. I would probably wear swim leggings if I didn't fancy shaving tbh. Not that you should have to.

BoldBlueZebra · 26/01/2025 15:56

Honestly do what makes you happy life is just far too short

Changingname1988 · 26/01/2025 16:00

BobbyBiscuits · 26/01/2025 15:56

I would hope it wouldn't raise an eyebrow. But I think some people are really disgusted with bodily hair. Even on men. I would probably wear swim leggings if I didn't fancy shaving tbh. Not that you should have to.

I’ve never heard of/seen swimming leggings before, but they sound amazing! I hate having to rearrange myself in my swimming cossie to get out the pool etc. Off to Google…

Coconutter24 · 26/01/2025 16:03

I would never go swimming with unshaven legs but I wouldn’t judge someone who did go with hairy legs. I wouldn’t think anything of it. I’d notice it but I wouldn’t judge someone or have any further thoughts on it

dizzydizzydizzy · 26/01/2025 16:04

I work at a pool. Some women shave their legs and some don't. Most men don't. I agree with PP that your friend was rude.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 26/01/2025 16:04

Regarding your own body, nobody else's opinion matters EVER...

AgathaX · 26/01/2025 16:10

I swim regularly. I have hair free legs in summer but not that often in winter. My hair is sparse and fair though, so not obvious. At least that's what I tell myself. It wouldn't occur to me to look at other women's legs, much less judge them for their choices.
Women. We are our own worst enemies.

Pigeonqueen · 26/01/2025 16:13

I am exactly the same as you. Mid 40s, shaving hurts my skin and I can’t be bothered with it anymore. Your friend was so rude.

soccermum10 · 26/01/2025 16:16

I do notice - yes. But I think good on her! Wish I had the guts

Waitingfordoggo · 26/01/2025 16:16

Your friend sounds easily shocked 😂 I don't like shaving or waxing. I do notice if other women haven't shaved but in a 'good for you' way rather than any sort of disgust.

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 16:24

Sorry im going to be that person i wouldn't do it and I would say something to the person I'm with, purely because I'd be quite shocked but shaving to me is like brushing your teeth or flushing the toilet it's just something you do

Spanielsaremad · 26/01/2025 16:27

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 16:24

Sorry im going to be that person i wouldn't do it and I would say something to the person I'm with, purely because I'd be quite shocked but shaving to me is like brushing your teeth or flushing the toilet it's just something you do

Edited

I agree tbh.

imisscashmere · 26/01/2025 16:27

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 16:24

Sorry im going to be that person i wouldn't do it and I would say something to the person I'm with, purely because I'd be quite shocked but shaving to me is like brushing your teeth or flushing the toilet it's just something you do

Edited

Would you say something to a man?

Why is okay for a man to have hair on his legs but not a woman?

napody · 26/01/2025 16:28

InWithThePlums · 26/01/2025 15:46

That was rude of her.

Very! Especially 'stating hers was the typical view'... really trying to shame you for it.

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