To not be fussed about shaven legs and swimming

[ArchesOfWisteria]

In my mid 40s I have lost the urge to remove body hair much, particularly in winter. If anything I find it’s better for my skin, no rashes or bumps under my arms, less sweating under my arms. Easier with sensitive skin.

I kind of presumed that no one cares that much- I certainly don’t care if other people have a preference to wax completely or not shave at all.

I went swimming with an acquaintance and she seemed shocked, a bit horrified even, at my legs. I stated I am comfortable, made a light joke my husband is supportive. But she brought it up again like it’s a big deal. ‘Especially as you are so fair skinned with black hair’ was her last comment (I am, not particularly super hair, average but with black hair).

Are other women actually bothered about shaving when it comes to others? Do you notice? I don’t in the pool! Obviously we all have our personal preferences for our own bodies, but does this for extend to being in anyway affronted by what another woman does. She stated hers is the typical view, but I may have more ‘European’ standards.

For context, if anyone askes, I’m quite average in most ways. Healthy weight, clean hair and clothing etc.

yanbu- I’m not really that bothered about what others do, as long as I can exercise my own personal freedom without comment

yabu- I think it’s a bit yucky on others and I do judge natural body hair in the pool

We shouldn't be derided for hairy legs but we are. Last winter I shaved my very hairy legs when I went for an ultrasound on my liver. I was most put out that it was done in a dark room and I didn't need to take my trousers off. Best pants and bra weren't needed either.

OP it wouldn't bother me, I'm really hit and miss on shaving as well, particularly in winter.

Hmmm. I'm extremely low maintenance by typical grooming standards but I do prefer not to have leg hair showing in public. So to go swimming I would deal see to that (I don't shave btw). But I really don't think I'd comment on a friend's leg hair, that would make me seem like a bit of an eejit.

I have big bushy armpits, wonder what your friend would think of that...

I wish I still did! I've been feeling quite sweaty and gross of pit recently, so I shaved them thinking it might help. Did the exact opposite, now growing them back.

I shave my legs a couple of times a week, so pretty densely stubbly by day 3 , I wear thick tights a lot this time of year and I feel itchy when the tights rub against the hair if I leave it to grow longer. What others think of me at a swimming pool is not a concern. Although I will make sure my bikini line is trimmed enough that I don't have handfuls of pubes sticking out the sides of my costume, but I am a pretty hairy person

They would probably say I couldn't be arsed I'd say fair enough

But why would you be pointing it out to them as if it was noteworthy or even wrong?

And what would you hope to gain at that point?

I only wax my legs when they are going to be on display but the rest of the time they are hairy things. I feel uncomfortable having very hairy legs on display but I really respect those who are comfortable enough not to feel pressured to remove their leg hair. If I was your friend my reaction would be good for you OP.

I hate shaving for this exact same reason too. I'm in my 30s and stopped shaving regularly in my 20s especially when i was single for 7yrs, i felt liberated. My DP doesn't even find me hairy even though i think i am. He doesn't mind my body hair. 2yrs ago when i went out with a friend unshaved, she commented and i told her boyfriend didn't mind it at all and she never mentioned it again. Don't mind your friend and do you

I love swimming, and go through phases of doing it a lot. Never shave legs more than once a week, but I'm fair and not very hairy. I couldn't give a flying fuck what other women (or men) choose to do with their body hair, and can't say I've ever noticed either way once in the water!

I shave my pits every couple of days, because stubble there is uncomfortable. Bush gets short back and sides in summer, but as long as it's covered by a costume, who cares?

Oh my gosh, I'm SO over shaving and have been since 30

What a ridiculous concept that the patriarchy introduced

Fuck shaving, unless you want to do it for your own hygiene reasons or comfort

Still not brave enough to stop altogether and do it before e.g. a pool or beach day

Because this is how my friends talk to each other it's the same if one of them had a huge spot I'd say aww you brought your friend

You do talk a load of cobblers. I am a woman but have never worn makeup, no longer need tampons, haven't worn dresses or skirts for at least the past 35 years ish, never ever wore high heels, never had kids, rarely carry a handbag. Male swimmers shave or wax to give them extra speed. Male actors shave and wax.

I keep my legs shaved year round.. I don’t care what anyone else thinks or does, but personally I think hairless legs and underarms just looks better.

But certainly, I wouldn’t comment about other people’s preferences, each to their own.

In my mid-40s - I shave my lower legs and armpits when I can be bothered in the summer (never in the winter, I'm Scottish and need the extra layer of warmth!).

Very occasionally tidy up my bikini line with depilatory cream, but have never waxed and certainly don't go all out.

In saying that, the very small amount of body hair I have is fair and fine and you'd really have to look quite hard to notice it.

Could not give a single shiny shit what other women do with their body hair, apart from sometimes mentally applauding somebody who has decided to completely forgo the whole hair removal as expected by the patriarchy thing.

Good on them, life is short.

Exactly, it's just hair. If she doesn't like it, she doesn't have to look, or do the same as you!

I don't think I'd notice, unless it was to appreciate an unshaven underarm as I think they're nicer (but appreciate it's not any of my business what other women do).

I think it's absolutely fucking nuts and really sad that there are people in the thread who have bought into the idea women should remove their body hair by default so deeply that they would try and bring it up with a friend of theirs. Talk about being an inside agent of the patriarchy.

That's why I said "i" and not women.

Do what you want but you sound old enough not to need to reference your husband to justify your own decisions.

I doubt I’d notice legs unless it’s really long black hair…. Armpits I might if it’s long .

I couldn’t give a toss though tbh. A man’s hairy back would more likely make me shudder than a woman’s hairy legs

I don’t care about things like this anymore. And I’ve never been able to find a method of hair removal that doesn’t leave the shaved/waxed/epilated/chemically burned area covered in an itchy rash.

Christ, with friends like this who needs enemies?

I would probably notice, but certainly not say anything, and like other PPs I'd think "good for you". Absolutely personal choice.

It's how we show love

You are ridiculously superficial. A lot of women don't wear make up or high heels. And clearly don't shave either. None of that has anything to do with being a woman. Honestly regressive stereotypes these days. 🙄 Wear what you like, do what you like with your hair and make up but don't link that to being essential to be a woman.

Rather it's too long to do stuff you don't want to for the sake of strangers..