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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not be fussed about shaven legs and swimming

311 replies

ArchesOfWisteria · 26/01/2025 15:32

In my mid 40s I have lost the urge to remove body hair much, particularly in winter. If anything I find it’s better for my skin, no rashes or bumps under my arms, less sweating under my arms. Easier with sensitive skin.

I kind of presumed that no one cares that much- I certainly don’t care if other people have a preference to wax completely or not shave at all.

I went swimming with an acquaintance and she seemed shocked, a bit horrified even, at my legs. I stated I am comfortable, made a light joke my husband is supportive. But she brought it up again like it’s a big deal. ‘Especially as you are so fair skinned with black hair’ was her last comment (I am, not particularly super hair, average but with black hair).

Are other women actually bothered about shaving when it comes to others? Do you notice? I don’t in the pool! Obviously we all have our personal preferences for our own bodies, but does this for extend to being in anyway affronted by what another woman does. She stated hers is the typical view, but I may have more ‘European’ standards.

For context, if anyone askes, I’m quite average in most ways. Healthy weight, clean hair and clothing etc.

yanbu- I’m not really that bothered about what others do, as long as I can exercise my own personal freedom without comment

yabu- I think it’s a bit yucky on others and I do judge natural body hair in the pool

OP posts:
MusicMakesItAllBetter · 27/01/2025 22:26

Legs and underarms no problem.
For me, I'm lazy at maintaining the lady garden and would only swim in my shorts right now but I'm ok with that.
I'll get a bikini wax when I want to

MajorCarolDanvers · 27/01/2025 22:27

I never bother.

I haven’t shaved anything for years.

And even when I did it was legs and underarms only. But no more. Life’s too short for that guff.

Toptops · 27/01/2025 22:58

I haven't shaved my legs, armpits or anything else well, ever!
I played, with friends, with some wax strips on our legs when I was a teenager but that was it.
I wish other women wouldn't put themselves through this....
Oh, but now I am older, I do have a persistent hair on my face that keeps growing. That offends me mightily and I am rigorous with the tweezers!

Mandylovescandy · 27/01/2025 23:12

I don't care and rarely bother but then if I do I always wax so you have to get used to the bit where it is getting long enough to redo. Only really ever notice really long underarm hair when abroad as I feel I rarely see that here but don't judge it

Augarden · 27/01/2025 23:19

Mid 30s, swim weekly and always have hairy legs. No one's ever said anything or stared, sure once I'm in the pool nobody would even know. Although I can't see very well without my glasses so maybe they are staring and I can't even tell 😂 If anything I think it would be weird to go to the effort of hair removal when currently that's the only time my legs are exposed at all, just why would I do that? I'm there to swim not to look sexy.

CatsnCoffee · 28/01/2025 03:59

RitaFromThePitCanteen · 26/01/2025 15:54

YANBU. No one's stopping your friend from shaving if she prefers it. We as women already have so many unreasonable pressures and expectations pushed on us, it's sad that some women want so desperately want keep them all, let alone push them on other women.

We should have freedom to do what we want with our bodies and appearance (within reason, obviously keeping up with personal hygiene is the polite thing to do, but as society already seems to understand when it comes to men, you can be clean and have body hair).

She’s not a friend; OP states she’s an acquaintance. It’s none of her business. Her remark about OP being ‘European’ suggests she’s xenophobic too. I wouldn’t even want her as an acquaintance.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 28/01/2025 14:34

Toptops · 27/01/2025 22:58

I haven't shaved my legs, armpits or anything else well, ever!
I played, with friends, with some wax strips on our legs when I was a teenager but that was it.
I wish other women wouldn't put themselves through this....
Oh, but now I am older, I do have a persistent hair on my face that keeps growing. That offends me mightily and I am rigorous with the tweezers!

I love a pluck! It gives me a feeling of gratification lol

BeRoseShark · 28/01/2025 16:22

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

lilkitten · 28/01/2025 17:48

I'm mid-40s and stopped shaving in lockdown to see how it was. I've found no-one's been fussed, I'm dating and none of my partners have been fussed either.

StrikeForever · 28/01/2025 19:19

@Augarden I can’t see without my glasses either. I swam blind for years, then saw a women swimming in her glasses. I asked her about it, and she explained that once you put them in the water, they stay clear. Turns out that’s right and I have been able to see when swimming ever since. I don’t look for hair on other women’s bodies though 😂

standardduck · 28/01/2025 19:23

I think your friend was quite rude.

I don't care whether people shave their legs or not. But for me personally, I didn't like the look or feel of hair so I had a laser removal and never thought about it since

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