To not be fussed about shaven legs and swimming

[ArchesOfWisteria]

In my mid 40s I have lost the urge to remove body hair much, particularly in winter. If anything I find it’s better for my skin, no rashes or bumps under my arms, less sweating under my arms. Easier with sensitive skin.

I kind of presumed that no one cares that much- I certainly don’t care if other people have a preference to wax completely or not shave at all.

I went swimming with an acquaintance and she seemed shocked, a bit horrified even, at my legs. I stated I am comfortable, made a light joke my husband is supportive. But she brought it up again like it’s a big deal. ‘Especially as you are so fair skinned with black hair’ was her last comment (I am, not particularly super hair, average but with black hair).

Are other women actually bothered about shaving when it comes to others? Do you notice? I don’t in the pool! Obviously we all have our personal preferences for our own bodies, but does this for extend to being in anyway affronted by what another woman does. She stated hers is the typical view, but I may have more ‘European’ standards.

For context, if anyone askes, I’m quite average in most ways. Healthy weight, clean hair and clothing etc.

yanbu- I’m not really that bothered about what others do, as long as I can exercise my own personal freedom without comment

yabu- I think it’s a bit yucky on others and I do judge natural body hair in the pool

I use the pool and pool area in my gym a lot and I have never once looked or checked out another woman’s body hair. What you choose to do is your business and given the amount of hairy blokes around I don’t think it’s an issue to give any thought to.
I’m amused and saddened some women spend so much time judging other women.

And I have repeatedly said i see it as normal everyday things you do without thinking like flushing the toilet, brushing your teeth I don't know how many times I have to say this. Do you honestly think after reading my comments on this thread that I would have a problem with saying it's a hygiene thing if I thought it was a hygiene thing I would just say that 🤔

It’s not something I do 🤷‍♀️.

Teeth brushing is about hygiene and strong teeth.

Toilet flushing is about sanitation and not being disgusting (although I know some people don’t flush wees because water conservation).

Leg shaving is about nothing than beauty standards.

I preferred to shave when I swam regularly, but each to their own.

I just wear leggings which are really old cycling leggings with a zip

I probably wouldn't mention to my friend unless directly asked or brought up on a conversation. As it's a personal thing and doesn't affect me.

But personally I dont like to see and dont like to have hairs (apart from on my head and eyebrows)😅

Do you have the same reaction to head hair?

I'm genuinely curious here, not being snarky. I also have a quite extreme 'yuk' reaction to a normal human body thing that doesn't bother most people (not hair, but not logical and totally my issue to deal with).

YANBU. I think the focus on women's (but not men's) body hair, and the implication that it is somehow unclean and we should somehow be ashamed of it (even on a body part as innocuous as legs) is totally ridiculous. It’s really shocking how many young women buy into this.

We are the same in the standards of hygiene and presentability that is expected for us to be in society. We must have clean bodies, clean clothes, clean teeth (or at least no bad breath). The only thing that women have to do to maintain acceptable hygiene and presentability that men do not is to appropriately manage their menstruation. Men, on the other hand, may need to bathe more frequently to manage their body odor. Carrying a handbag and wearing high heels and makeup are not things that you need to do to maintain your hygiene or presentability as a woman, I am in no way a tomboy, I exclusively wear dresses and have tailbone length hair and consider myself very feminine, and I have never worn makeup, and aside from a brief foray into shaving due to social pressure due to having to change in front of others for P.E, my body hair has been in its natural state.

Maybe this is a generational difference as I am 23 and my husband is 26, but attitudes to body hair in my social group are very neutral.

I didn't say it wasn't I said for me it's part of my routine that I do naturally without thinking

after reading your batshit comments I have no idea what you would have a problem with?

So, back in the day/up until approx 1990s majority of women only shaved legs and armpits plus occasional trim or bikini wearing prep shave. It would never have occurred to me to shave in the winter months unless there was an event where a sleeveless garment needed wearing or I had very hairy legs and swam regularly.

My mum had very dark brown hair and made me promise I'd only shave my legs if they became really hairy. They didn't and I'm now 60+ and have never shaved them.

The whole hairless ness thing must be over and done with at some point. It's surely not a thing a woman does to please themselves. How can it be? It's not beneficial to health or emotional well-being based on anything motivated by female desire.

I'm 24 so definitely not generational as everyone i know shaves under the age of 60 but maybe more an area thing

Thinking doesn't hurt. It's fun to question things we automatically do sometimes, and learn about why we do them.

(This does occasionally lead to me coming out with some very odd questions or thoughts... sometimes mid conversation!)

Love swimming and go a couple of times a week, don’t think I’ve ever noticed what anyone else has done body hair wise! I’m religious about armpit shaving as I hate the feel, quite lax with legs especially in winter. No one has ever mentioned it to me!

I don't have a problem with others not shaving I haven't said i did. I said I do and that I would say something to a close friend if they didn't as this is how me and my friends talk. Iv not said once in this whole thread that not shaving is an issue others have created that story in their own heads

I've changed over from traditional swimming costumes to something like this- https://seafancy.co.uk/product/floral-scoop-neck-wide-straps-tummy-control-one-piece-swimsuit?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA19e8BhCVARIsALpFMgFX5TK6H_4bJ0CGU_fHsPxo1CBAHUYB0PW32IJEDdhUvK89t5a8RwoaAq9KEALw_wcB it's been amazing having shorts covering my bum area. i feel so much more comfortable and nothing moves around on the slides. I'm not going back!

I have dark hair, I dont shave even with my sleeveless tops and shorts, husband find no issue. I would encourage people to normalise our normal / natural bodies, I am too lazy to shave. 😊

I know why I'm always clean shaven I don't need to question it.

@HipToTheHopDontStop I think you're right!

Why remark on it if you don't have a problem with it? It doesn't sound like you'd be making a positive comment....

I think do whatever makes you comfortable. I'm very lucky to have blonde leg hair so I am definitely guilty of going for a swim with hairy legs especially when DC were small and I was short in time!
I hardly ever shave them over the winter

I really don’t understand that. Brushing your teeth and flushing the toilet are done for hygiene reasons and to be respectful to other people who don’t want to have to smell your foul breath or your urine/faeces. In what way does hair growing on your legs affect anyone else more than hair growing on your head?

What a shame you have been brainwashed to be ashamed of something that men never think twice about. The fashion for women to feel they need hairless bodies like prepubescent children is very creepy, imo.

wtf? You think it’s dirty not to shave your legs?

I don't think MN is the usual dynamic when it comes to shaving. Many on here trip over themselves to say they never shave anything, they love it and their husband really does'nt care.

This is not the case with anyone I know.