To not want to pick up DD in the middle of the night from a sleepover?

[eskopt2]

First time posting here, so please be kind! DD (9) is at her first proper sleepover tonight at her best friend’s house. She was so excited about it all week, and I thought it’d be lovely for her to have a bit of independence. She’s never done a sleepover before, but she’s stayed with her grandparents and been absolutely fine, so I didn’t think it would be a big deal.

Anyway, I just got a text from her friend’s mum saying DD is a bit upset and wants to come home. The mum says it’s not a big meltdown or anything but she wanted to let me know. Now I’m torn. It’s 11pm, I’m already in my PJs, and I was really looking forward to a quiet evening. WIBU to give it a bit longer and see if she settles? I don’t want to leave her feeling miserable, but part of me thinks she needs to learn that sometimes she has to push through things like this. It’s only one night, and she’s in a safe and lovely house with her friend and her mum there.

DH says I should go get her straight away because “she’s still little,” but I think that’s giving in too quickly. I also don’t want to set a precedent where she thinks I’ll always come running the second things get a bit tough.

What would you do? Should I stick it out for an hour or so and see if she settles, or am I being mean? Help!

(Posting here rather than calling my mum because I know she’d just tell me to wrap her in cotton wool and fetch her straight away!)

How do you know it’s a safe situation? Something may have happened that made her feel unsafe and want to come home

It's the year 2078.

OP's great granddaughter teleports home from a sleepover ...

Meanwhile on Mars, Baron Trump signs an executive order banning ...

9 is far too young for a sleepover. I hope you went to get her.

He is and he stuck to it he picked me in my early twenties 2.30 in the morning at that point I lived in the next city over so took him about half an hour to get there but got me out of a dicey situation and home safely. He's not perfect but I've never had a doubt he has my back. (He also is the one that gave me the safe sex talk as a teen I was mortified 🤣)

Fetch her
one day she may be in a tricky situation and not call you as you expected her to cope
No matter what age, your daughter relies on you and trusts you to help when needed.

I hope she has her now as this was a week ago 😂

You don’t think teenage girls want sleepovers? What planet do you live on?

I know this is an old thread now, but I think it’s so important to pick your kids up if they ask. I never ever got into a car with a drunk driver because my parents always said they’d collect me or I could get a taxi and wake them up and they’d pay when I got in.

Really? Should I tell my 13yo and friends that they don't REALLY want them, despite them having a sleepover probably once a month?

I would be annoyed but i would go get her.

Yes this.

So do I and I would never leave them somewhere they’re uncomfortable and have asked me to collect them. You never know why they’re asking. You should always have your child’s back no questions asked.

young teenagers for sure, i was envisioning much older DC... apologies

Disgust?

I thought this! DS16 has 2 mates staying over later....

Also the amount of people that think this sleepover has just happened, midweek 😂

😂😂 nice try

It’s fair point though..,wrapped up in cotton wool is very poor parenting.

Am I the only person who thinks 9 is crazy to have only just had first sleepover. My Daughter is 3 and has stayed at her close friends before, and her friends stayed with us.
I probably would go and get her but kinda think you’ve been a bit precious with her over the years.

You’re not being unreasonable. And I really think some of the responses have been terrible.

And this is the problem with the younger generation nowadays. They have no resilience, responsibility’s, and they are all entitled little brats. This post was asking what others would do, not to be criticised as being a bad parent because she won’t jump when her daughter says. This is a joke. And quite frankly you’re being very rude to another mother who by the sounds of it is learning and battling parenthood like the rest of us.

Wow the drama on this thread. It's no wonder kids have no resilience at all these days, it's no wonder they're all suffering from anxiety etc.

She's nine not three, she isnt a baby. In one years time she reaches the age of criminal responsibility in the UK.

I went as a full time boarder at nine. This was for one night. I'm fine. She's fine.

Well done OP. You helped her face something she thought she couldn't do. She will be a stronger, more confident child for it. She's just learnt to have a little faith in herself. You won't always be there to rescue her. We can't wrap our kids in cotton wool rheir whole lives.

The responses on this thread are absolutely shocking and indicative of how as a society we are failing our children. Maybe this is why so many kids are arriving at school with delayed skills, because we arent teaching them to grow up.

Posters should remember, prepare your child for the road. Not the road for your child.

agree with everything you’ve said. Your posts are making me laugh. Love it. Please can you explain a Helicopter mum for me as I might need to use it myself?

Well said…. X

Wow what a lovely human being you are. You sound very angry and uneducated.

“I also don’t want to set a precedent where she thinks I’ll always come running the second things get a bit tough.”
That’s literally your job as a parent!