Parents V Teachers

[shoogalypeg]

Whilst I do have some sympathy for teachers in this current climate I can’t help but feel that if you can’t handle the heat then get out of the kitchen, which they’re doing in droves and this leaves mostly hardened, jaded individuals who have no business working with children.

I guess this leads onto a really important question:

What can parents do to improve things that doesn’t involve ignoring unprofessional behaviour from teachers?

YABU - cut teachers some slack/parents are powerless to change the system
YANBU - as a parent I’m worried AND feel I have a part to play

(if neither of the above options fit then please elaborate below)

Goady post.

No one expected the kitchen to be on fire.

Behaviour is unmanageable in many schools now because parents don't parent.

I've had a large dictionary thrown at me; I've had a year 7 throw himself into a bin; I've had year 8s running along the top of the lockers; I've been told to fuck off and drink a pint of c*m; I've been called a slag; I've been called a bully by a dad for giving his son a detention for badmouthing another child. I've been spat at, pushed and had my phone stolen. I've had chewing gum put in my coffee.

I am a good teacher with excellent behaviour management and a robust sense of humour but that school put me on antidepressants.

Thankfully I'm now in a private, all girls' school where I am working with kids with good manners and normal behaviour, who are interested, engaged and want to achieve.

I don't think I understand this post

I see teachers being excellent and I'm so grateful they stick it out. I think the problem is the extraordinary proportion of parents who have raised feral animals.

I agree with PP. Behaviour in state schools is out of control. If they want to, the disruptive kids can pretty much do want they want (think being aggressive, verbally abusive, smashing stuff up) with very little sanction, in fact they are often rewarded with fun activities outside the classroom while the good kids watch. I blame school leadership rather than parents. The SLT prefer the smug feeling of inclusivity over having a functioning school for the majority. I quit.

I’m an ex teacher who left after the paper work became insane. I loved teaching and miss being in the classroom.

I don’t see what the OP describes in my children’s school. I see dedicated and caring teachers who admittedly as a governor I know are exhausted.

This is so true.

Inclusion has lethally mutated in to the exclusion of the majority.

Oh great, another thread inviting people to have a right old go at each other. Just what we needed. Well I'm not rising to it.

Teachers are asked to do too much, so are parents tbh. We're all frazzled and turning on each other won't help us or the kids. My children are good kids, their friends are good kids, and their teachers do a great job under difficult conditions.

So many children these days are completely and utterly uncontrollable. Perhaps the parents should address that.

I think it massively depends on the school/teachers. DS attends a great primary, all the teachers are lovely, engaged and helpful. HOWEVER, so are our parents - and behaviour in general seems pretty good.

A school the town over where my friends children attend has awful reputation, the students seem far more rough/loud, the local FB groups are full of parents asking for advice on 'dealing' with their kids teachers, which inevitably ends up with them going and 'kicking off' ~ the teachers are absolutely miserable.

leaves mostly hardened, jaded individuals who have no business working with children

They could stop posting shite about us on social media. That would help.

It would help if parents actually supported schools and backed up consequences at home. I'm a parent btw

@shoogalypeg what do you gain, from posting such goady bollox ?

my bad forgot to include a link to the post that lead to this question

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5259200-to-be-annoyed-with-teacher-re-inappropriate-language

You sound like a hardened, jaded individual with no business working with children 😂

(Also a teacher - used to work in a similar environment, now in a state all girls' school, behaviour isn't perfect but I haven't had to break up any physical fights!)

OP's post seems to have backfired.

Or not. She seems to love a drama.

Speaking from the point of view of both a parent and a teacher my response would be; send us children who understand manners and ensure they maintain them as they grow up. If they have a basic understanding that there is a 'way' to behave in society students tend to understand that there is a 'way' to behave in a classroom more easily.
Once students have classroom conduct sorted we can worry about the academics, which makes students and teachers successful (and in complete honesty reduces our workload and stress as SLT leave successful departments to get on woth it for the most part), which makes teachers enjoy their job and students more likely to enjoy school.
I know it seems over simplified but if I were teaching 30 students who have genuinely good manners in every lesson my life would be easy and manners have to start and be maintained at home.

I'm a teacher, that's entirely untrue. There are lots of us hanging in there and trying out best. In fact it's the children that most of us are staying for. It's the enormous work load, entitled parents, inspection process, lack of funding and resources etc that is driving most teachers away. Behaviour can be pretty tough though (I've had my fair share of thrown chairs etc). I'm very lucky though. The vast majority of our parents are very supportive and our staff are a great team. Also a lot of us teachers are parents too.

Telling teachers to leave teaching when we've got teacher shortages. Great idea OP 🙄

Parents need to parent.

They need to teach their children basic life skills, manners and common courtesy towards others. Help them develop resilience and an understanding that they are not always going to be first, get what they want immediately etc.

The children in my yr 2 class this year behave more like the children I taught in reception when I first qualified, 26 years ago. A large number are really struggling to cope with the idea that they are one of thirty and that others matter too.

The rudeness, selfishness and entitlement from both students and parents is absolutely breathtaking.

If parents parented, bringing their child up in a calm, safe environment with access to appropriate resources where education was valued then that alone would fix most of the problem.

The number of children brought up in less than stellar environments due to various reasons some out of parents control some within, the number of children that are told not to listen to the teacher, that what they are learning is pointless, aren't feed appropriately to don't focus, are abused verbally and physically etc etc etc. The number of parents that come to school and don't advocate for their children but aggressively kick up is far higher than you might expect

But that post was also goady..the op wanted to go directly to the head teacher to complain the teacher before going to the directly to resolve the issue. The op also very much had the opinion that her daughter was not responsible for her own behaviour despite this argument between two girls being very long standing. The op also expected the teacher to take full responsibility for this despite the parents seemingly being unable to resolve this ongoing feud. I don't know what this post has to do with yours. Why does everything think they could be a teacher and feel the need to be so critical. It's so wearing.

Classic and all too common response, "But you don't understand, little Jimmy has undiagnosed ADHD or Oppositional Defiance Disorder, I, as his parent can't do anything, what is the school going to do about it?"

My husband is in his 50s and can still remember watching the 'bad lads' getting motorbike lessons in the school grounds when the 'good kids' got more lessons and more homework! He's now a HT.

Teaching has gone well beyond just being "teaching". I'm a SEN 1:1 and today including working with the child I 1:1 for I've had to support children with everything from self harming to parents sending their kid in the same holey t-shirt every day to squabbling to kids shouting constantly or being rude to each other. That's barely even scratching the surface of ONE day in a primary school and I'm not even a teacher.

It's all just a mess. Anyone who thinks teaching staff only teach and shouldn't be stressed is an idiot. I'd wager most of us go above and beyond every day and do it with a smile on our face before we go home to get ready to do it all again the next day. I'm not saying parents are the problem, some parents are definitely but it's just a crappy system with an unrealistic workload for everyone.

Why create a second thread?

Honestly I think if you want a way to 'help' ~ don't hold it against a teacher who slips up. We've all said things we don't mean in front of kids, and that's having 1 or 2 to deal with - not 30!

I also think it's a huge leap to go from one thing she said in a stressful situation, to 'the only teachers left are ones like this!'