To be annoyed with teacher re inappropriate language

[shoogalypeg]

My DD 8 has an ongoing feud with a girl in her class which came to a head today so DD and her friend got told off for arguing with the girl (no issues there, I don’t know how teachers cope dealing with the petty stuff kids fight about) the problem is she told the girls to “stop being bitchy”

my issue is:

1. This is totally unprofessional language for a teacher to be using
2. Sexist language like this has no place in schools

now do I have a word with this teacher directly and risk getting things escalating (we’ve had issues in the past) or should I go directly to the headteacher to deal with it.

(for what it’s worth DD doesn’t tell fibs and is BEGGING me not to say anything as she fears reprisals from this teacher)

No, not appropriate but the teacher was probably knackered and chose the wrong words. Focus on helping daughter resolve conflict. If more inappropriate words are reported back to you, then maybe contact the school.

Completely unprofessional, inappropriate language. Speak to the Headteacher about it.

you’re absolutely right, and I’ve told DD not to interact with this girl under any circumstances but when she avoids this child she’s told off for being rude to her by this same teacher (these two have had a character clash since day 1)

doesn’t help that this girl is the daughter of one of the teaching staff so she gets away with murder!!

Probably best, thank you

Have you honestly never said anything you regret OP? Give the teacher a break. Parents complain constantly and it’s so wearing for the teachers who are just trying to do their best under REALLY difficult conditions.
Why not use it as a teaching opportunity for your child rather than just complaining.
Show resilience and strength rather than teaching your child never to deal with anything themselves but just to run and complain about every little thing.

Malicious gossip. You aren’t in school so you can’t possibly know the truth.

Have you spoken with the teacher?

Sorry, that should he you should speak to the teacher, always best to get their version first, going straight to the head over this would be seen as over kill.

I really don’t think it’s worth getting upset over

I think she just chose the wrong word. It happens!

Remember your daughter is trusting you and sharing with you. This is one of those times I’d respect my dd asking me not to say anything to ensure she always tells me stuff.

Another dd who doesn't tell fibs! Yet in all my years I've yet to meet a child who never lies. Funny that. You don't know whether or not this happened, maybe you should speak to her teacher and see what she says about it.

Malicious gossip! I think not, this child has assaulted multiple children (including DD) IN CLASS on multiple occasions and wasn’t excluded.

Casual sexism is not worth getting upset over?!

I normally defend teachers when they balls up a it but this is not ok. Not least because it would be unlikely they’d tell 2 boys to stop being bitchy

Teacher here and I agree it’s not an appropriate way to phrase it. I would definitely raise it but agree that the teacher is the best first port of call. If you then have further concerns you can escalate further.

And people like you are the reason Teachers are leaving in their droves. 40,000 left in 2023 to move in to other jobs, mostly lower paid than teaching, I took a 20k pay cut to move jobs after 18 years in the classroom.

You will look a right idiot if you go to the head. Teenage girls often exaggerate the truth so there is a high chance this didn't happen.

If it did, so what? She was probably knackered from working a 55 hour week and highly stressed from trying to support everyone else's kids all day every day.

If you go to the head you will regret it months down the line when you look back and realise your over reaction.

Also..... she was probably right. They probably were being bitchy.

Wear a helmet.

That’s a good point, question is where does one draw the line with this teacher, as I’ve said this isn’t our first run in

I'm really surprised by these replies.

I am such a stickler for feminist view points, respecting women but sometimes I make mistakes. She is only human and tbh sometime the word ' bitchy is kind of appropriate. I sometimes struggle to think of another description of behaviour that girls primarily more than boys behave in.

I'm inclined to say you should let this one go. Can you please just give her the benefit of the doubt. Teachers are really up against it. I'd save this for the really rotten ones who deserve to be reported.

she’s EIGHT!!

I’m maybe projecting but I had all sorts of issues in primary with the child of a teacher and my DD. Teaching staff are very close to one another and I find them to unable to be impartial when it’s their mate’s kid

Before anyone jumps on this , yes I said teenage and the kid is 8. Nevertheless kids exaggerate.

All my points still stand.

The way I'd be inclined to deal with this given that you describe it as an ongoing feud and not bullying (making me think that your dd is maybe giving as good as she gets at times?) Is I'd acknowledge with dd that the teacher didn't use the best words but ultimately her point is completely fair.

I wouldn't get hung up on the word tbh because I think not everyone draws the connection between 'bitchy' and where it is coming from and instead I'd be addressing the behaviour. I'd ask for a meeting with the teacher, explain that obviously your dd and this girl do not get on so you will be advising your dd to ignore her (and also not to make faces/ roll eyes/talk about this girl negatively etc) and you expect this teachers full support with this and for any of the above behaviour from either girl should be shut down immediately.

Then teach your dd the importance of rising above and how to calmly ignore someone.

My DD is certainly no saint but she always comes clean when she messes up

Why not just say “I got it wrong sorry there’s a world of difference between an 8yo and a teenager”

Tour point doesn’t still stand at all. Your point was “Waaaah stop moaning about teachers your daughter probably is bitchy”.

Imagine calling an 8yo bitchy. If a human being, especially a teacher, can’t find a better word then I question their intelligence

That doesn't mean she hasn't told a lie. You've no idea what happened as you weren't there.