Parents V Teachers

[shoogalypeg]

Whilst I do have some sympathy for teachers in this current climate I can’t help but feel that if you can’t handle the heat then get out of the kitchen, which they’re doing in droves and this leaves mostly hardened, jaded individuals who have no business working with children.

I guess this leads onto a really important question:

What can parents do to improve things that doesn’t involve ignoring unprofessional behaviour from teachers?

YABU - cut teachers some slack/parents are powerless to change the system
YANBU - as a parent I’m worried AND feel I have a part to play

(if neither of the above options fit then please elaborate below)

We have to parent a lot of children. They can't put shoes on (Velcro), tidy up, have no basic manners, tooth decay is rampant, and many are spoilt.

Most parents are lovely but some are lazy and quite clearly dump their children in front of a screen most evenings. These are usually the same parents who play the system, trying to get their child labelled as having SEN when they clearly do not. This makes it harder for those with genuine need to get the support they need.

Social media has a lot to answer for. Teachers are demonised. Yes there are some terrible teachers- but the vast majority are dedicated professionals being thrown against the wall. That bloody woman on TikTok campaigning for the human rights of children is spreading misinformation and hatred. The reports of kids not being allowed to go to the toilet - they have rights you know, being out in isolation etc. parents demanding that their little angel be treated differently - the list is endless.
Want to use the toilet? Don't vandalise it and throw shit everywhere.
Don't want to be in isolation. Well behave.

It's demoralising as a teacher of 25 years who still gives everything to the job.

That bloody woman on TikTok campaigning for the human rights of children is spreading misinformation and hatred

What's this?

Parents definitely need to parent and back up teachers - there's so much less respect and very few strictures that really work. All cuts down the time in lessons when effective work can be done sadly

This. 100%. The bar for parenting that is barely acceptable is so low now. We cannot question parents but they can leave everything at the door of school for the teachers to pick up the slack. The majority of children with issues at school do not have their needs met at home.

She's called eburyofficial and takes complaints for kids and claims to 'represent' them at schools. She is also campaigning for 10 days off for kids in the school year. Kids venting because they had their phones taking off them - human rights you know!

I have had to block as it gives me the absolute rage

Oh didn't that 10 days off bollocks appear on MN too?

Interesting. I think some of our parents may follow her.

OP you make no sense.

What do they do? Work together. Just as you should be teaching your daughter to do.

You accept people are human and make mistakes and use clear calm communication to work together to help your child.

@noblegiraffe I know some of our kids have. One (nice kid and joking) told me they would report me to her as I wouldn't let them write in pencil (GCSE).

Oh also, treat each other with respect. Have you ever thanked her for what she has done for your child? Or any of the teachers at your child's school? I'm guessing not and yet youre very quick to say she should basically quit if in one moment of stress she mis-spoke.

That's how it breaks down, a lack of respect for each other.

I have 2 children in primary school, the oldest in year 5. Here is a sample of complaints I’ve heard from other parents since he started Reception:

-“my child is not allowed to eat 2 dairy milk chocolate bars at break time”

• “My child needs the calories so he needs to have a biscuit at break, not fruit like all the other kids”
• “They need to make sure my child is eating enough at lunchtime”
• “2 children in the class are allowed to use laptops because of SEN. It is unfair on the other children”
• "Miss X shouted at the children yesterday, I’m going to complain to the head”

-“They haven’t spent very long looking for my child’s lunch box” -My child is naughty in school because she isn’t being challenged enough, the work is too easy”

• “It’s not right that my child was given a consequence because she put her hands round another child’s neck”
• "It’s disgusting that they don’t send the PE kits home every week for the reception children”
• “It’s only October and I’ve already been called in to the school twice for meetings about behaviour involving my reception child. Unacceptable”
• “I forgot to label my child’s cardigan and now the teacher can’t find it. Why can’t they make sure these things don’t get lost??”
• “I think they are a bit too strict dealing with boisterous boys”

And the list goes on. Maybe if parents were willing to work with their child’s teacher instead of against them it might take the pressure off a bit? A couple of years ago my son’s teacher sent home a note apologising for the straw in his water bottle for getting broken. I was very grateful to get the note but I was a bit concerned that she felt the need to do that - maybe they are used to getting complaints over water bottles!

Honestly, if parents stopped quibbling about shit that doesn’t matter and take responsibility now and again then maybe teachers would have more time and headspace to actually teach rather than having to deal with parents who think the sun shines out of their child’s behind. I was generally a well behaved child at school but I remember on one occasion my parents were called in and I was absolutely ashamed. My parents supported the teachers with whatever action they chose to take. I can’t imagine that happening now. Almost every morning I see the same parents insisting on talking to their child’s teacher for 5 minutes, despite weekly reminders in the newsletter not to do this and to make an appointment through the office if there is anything to discuss. Another thing that has popped up in the newsletter recently is an instruction to parents “not to enter the school to help their child hang up their coat”?! 😂

Sorry for the paragraph fail!

Whilst I do have some sympathy for teachers in this current climate I can’t help but feel that if you can’t handle the heat then get out of the kitchen, which they’re doing in droves and this leaves mostly hardened, jaded individuals who have no business working with children.

Do you not see the problem in your prescription?

It's parents with attitudes like yours who cause teachers to leave; you deserve the hardened individuals - although your children don't.

Awful post. Why would you think negging teachers at this moment in time based on one example would be a constructive approach?

oh yeah you’re just starting a fight for fun.

This is quite a bitchy post.

👏👏 thank you, thank you! I wish there were more parents like you! (The example of the unlabelled, lost cardigan was just 100% on the money and actually made me laugh - so ludicrous when you see it written down!)

Teachers are getting out of the kitchen, in their masses, making it more and more difficult for those left.

Please take your attitude elsewhere before even more of us leave.

Teaching teenage girls, I used to resent the ensuing chaos when someone had a row at breakfast with their mum, often about their boyfriend - or even with their boyfriend, or their best mate! - and turned up at school seething, and ripe for all-out disruption. A few lessons ruined, and they felt much better.

Feel free to join us op, there is a recruitment crisis after all

What should parents do? Support schools and their staff by taking accountability for their children's actions and by providing support by not laying the blame for absolutely everything with the school. Also teach their kids to be resilient.

I can parent my children for sure. But I can't do anything about the other 29 and they're definitely the product of "I know my rights" type people.

I guess I could call out daft statements on the WhatsApp group? But I'm not sure how to diplomatically say "aren't you every teachers' worst nightmare" without starting a fight.

Parent your children. And don't automatically believe what they tell you if it's not what the teacher has said. They do lie especially if they think it will get them out off trouble.

I had 3 students swearing outside my room, when I challenged them they completely denied it yet they where the only ones there. They then lied to the head and said they didn't do it, yet all he was asking them to do was apologise to me.

Even after being threatened to be sent to internal exclusion, they still took over 10 minutes and a long conversation with the head to admit it.

I listened to a student who been kept in at break the other day arguing that he hadn't taken his saltey specs off in science, yet the teacher had seen it. They will argue blue is black.

These are just 2 examples of things I see everyday. And I don't have to teach them.
We would have never dared to talk back to an adult like that when I was younger. I wasn't scared of the teachers I just had more respect.

Oh and actually the teachers who stay and don't leave I've found are actually very good and dedicated to their jobs.

Just touching base, I’ve not abandoned the thread, just been busy so will respond later tonight.

The one thing that I’m not sure has been mentioned yet (still making my way through the comments) are the systematic problems at the root of these issues where teachers are caught between a rock (educationally bureaucracy) and a hard place (exasperated parents who mean well) then obviously there are the parents who’ve relinquished all responsibility for the upbringing of their kids (who waste most of the educational resources)

Thanks to those who’ve made constructive contributions to the discussion.

Lots of teachers are parents too. Teachers can't tell parents anymore that unless their child actually puts some effort into their work, they're not going to get the grades they want without the parents complaining the teacher is mega. We're expected to run after school revision sessions unpaid because pupils can't manage to revise by themselves at home. We're expected to be their counsellor, therapist. COVID has affected pupils in different ways. If parents don't show respect then nor do the pupils. Imagine doing your job and having to justify to your boss why an 11 year old thinks you're not doing it properly.