To think it's the education system timetable's fault, not my son's fault

[SamVussain]

Parents evening last night.
Secondary school, year 8.
Every single subject teacher said exactly the same thing: "Sam loses focus half way or 3/4 way through a lesson, he works really well and he engages well and demonstrates good learning, but suddenly I see him staring out of the window for a few seconds and I have to say "Sam!" to get him back on to concentrating again!" Or "Sam applies himself then half way through the lesson loses focus and starts fiddling with his pen or rubber and I have to say "Sam! Concentrate!" and then he puts it down and starts concentrating again, but I shouldn't have to say it to him at all". Every one of them said "Intelligent boy, well behaved, polite, good knowledge levels, but loses focus at points during the lesson which he needs to stop doing, he needs to apply himself 100% throughout the lesson".
Lessons are either 50 minutes long or 100 minutes long.
By the time it got to the 4th subject teacher saying this, I started saying that there is scientific based evidence to prove that regular brain breaks are essential, that the brain needs to stop learning at regular intervals, take a brain break, then resume. From what I've read, time intervals vary, but some research suggests brain breaks are needed as often as every 20 minutes whilst studying. But this was dismissed by every teacher I said it to. I also said to one particular teacher that there is evidence to prove that 'fiddling' with something, moving the hand and fiddling with a small object, can really help some people to concentrate and apply themselves better. She said he sometimes fiddles with his rubber and that he needs to stop. I asked if it was disrupting any other pupils, or making a noise. She said no. I asked if it disrupted her. She said no, but that it meant to her that he wasn't focusing on the lesson if he was fiddling with his rubber. I asked if he fiddles with it all through the lesson, and she said "Oh no no no no no, not at all, no, just at some points for a short while". And I said "Well, that's alright then. Let him. It might be that it helps him focus". She then said if that was my opinion then I have to apply for "special permission from the SEN department to request for him to be allowed to fiddle."
DS is not diagnosed with any SEN. I'm very aware that innatentive ADHD could cause this. But equally, is it not just that my DS needs more regular brain breaks than what the school timetable allows for?
Why has my DS got to avoid occasionally fiddling with his rubber if it helps him to keep concentrating, and why has he got to avoid looking out of the window for 10 seconds if that helps him to give his brain a break before refocusing again at points during a 100 minute lesson?
I talked to DS about it afterwards, and he admitted that sometimes his brain starts feeling overloaded with information in the more difficult acadwmic lessons so he looks out of the window to relax his brain, then after a short time (10 seconds or so) he feels like he can refocus again and gets back on track. He attended with me, and he seemed to feel quite deflated that all the teachers of academic lessons said it. He said "Why don't they notice how much I am applying myself ".
Interestingly, none of the teachers of movement lessons said it - PE, DT, etc.
I'm feeling irritated this morning that every teacher of academic lessons said my DS needs to focus 100% throughout every lesson, yet the school timetable is not designed to allow regular brain breaks for children and instead expects them to study for long periods of time without any loss of concentration whatsoever.
I'm really interested to know other parents thoughts?

I didn't say our brains are "switched off", I said they're not always focused, which is clearly true. Show me a train full of commuters gazing into the middle distance; they're not all doing quadratic equations in their heads or reciting Latin vocabulary, are they?

Is meditation "switching off" our brain? How many deaths per year are meditation related?

My DS is ND and we live by the motto ‘the world won’t bend to him’. Because it won’t. We have a duty to do all that we can to prepare him and help him practice the skills he will need to cope with life. It is shot sometimes. It is hard. But it’s what’s best for him overall. What can you do to help him manage this?

There lessons will be chunked and have transitions. They won’t be expected to sit in silent concentration for the full
lesson.

Your son is doing really well and is actually managing his lessons well. He is noticing that is brain is over loaded and is taking a 10 second break, look out the window. That's amazing that he can recognise that. I just wish the teachers could be on board with this and accept this and accommodate this for him, because it will work for him going forward.

I know when we are at work, doing 8 hour shifts, with only 2 breaks. We will still stop what we're doing and stretch out, walk for a minute, nip to the loo, look out the window, say hi to a colleague. We all have brain breaks at work too.

What? Hang on a minute, you're completely wrong. He doesn't lose focus for the entire second half of the lesson!!! Where did you get that from?!? The teachers absolutely WERE saying it was only for a minute or so. Not for long. Did you read my OP?

You've just proved it. What a nightmare.

Or maybe it sounds... normal, or bored, or tired.

You know who else isn't concentrating 100% every single second of a lesson? The teachers and TAs. Every single other child. They just learned how to disguise it better.

Why? Because they're human.

Op, I'm with you. A 50min session should allow for 2-5min of break and a 100min session for 5-10min. When I was teaching at university we were always told we should

1. Give regular breaks
2. Break up the lesson, ideally with something practical, so the students don't just have to listen for 2h. (Not saying school teachers don't do this already)

I think, the problem isn't that your son takes a 2min break to look out of the window. It sounds to me as if he won't return to focusing on his own without the teacher prompting. A way around this would be for the teacher to give regular breaks anyway. I think all students would benefit from that. Or maybe you could practice somehow with your son to remember to go back to focussing.

Also if the fiddling doesn't disturb anyone then what's the problem?

I wouldn't be able to focus for thst long either. I struggle in 2h meetings. I am diagnosed with adhd though.

Teachers see a huge numbers of children and have a good idea of what the expected levels of concentration would be for pupils of that age in their subject at that time of day, given a few variables such as the weather.

Your DS is falling outside of that norm across several subjects. This may be for any number of reasons and the conversations are to explore why that might be, as you know your child and what is going on in their life better than the teacher.

It may be that a child who struggles to concentrate is unhappy or who has worries they haven’t shared. Or they don’t get enough sleep, or time without screens. Or they don't eat properly or they fuel on short-acting fixes like energy drinks and then crashes.

Or it might be the child has some kind of special need that affects their concentration, like a hearing loss, language processing difficulty or attention deficit disorder.

Your role as parent is to consider the information, find out from your child what he really thinks is happening (and if they say the work is “too easy” then they mean the overall work is too difficult, so they are only able to engage with the lower-order skills required, and zone out as thinking in more depth is required).

Then to act on that. Either put in place changes at home to help your DS to develop the discipline required or seek appropriate support, most of which is accessed in school via the SENDCo.

If you wish to change the education system, then that is the job of government. Unless your area has a bye-election, you have just missed that boat for a while. You could choose to find a school with a different approach to educational pedagogy, but most outside the broad average would veer towards stricter rather than more lax in their expectations on pupils, or de-register your child and educate him yourself according to your educational philosophies.

Wow, what a ridiculous over reaction for a two minute glance away from the teacher! How is a by-election going to assist with a change in the government's education policy?

Equally, this ridiculous pettiness wastes so much time. On the one hand schools have highly disruptive, violent pupils that school's are at lengths to placate and reward with days out of the school and children who are polite are given behaviour points for line of sight being out of the window for 2 minutes, which ultimately might lead to a detention. However much you explain to your children the reasons behind these allowances for others and to be charitable, I do see why they see the behaviour system as totally illogical and demotivating, i.e cause mayhem get a day out, look out the window for a minute get a detention and lambasted at Parents' evening or falsely told there is something that needs to be addressed under SEND. No wonder there is no money left for SEND referrals!

OP, I wouldn't worry about it. It sounds like normal 13yo boy to me. Combined with a not very exciting syllabus.

He'll grow out of it.

Amazing that you know these teachers didn’t plan the lessons in chunks to allow brain breaks. I’m staggered at how little primary teachers know about how to plan a lesson like this. (I’m not, because I know they do know, just as I know se o dairy teachers aren’t ignorant of educational theory, and yet you feel the need to be condescending and unpleasant about secondary teachers. Nasty).

Teacher here. This is perfectly normal for his age and l wouldn't give it one more thought. He is not disturbing anyone else and sounds like a diligent student. My dd doodled while she listened and so did l. We were both excellent, diligent students but one Teacher absolutely refused to allow dd do it saying it was a sign she wasn't listening but l can 100% guarantee she knew every word he was saying . Maybe ds could put the eraser away as its a temptation and just have a little gaze out. I doubt very much all those other students are enthralled every moment with listening to every teacher. Just forget about it and move on. Focus with ds on their very positive comments.
My ds spent most of his time, unfortunately looking out the window as he has ADHD but he now works in a very demanding job which plays to his strengths so l am absolutely certain your guys odd distraction will not ruin his life.

From my experience of speaking to secondary colleagues and from my own children’s teachers there is little to no planning or understanding for inclusivity or understanding of difference between students. I am not being nasty it just doesn’t seem to be the case.

I am not saying that secondary teachers are not experts in their subjects or in planning lessons. However, in my experience secondary schools seem to lack flexibility or understanding of different people’s learning styles. They seem to have little to no knowledge of SEND or scaffolding children's learning. This is not the same as planning brain breaks or different tasks.

@Goldenbear and @junebirthdaygirl
Thanks so much.
Your posts really resonate with me.
What I didn't explain properly in my OP (and realise I should have), is that every teacher that complained about him fiddling or looking out of the window all told me it is only for very short periods of time, not for long, no longer than 1 minute, but that they notice it most lessons. But each teacher told me that he hit the median score in his recent tests in every subject. So this means he's not excelling, and of course it would be brilliant if he were. But it also means he's not falling behind. Every teacher was also very clear that he is polite, engages well with the class, is good at answering questions, puts his hand up a lot, is always prompt at arriving to class, always has the correct equipment for his class, always remembers his books, is well organised, demonstrates good knowledge of the subject and is very well behaved.

Is he on track for his target grades for GCSE?

Could he theoretically achieve more/ they think he could?

They didn't give target grades for GCSEs.
They gave median scores.
He hits each median score for each subject.

I think you might be clutching at straws here. Fiddling is not helping him to keep concentrating if it is taking his attention away from the lesson. It is distracting him from concentrating.

Can you suggest to him that he does something more unobtrusive to help him refocus or concentrate? The "rubber fiddling" must be quite noticeable if the teacher sees it. Can he wiggle his toes or something like that? (I would suggest rubbing the cloth of his trouser leg with one hand under his desk or something like that, but that might look alarming…)

No one , child or adult concentrates 100% of the time on any task.

AMEN.

OP: Speaking as a teacher myself. If we comment on a negative behaviour, it's because it's out of the norm. If all the kids were doing it, and it was seen as normal, then we wouldn't mention it.

Yes, your son probably did "admit" that he sometimes "has problems" concentrating, because you grilled him about it and harrassed every single one of his teachers. He's probably mortified. I know I was when, on the rare occasion, I got a slightly less glowing parents evening report.

You need to calm all the way down.

I don’t think this is how the OP comes across at all. A few minutes of lapsed concentration is normal. Anyway what is ‘normal’?

Lots of secondaries now seem to impose these draconian measures where everyone must conform and be the same, but life isn’t like that thank goodness. The world would really dull and hugely unproductive if everyone thought and processed information in exactly the same way. At my DD’s secondary she is supposed to track the speaker with her eyes for the entire time they are talking. I couldn’t do that and I’m a teacher! We are failing our children by making those who can’t do this feel abnormal.