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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's the education system timetable's fault, not my son's fault

198 replies

SamVussain · 24/01/2025 07:22

Parents evening last night.
Secondary school, year 8.
Every single subject teacher said exactly the same thing: "Sam loses focus half way or 3/4 way through a lesson, he works really well and he engages well and demonstrates good learning, but suddenly I see him staring out of the window for a few seconds and I have to say "Sam!" to get him back on to concentrating again!" Or "Sam applies himself then half way through the lesson loses focus and starts fiddling with his pen or rubber and I have to say "Sam! Concentrate!" and then he puts it down and starts concentrating again, but I shouldn't have to say it to him at all". Every one of them said "Intelligent boy, well behaved, polite, good knowledge levels, but loses focus at points during the lesson which he needs to stop doing, he needs to apply himself 100% throughout the lesson".
Lessons are either 50 minutes long or 100 minutes long.
By the time it got to the 4th subject teacher saying this, I started saying that there is scientific based evidence to prove that regular brain breaks are essential, that the brain needs to stop learning at regular intervals, take a brain break, then resume. From what I've read, time intervals vary, but some research suggests brain breaks are needed as often as every 20 minutes whilst studying. But this was dismissed by every teacher I said it to. I also said to one particular teacher that there is evidence to prove that 'fiddling' with something, moving the hand and fiddling with a small object, can really help some people to concentrate and apply themselves better. She said he sometimes fiddles with his rubber and that he needs to stop. I asked if it was disrupting any other pupils, or making a noise. She said no. I asked if it disrupted her. She said no, but that it meant to her that he wasn't focusing on the lesson if he was fiddling with his rubber. I asked if he fiddles with it all through the lesson, and she said "Oh no no no no no, not at all, no, just at some points for a short while". And I said "Well, that's alright then. Let him. It might be that it helps him focus". She then said if that was my opinion then I have to apply for "special permission from the SEN department to request for him to be allowed to fiddle."
DS is not diagnosed with any SEN. I'm very aware that innatentive ADHD could cause this. But equally, is it not just that my DS needs more regular brain breaks than what the school timetable allows for?
Why has my DS got to avoid occasionally fiddling with his rubber if it helps him to keep concentrating, and why has he got to avoid looking out of the window for 10 seconds if that helps him to give his brain a break before refocusing again at points during a 100 minute lesson?
I talked to DS about it afterwards, and he admitted that sometimes his brain starts feeling overloaded with information in the more difficult acadwmic lessons so he looks out of the window to relax his brain, then after a short time (10 seconds or so) he feels like he can refocus again and gets back on track. He attended with me, and he seemed to feel quite deflated that all the teachers of academic lessons said it. He said "Why don't they notice how much I am applying myself ".
Interestingly, none of the teachers of movement lessons said it - PE, DT, etc.
I'm feeling irritated this morning that every teacher of academic lessons said my DS needs to focus 100% throughout every lesson, yet the school timetable is not designed to allow regular brain breaks for children and instead expects them to study for long periods of time without any loss of concentration whatsoever.
I'm really interested to know other parents thoughts?

OP posts:
Knowitall69 · 24/01/2025 10:31

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JandamiHash · 24/01/2025 10:31

@Knowitall69 you crack me up 😂

Gettingbysomehow · 24/01/2025 10:32

I used to do this in long lessons too mainly because I found the subject matter boring. Do they really expect a child to concentrate for a full 50 minutes without a break? I think that's unreasonable. They are not little robots.
I have a number of degrees now and an MsC so I hardly think your DS is going to end up in the gutter.

Dutchesss · 24/01/2025 10:34

I was like this at school, none of my teachers ever brought it up as an issue and I did really well.
I used to grasp things quickly so while the rest of the class may have needed the long explanation I already understood and had started daydreaming. It's hard to focus when information feels repetitive. I used to doodle rather than fiddle but the information from the lesson would go in, and sometimes it was easier to absorb information while doodling.

If he's doing well I wouldn't worry as long as he's not distracting anyone else.

Knowitall69 · 24/01/2025 10:34

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EmmaMaria · 24/01/2025 10:34

Wait til he has a job and has to concentrate for 8 hours with 2 breaks only! Your assertions regarding brain breaks is not scientific - our brains HAVE to be focussed 24/7 or else we would literally die.

It is scientifically proven that people have attention spans, so denying it is stupid. It doesn't mean that your brain stops working!

BusMumsHoliday · 24/01/2025 10:34

I agree with you, OP - and to the "teacher" above, the boy's teachers were very clear that he's not disrupting the lesson or bothering others. He's just zoning out now and then, and doing some mild fidgeting.

If he's not missing the content of the class (as indicated in his work, or by asking loads of follow up questions) and he's not disruptive, I don't see why this is a problem at all?

If you get this feedback again, OP, I would change your question to, "how can me, DS and the school work together to help him focus? You say frequent reminders aren't helping, so what do we need to build into his day?" My guess is that they will say that it doesn't rise to any kind of accommodation, and you can say, "oh, that's great, no problem then."

Knowitall69 · 24/01/2025 10:36

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Knowitall69 · 24/01/2025 10:37

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Knowitall69 · 24/01/2025 10:39

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EmmaMaria · 24/01/2025 10:39

Dutchesss · 24/01/2025 10:34

I was like this at school, none of my teachers ever brought it up as an issue and I did really well.
I used to grasp things quickly so while the rest of the class may have needed the long explanation I already understood and had started daydreaming. It's hard to focus when information feels repetitive. I used to doodle rather than fiddle but the information from the lesson would go in, and sometimes it was easier to absorb information while doodling.

If he's doing well I wouldn't worry as long as he's not distracting anyone else.

Me too! I recall in infant school, third year, that my teacher called my mum in to tell her that "there was something wrong with me" (this would have been about 1965) because I couldn't read! My mum was somewhat 🤔because at home I never had a book out of my hands. So she asked me to read to the teacher from a book she picked up, which I did. Then the teacher explained that whenever she asked me to read out loud from the book I couldn't. It transpired that I didn't know where we were in the book because I had finished "the class reader" two weeks ago!

Knowitall69 · 24/01/2025 10:39

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Knowitall69 · 24/01/2025 10:40

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Blushingm · 24/01/2025 10:41

When he's working he will be expected to concentrate. Also uni lectures are longer than this too......what will he do then? Have his mum complaining it's not his fault?

Films are also longer and I bet he plays video games for longer too with out gazing out of the window

Gerbilboy · 24/01/2025 10:43

Teacher here in a school with 100 minute lessons. If a child is generally well behaved and loses focus, it's my job to bring them back on task. It's a long time to concentrate fully on one task, so I try to break things up a little. Especially in this era of tik tok and you tube shorts.

I remember staring out of the window occasionally when I was at (a very academic) school. Surely everyone daydreams? I hope they do!

ADifferentSong · 24/01/2025 10:47

I don’t think it’s the system at fault. But a problem is being highlighted here that you need to look at further. Your child is routinely zoning out for some reason. Possibly ADHD or a processing difficulty. There are other potential reasons as well. Maybe start with the SENCO and push for brain breaks?

Cielmonmari · 24/01/2025 10:50

Even in a fifty minute lesson time is spent arriving at the classroom, getting in and settled down, noting homework and packing up at the end.

I can't speak for all teachers but my lessons weren't lectures, there were varied activities and even giving out worksheets etc provides a chance to have a break in concentration.

The idea that classes have to sit and concentrate for a hundred minutes solid is ludicrous to me.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 24/01/2025 11:13

100 minute lessons are ridiculous without a break.

TidydeskTidymind · 24/01/2025 11:16

Gerbilboy · 24/01/2025 10:43

Teacher here in a school with 100 minute lessons. If a child is generally well behaved and loses focus, it's my job to bring them back on task. It's a long time to concentrate fully on one task, so I try to break things up a little. Especially in this era of tik tok and you tube shorts.

I remember staring out of the window occasionally when I was at (a very academic) school. Surely everyone daydreams? I hope they do!

I bet you're an ace teacher!

I was really pleasantly surprised when, last night at parents evening, one of the teachers asked my 15 year old, 'what could I do for you to make lessons more engaging?'.

Teachers like you are the best.

Thank you

noblegiraffe · 24/01/2025 11:30

It is really, really common when parents hear something about their child that suggests something isn't normal, for the parents to shoot the messenger.

The teacher should be more engaging
The timetable should have shorter lessons
The teacher shouldn't comment when a kid is zoning out all the time
The teacher doesn't know how children learn

What teachers do have is a large number of children in front of them daily, and they can see when certain children are persistently acting differently to the other children.

Don't shoot the messenger, consider the information given and whether anything might need to be done with it,

Goldenbear · 24/01/2025 12:06

Whydoeseveryonewanttoargue · 24/01/2025 10:15

I am genuinely asking this question - not as a criticism of the OP or other children but more out of curiousity.

Is concentrating now more difficult than it was due to the proliferation of screens? My kids will play a video game longer than 40 minutes and won’t lose concentration, but such an activity is immediate, intense and ongoing….

OP is your kid maybe a bit bored?

In the past I'm 100% sure children lost interest in lessons, looked out of the windows, put gas taps on in Science, chucked rubbers at other pupils' backs or just day dreamed and looked out of the window. This wasn't necessarily a reflection on the teachers' delivery, although sometimes it was. I was a Daydreamer but I am educated to Master's degree level so my occasional drift of sight to the window, didn't do much damage to my career prospects!

Goldenbear · 24/01/2025 12:10

Blushingm · 24/01/2025 10:41

When he's working he will be expected to concentrate. Also uni lectures are longer than this too......what will he do then? Have his mum complaining it's not his fault?

Films are also longer and I bet he plays video games for longer too with out gazing out of the window

University lectures are easy to daydream in and equally, the Lecturers have a different role to a teacher, they lecture, not discipline. It's on the Student to want to learn and their are natural consequences of they don't. Besides, not everyone goes to uni, especially these days!

Goldenbear · 24/01/2025 12:11

There are not 'their are'

Goldenbear · 24/01/2025 12:16

Branleuse · 24/01/2025 10:16

I think you are looking at as a task you and your son have been told to achieve.
I don't think it's helpful to think of it as childs fault or schools fault.
I would be surprised in 100min lessons that the rest of the class were focused all the way through, but this is what the teachers are having to try and get them all to do.
I think that if they have suggested asking the senco if he can get authorization for brain breaks or a fiddle toy, then do that.

If he needs extra support to do this then you have to try and arrange that.

Why put a label on it though, seems completely unnecessary if he is doing well, taking a sledge hammer to crack a nut! This approach generates so much extra work and therefore money needed to fund this approach and it's making him a victim of something which he isn't as it is completely regular behaviour.

Wendolino · 24/01/2025 12:25

TidydeskTidymind · 24/01/2025 09:36

She's really not.

Oh yes, she really is. That'll be what everyone in the staffroom thinks.

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