She doesn't speak English - pointless meeting up

[Dannnyy]

My brother recently got engaged, he and his fiancée are coming to visit next week, we have met her briefly but have no relationship with her really.
My parents really want us all to go out for a meal, however she speaks 3 languages none of which are English. I know my brother could just translate and I have school level knowledge of one language. However I think it would be extremely awkward, and just not very fun. Apparently she is learning English but my brother says she's not in any hurry to get "good" at it.

AIBU to think it's pointless meeting for a meal in these circumstances?

Having worked abroad for a good few years with people who struggled to speak English and where I had equal struggles learning the language. The key is short sentences more so than speed. Of course don't speak really fast but also don't do long complicated sentences, break up into short digestible ones. Much easier to follow then

As someone who now lives in a country that is not speaking her 1st language. Your suggestion is good in thee very early stages.

However there comes a point fairly soon in where that becomes frustrating. It hinders your command of the language.
I found it frustrating when people didn't use big words or longer explanations to "support" as it actually hindered my learning.
To me speak as you normally would but clearly .

It's also important to realise everyone learns in a different way so what works well for one is not great for others.

Good point @enko . We were talking about people who don't really speak the language per the OP so was meaning for those people rather than people who have decent command of a language

I really hope your brother isn't going to settle his new wife in your town. Sounds awful.

I met my future husband when I didn't speak a word of his language. He still took me down to meet his family. I learned his language PDQ; they, being small-towners like yourself, never bothered to learn even a few words of English.

I now speak 3 languages, with smatterings of another 2. Your future SIL will, I'm sure, have enough English to get by at first. She sounds intelligent and I'm sure will set to learning and improving her English.

Languages, foreign travel etc are a gift and open the mind to other cultures. Their future children will be hugely blessed.

YABVU

You could try learning a few words in her language. And there is always Google Translate, which is fantastic.

More importantly, try and have a bit of empathy for HER and how she must be feeling. Meeting the family is nerve-wracking enough without a language barrier!

I'm pleased to see you are considering learning a couple of phrases! You won't regret it 😁 I've been learning French for a couple of years now and found an app called Reverso which is so much better than Google Translate in helping you make sentences in French. 🇫🇷 Bonne Chance!

Please read the OP's updates. She has acknowledged how unreasonable she has been.

I would leave most of the conversation to my parents if they are also there and insisting on this meeting.

The conversational burden is not all on you. It's on all the 5-6 adults there. I'd think of one specific thing to ask her -her job etc and not worry much more. Surely she isn't that bothered about how she will speak to you all?

I did have a meal out with a work colleague and his wife -both non English. I don't think she spoke so we had a chat that included the whole table "things to do in london" and she nodded a lot. Luckily my partner also there. It was a bit draining doing most of the conversation.

Coffee would have been better over a meal.

My bil’s english isn’t great and I don’t have proper conversations as it would be too hard but I do at least ask him if he wants a cup of tea etc. It would be incredibly rude to refuse to be in his company because of it.

Wow, you're so unreasonable! He's excited about his relationship with her, and keen to share his happiness with his family. And this is what he gets? And how do you think she'd feel about your comments? And him for that matter. Yes, he can translate, and yes it might be more difficult as you can't speak the languages she speaks (she's a very clever lady by the sound of it!). However, how do you see the future meet ups? Will you always avoid them because of this? I'm sure she's planning to learn your language. Why don't you try to learn hers? You know, being respectful?

Why don't you bother to read her updates before commenting, its not hard.

Wow, you're so unreasonable not to read the OP's updates!