She doesn't speak English - pointless meeting up

[Dannnyy]

My brother recently got engaged, he and his fiancée are coming to visit next week, we have met her briefly but have no relationship with her really.
My parents really want us all to go out for a meal, however she speaks 3 languages none of which are English. I know my brother could just translate and I have school level knowledge of one language. However I think it would be extremely awkward, and just not very fun. Apparently she is learning English but my brother says she's not in any hurry to get "good" at it.

AIBU to think it's pointless meeting for a meal in these circumstances?

Don’t be cunty. Make the effort to welcome her into your family.

Fair play to you, OP, for taking the answers on board and being willing to give it a go. Some posters clearly haven't read the whole thread before replying!

@Enko

He has learned some of my 1st.language mainly a beer please and mother in law.

This is adorable! 😁

Makes me laugh when english people always think it is every one else's responsibility to learn their language. Sign up to Duolingo and improve your french. It's free. Be a bit adventurous and do something out of your comfort zone. Maybe you and your new sister in law can get together and help each other out.

I don't have professional experience here @User757373 but I do know a fair few people who are fluent in 3 languages (or more) but not English. Quite a few of those are DH's extended family. They tend to underplay rather than overplay it - if one of his relatives says (s)he speaks three languages it's a fair bet that it's actually more. DH's grandfather and DH spoke to each other in English - and grandfather had learned 6 other languages fluently before he started on English.

DH has a fair few relatives who speak 3/4 languages but not much or any English - a couple of great aunts, for example. He had one great aunt who he couldn't speak to directly much, because although he speaks reasonable French (he's bilingual, but French is a third), her French tended to be mixed up with other languages and he couldn't always follow.

I can see where you're coming from, I've done it with brothers in laws and they didn't speak English and it was bloody painful and awkward even though we tried to make it fun so yanu for not wanting to go but I feel you kind of have to go if she is to become your sis in law and as support for your parents, best of luck

God, you're miserable, poor woman!

Please read the OP's updates.

How quick to judge without taking the time to read all the ops responses, btw she sounds like a lovely person unlike you 😘

Not everyone wants to travel. My overseas holidays consist of one to Corfu and a few to the US and I hope I never have to set foot in an airport again, travelling is too much hassle.

I would however meet my future sister in law - although it might be hard work to start with I'm sure it would improve.

I love that you did that, OP, and I bet your brother was (secretly) thrilled. I’m sure you’ll all have a great time.

It's strange that a Northern town is so mono cultural. There's usually minority groups living in them.

Find out what her post-grad is. Three languages and completing an MA? Or could be PhD if you ask your DB. A SiL with a brain the size of a planet and you're worried about a language difference?
I hail from a mining/ceramic town and we aren't as insular as your place seems to be.
AND I get by in France,Italy and Spain with language skills. Because I have a GCSE in French and taught myself Italian and Spanish . Because I'm not a knob.

AND I get by in France,Italy and Spain with language skills. Because I have a GCSE in French and taught myself Italian and Spanish . Because I'm not a knob.

So if you can't 'get by' in France, Italy and Spain with language skills you're a knob? And the OP isn't a knob if you bothered to read her last update 🙄

Some are though. DH is from Northumberland and the towns nearest to his village have very few people that are obviously from ethnic minorities.

The main reason is lack of work opportunities.

There are some very odd posts on this thread.

Lots of northern towns are largely monocultural. They aren't all Lancashire mill towns that now have large non-white populations.

And it's entirely possible for someone to speak three languages fluently and not English. I could for example easily imagine someone Spanish speaking Catalan and Italian alongside Castilian but not English.

Which northern towns, in your experience, are largely mono cultural?

Right. Which towns are these?

I know you're not sleeping me, but how about Harrogate? Skipton? Whitby? I could go on...

So wildly ignorant it must be trolling.

Embarrassing.

After posting above, I was interested enough to have a quick Google. Apparently the North East of England has the fewest immigrants in the UK (by quite a long way).

Might be the accent😂

I was top of the class through school and high-school. I had total breakdown after arriving to mid south england area because I did not understand what people were saying😂 As PP said. RP English at schools.

On a serious nkte, maybe industry. Lots of immigrants came in for industry jlbs or even were brought in. More Midlands iirc

Many small tpwns have 0.1% of foreign born. It shouldn't be a surprise. Immigrant always first moved where jobs were aka bigher cities with industries

Rothbury, Alnwick, Morpeth, Ashington

You don't have to be "foreign born" to be a member of an ethnic minority group, and speak another language.

I'm not sleeping you, it's true 😄
Harrogate and Skipton? I've heard other languages spoken there, I don't know if it was Polish or otter eastern European.
Anyway. It doesn't really matter - the OP hasn't come across it, so she obviously doesn't mix in those circles. Whatever.