To be annoyed with teacher re inappropriate language

[shoogalypeg]

My DD 8 has an ongoing feud with a girl in her class which came to a head today so DD and her friend got told off for arguing with the girl (no issues there, I don’t know how teachers cope dealing with the petty stuff kids fight about) the problem is she told the girls to “stop being bitchy”

my issue is:

1. This is totally unprofessional language for a teacher to be using
2. Sexist language like this has no place in schools

now do I have a word with this teacher directly and risk getting things escalating (we’ve had issues in the past) or should I go directly to the headteacher to deal with it.

(for what it’s worth DD doesn’t tell fibs and is BEGGING me not to say anything as she fears reprisals from this teacher)

Weird thread. Feel like I’m in the Daily Mail comment section.

bitchy is a sexist word and it’s never described for boys. Presumably the teacher is a grown up and can handle the OP pointing out that it’s not the best choice of language.

Or are we never allowed to challenge teachers ever?

@LostMyLanyard seriously, I'm surprised by that. A number of children overheard a teacher moaning about my kids ' special needs' . He is Autistic. I knew this was a battle not worth having when just getting through school in this climate will be a joy as far as I'm concerned. I'm a huge advocate all day for my child and really do ask for what he needs often. But I understand people are human and sometimes these things are just too much when they're trying to get through the day and teach 30 kids.

A pattern of behaviour that I don't like then fair enough.

I'm a primary school teacher and I work with 5/6 year olds and oh my goodness I have a group of girls this year that constantly fall out, tell tales, make faces at eachother & make mean remarks about eachother. They fall in and out with eachother every other day and it is exhausting! I have other ongoing issues in the class, lots of SEN and when they complain to me in the middle of me dealing with various other issues in a noisy chaotic classroom I can find it hard to be sympathetic. One of the children also accused the TA of telling her to go away and stop her whinging. Told her mum and also told me. This 100% didn't happen. This lady would never have used this language. Sometimes what the child perceives to be the truth is totally wrong. They might not realise they are lying as it's what they believe to be true. Always always speak to the adult involved first. I have seen many many children lie, twist the truth, exaggerate, miss out information etc etc and sometimes not meaning to. Speak to the teacher.

This is the perfect solution.

@JandamiHash I genuinely pull my son up if I hear him engage in bitchy behaviour. I've used the word bitchy to describe behaviour I've observed him and others engage in before.

I wouldn't be a teacher if we were paid in 1000 carat diamonds

I agree with speaking to the teacher about your daughter being told to ignore the girl. I just wanted to suggest if your daughter is assaulted by that child again go in and have another meeting about it. And encourage the other parents to do the same. Put a bit of pressure on the school, let them know letting her constantly getting away with bad behaviour has been noticed. And if possible have them in different classes next year.

It is used to boys. When they are being bitchy.

Anyway who cares whether it's used to boys/ girls or both? Let's leave the op on her high horse, which she won't be on when the teacher goes off sick and her daughter is taught by a supply teacher.

I use the word bitchy to describe male and female behaviour. I am a fully committed feminist. I don't see the word as being sexist or misogynist in any way.

I also don't see it as being inappropriate. It's not a swear word and it's become such common parlance in the media and so on that I wouldn't consider it shocking or unprofessional for a teacher to use it in the classroom.

I am a very experienced teacher and I wouldn't bat an eyelid at a colleague using the word in front of students, and I have certainly used it myself. I think you're being incredibly precious, OP.

If you want to discuss the incident with the teacher, I would focus on discussing how she will support your daughter and her friend to manage their feelings about each other in a healthy and productive way. Don't try and police another adult's language usage just because you think it's sexist - that's an opinion, not a fact.

Another person who uses the word bitchy for both males and females. I really think you should let this one slide. And seeing as your daughter is begging you to not say anything, I defo wouldn't.

Can’t see that describing behaviour as bitchy particularly awful if it describes it accurately! Don’t see a huge issue with a whinging child to be told not to whinge. Ridiculous over reaction, I’d be more concerned with my daughter’s relationship difficulties at school and how she should deal with this. Poor teacher, little girls can be horrible to each other and it’s very difficult to resolve. Teachers are leaving in droves, this sort of thing is a contributing factor.

for those of you advising OP to have a word, i wouldnt be surprised if the next time you make a small cock up at work someone pulls you to the side to make you feel really crap about it, worse still if they go straight to your boss. karma can be quite bitchy

I work in customer service and if I made a “small cock up” like this I’d be on a disciplinary but it’s perfectly fine to talk like this to impressionable kids?

I’ve decided to have a quiet word with her and see how that goes.

Yes teachers are just human but there’s a reason they’re held to a higher standard

I’ve worked in customer services where I’ve been sworn at repeatedly and even threatened and I’ve not ONCE used this kind of language with a customer

@shoogalypeg it's not the same. I highly doubt your job is as pressured as teaching. The research shows this

and if this escalates and that teacher gets a disciplinary will that be a proportionate measure for her mistake? I would if I were you, ask your DD to inform you if it happens again and then take action if you still feel strongly. once a mistake, twice not.

But the girls were being bitchy. Maybe they'll stop now it's been pointed out to them. I couldn't get het up about this. Definitely don't say anything to the teacher. You need to tell your DD to stop the petty feud with the other girl and behave in school. The teacher is probably sick to the back teeth of their ridiculous behaviour.

And people like you are the reason Teachers are leaving in their droves.

People leave their careers because they can't call 8 year olds bitchy?

Seriously?? I honestly couldn't get my knickers in a twist about this....I'd be more interested in my one daughters behaviour that lead to a teacher using that word.

It's almost like you're trying to deflect the wrong doing

But there is nothing wrong with using the word bitchy.

It's not a swear word.

It's not discriminatory.

You therefore have zero grounds for complaining about a teacher using this in front of a class.

You may personally think it's not an appropriate word to use, but many people would disagree with you and I think the teacher's union would have something to say if you went into the school and started making noises about her being disciplined for using it.

You're being ridiculous. You really need to let this go and focus on the conflict between your daughter and this other girl in the class rather than getting het up about the teacher's choice of perfectly innocuous language.

If you had to be in a room with these customers 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, then maybe, just maybe a slightly inappropriate word might come out in frustration and exasperation.

This made me chuckle and reminded me of the time that a mum came into school, furious, saying her 6yo son had said he wasn't doing Maths at school! I mean, really.

I'm all for believing your children but sometimes you need to have some common sense! Of course, I could easily show her all the work in his book and it wasn't a big deal in the end, but I could have done without the furious approach.

Huh? What you on about? Read it again.

Anyone who’s ever owned a female dog with a high opinion of herself (and a low opinion of other bitches) knows that “bitchy” is descriptive, not sexist.

i can’t see the issue with this, it’s a word with a meaning and assuming they were being bitchy, this wouldn’t upset me too much!