To be annoyed with teacher re inappropriate language

[shoogalypeg]

My DD 8 has an ongoing feud with a girl in her class which came to a head today so DD and her friend got told off for arguing with the girl (no issues there, I don’t know how teachers cope dealing with the petty stuff kids fight about) the problem is she told the girls to “stop being bitchy”

my issue is:

1. This is totally unprofessional language for a teacher to be using
2. Sexist language like this has no place in schools

now do I have a word with this teacher directly and risk getting things escalating (we’ve had issues in the past) or should I go directly to the headteacher to deal with it.

(for what it’s worth DD doesn’t tell fibs and is BEGGING me not to say anything as she fears reprisals from this teacher)

Weird, I thought birch was a species of tree. 😂

This. Do NOT go straight to the head teacher..that is a total over reaction. An ongoing feud suggests that there are 2 girls in this? This isn't all the teachers job to sort out.

Meh. I teach secondary and told one of my Y11 pupils that her comment (outside lesson time) was "bitcheeeee..." They half-heartedly tried to say I was swearing (which they would have found hilarious rather than offensive). I looked it up in the dictionary and bitch is offensive, bitchy is informal. I.e. not a swear word. Not ideal, but the teacher was probably fed up

Reasons my kid’s behaviour isn’t the issue here actually and it’s all the teachers fault number 998.

To be honest as parents we would probably say the same, I don't see an issue

I’m with the OP (though not sure that speaking to the Head is the right way to go) If my 8 year old came home and told me that her teacher had used the word ‘bitchy’ in any context I would be horrified. Even ignoring the sexist nature it’s just completely inappropriate to use that word in a primary school classroom. I can only assume those thinking it’s fine are the sort of parents who think 8 year olds watching ‘Wednesday’ and ‘Love Island’ are also perfectly fine.

I’m a Secondary School teacher of over 20 years and I’m pretty blunt with the kids but I wouldn’t use that word in the classroom. Teachers should be setting examples not dragging kids into the gutter with them.

And no this is not the reason teachers are leaving the profession in droves, it’s because the decline in actual parenting and standards of language and behaviour in children has meant kids don’t see anything wrong in calling teachers bitches, whores and cunts. And that sort of thing starts when parents encourage words like bitchy as perfectly normal conversational phrases.

AllIwantedwasanMOT

so your use of the word was questioned as inappropriate and yet you think it was fine to use it to a child 8 years younger?

Bugger! And too late to change it now! 😆

JustHoldOnOneMinute · Today 22:02

I think it is fair to raise it with the teacher. Be prepared that your daughter might not be lying but could still have got the wrong end of the stick.
I once announced a Maths competition and then was, about ten minutes later, teaching about Upanayana ceremonies (a Hindu boys coming of age ceremony). A girl asked if she could do it and I said it was only for boys. Then she went home and complained I'd set up a Maths competition only for boys.
I have had a child complain that I was giving out maps with the N-word (Niger, on a map of Africa).

Oh indeed. I told my 5s that people who eat only celery will starve before people who eat nothing at all, and explained why. One mother complained that I had told her DD that celery was poisonous.

Really, if this is all OP has to complain about, if her DD is receiving a good education (the teacher's primary function, after all), then she is being precious, Just stop moaning. The teacher didn't call her a bitch, she told them to "stop being bitchy to each other", apparently. If she had said "stop being nasty/horrible to each other", would you have taken it that the teacher said she was "nasty"or "horrible"? Girls use the term all the time among themselves. Over sensitive parents...honestly. If the teacher is replaced next year by a series of cover staff, don't be surprised.

I’d be far more worried about that than the language.

On going feuds at 8? You are having a laugh, aren't you?

This. People have no idea how hard teaching is. Moany parents are that straw that broke the camel's back.

JandamiHash · Today 21:45

Imagine calling an 8yo bitchy. If a human being, especially a teacher, can’t find a better word then I question their intelligence

This, precisely.
Quod erat demonstrandum.

I’d be concerned that there may have been a bit of bullying going on here from your dd and her friend towards the other girl too. Whilst you might want to go in guns blazing against the teacher, please don’t overlook the role your dd may have had in this, and have a talk with her about bullying. If the teacher did actually say what she did, it does indicate that there may have been some nasty behaviour going by your dd and her friend which needs to be nipped in the bud.

Sounds like a case of deflecting away from your daughter's poor behaviour

It was inappropriate choice of language by the teacher, yes, and I can see why it has upset/annoyed you. But in the grand scheme of things not worth going in and complaining about, especially as your daughter is begging you not to - listen to her.

I'm eagerly awaiting the day when parents' incessant teacher-bashing reaches its inevitable conclusion and there is no one in the country who is willing to teach.

Exactly, all this fuss over something that no one really knows even happened!

We're in a dangerous place now where we can't hold public sector workers to account because they have it oh so harder than the rest of us so mustn't challenge them!

OP is right, it's not appropriate, I'd be lodging it with teacher first- this "oh they're stretched so let it go" malarkey is a slippery slope

My job is hard, there are still standards I'm expected to keep. I expect to be reprimanded if not.

I honestly think inappropriate/ rude speech has become so normalised in society that teachers are probably like the rest of the population and don’t even think any more, there should be training in workplaces about inappropriate speech/ language/ text (kind of I the same way I had to once tell a training student how to finish off an email to a very high up member of the company who wouldn’t have appreciated the ‘cos’ and ‘Tks’!

Teaching standards are not good enough

I don’t honestly know about that, if you look at the content, the projects they do, the things they talk about-they seem to do good work, it’s more if the population curses or uses inappropriate language as a whole it seems to have slipped into all the professional places too

Oh, the irony of this contribution.
If we were allowed to teach ( instead of spending at least 50% of the allocated teaching time on minutiae - no equipment, lateness, separating fights, etc), teaching standards would be so much higher.

Dear Teacher,

I am disgusted with your choice of language about my daughter and her adversary and wish to formally raise it as an issue

1. This is totally unprofessional language for a teacher to be using
2. Sexist language like this has no place in schools

Blah Blah Blah

Dear Parent

Noted