My whole family forgot my birthday

[Oopsadaisy92]

Kind of light hearted but my brother, my parents and most importantly my DH have all forgotten to wish me happy birthday today. At time of writing it's 14.30.

Just to confirm my birthday is on the 22nd of January... I haven't got my dates mixed up and it's like the 21st today or something??

Also - any ideas on being petty? I feeling like letting them all know at this point needs something big so it doesn't look desperate for attention 🤣

He should have organised something before he went eg hidden a present and card (or given it to you) to open on the day, sent flowers to arrive, something, anything

Yeah that’s the kind of things my partner would do if he was going to be unavoidably away on my birthday. I find it surprising he had no plan for her in this day and age of being able to order online.

Perhaps OP and her husband never do anything for each others birthday though . But I do feel if that’s the case in some
ways it makes it even more sad he couldn’t do the bare minimum which is to send her a happy birthday text.

I had a (now former) friend a bit like this, despite knowing me most of her life she’d forgotten my birthday multiple times whereas I’d remember hers and often would attend her kids bday parties with presents. I got her a lovely present that she was gushing over for her milestone birthday too.

Looking back I was a bit of a mug but I caught on eventually as even the years when she did remember it would be a short dry text like she was texting a colleague on their birthday rather than a heartfelt text or a call to a close friend on their special day and never a card or present.

She got really offended when I stopped giving anything to her kids or attending their birthday parties and I didn’t bother at all on her last milestone birthday. But I’m not here for one sided friendships and relationships. She would always be “so sorry” when I pointed out she forgot my birthday but It’s very telling ultimately she couldn’t tolerate the same treatment she dished out.

Op, this man is NOT very caring, at all. This not okay. It would be a cold day in hell before I put up with this…

It’s One day a year. One day you have to show up. It can leave someone feeling pretty worthless to forget their birthday. Assuming he manages day to day life, flights etc and isn’t very special needs - how could he possibly forget? It’s not that important to him that’s why.

I'm also surprised it hasn't come up in conversation in the past few weeks, not in a hinting way just general chat. Eg I'm taking the day off for my birthday, or shall we go out for dinner. Plan what you want to do for your birthday and tell others you want involved, that's my way. Then you're never disappointed because people didn't match your expectations or forgot.

We were joined at the hip in childhood and were close in the sense of texting quite frequently as adults, talking about everything and anything and being quite uplifting to each other! She was never deliberately spiteful to me but I think she just didn’t care as much - but for some reason had this expectation that I should prioritise her.

I’d also become someone she trauma dumped and leaned quite heavily on in a practical sense eg, borrowing money off me multiple times and subtly expecting me to pay for coffees etc when we met up. I overlooked some stuff as I was in a better financial position than her, but looking back it was a bit odd as I was a single woman whereas she had a live in partner who was the father of her kids but she demanded very little of him.

I must say it wasn’t all bad though, and I’m sure she listened to me bang on about stuff too! We had a similar sense of humour and some brilliant times especially growing up together! I don’t regret our friendship but at the same time the lack of reciprocity became unacceptable to me over time.

I’m glad I let things fall away when I did rather than dragging it out and feeling resentful
that while things were great as kids she was never going to be the friend I wanted as an adult.

I thought it was amusing when I first read the OP's post, but after a whole birthday of her being disappointed I've changed my mind.

You know when you're someone's top priority, you also know when you've slipped down the list and you're being taken for granted. It's painful.

Still, he remembered the dog......

OP has stated multiple times that she mentioned her birthday to her husband the day before.

They discussed it several times in the days leading up to it. Have you read the OP’s updates?

I've had the exact same for the past ten years, it's depressing isn't it. My cure? I treat myself to something nice, and forget to cook etc that day!

Yup

I figure if any of them thought anything of me they'd remember.. they haven't and still don't., mine was 20th Jan! Not a word. So I treat myself and do jack all at home that day! :-) You'd think they'd notice the lack of food/chores done, the fact I curl up with wine when I can afford it ( not this year sadly) and watch a film with headphones on, but no, goes un-noticed! Doesn't bother me now, it's gone from just another day to a ME day!

Indeed not!

OMG what did @Stanamdrupert say to get them deleted so much?

You know what surprises me? although it happens so bloody much it really shouldn't People not bothering to read op's updates in their haste to stick their oar in.