To continue calling DD by the name I gave her

[bannsise]

My DD is 22, her first name is Isabella, I chose the name as I love it and think it’s very pretty. Since she was little I’d always call her Isabella or Bella, her dad who I wasn’t with called her “Isa” (ee-sa).
As a teen she insisted I didn’t call her Bella, I happily just used Isabella.
Now she is insisting I call her Isa, she says she doesn’t like Isabella, no one apart from me has called her it in 10+ years. She also complains I say it wrong anyway (her dad is European and pronounces it ee-sa-bell-a, I say is-a-bell-a). I replied that I can’t say her name wrong as I picked it!!

AIBU to say I will continue to call her Isabella (with the English pronunciation) and not by Isa as that isn’t the name I chose for her and I don’t like it.

If I was your daughter I'd have very little to do with you. Why can't you respect her wishes?

She's an adult.
Are you willing to let this affect your relationship with her?

Yes, you're not being entirely unreasonable to want to use her full name but it's not a hill to die on

She isn't asking you to call her by a different name but by an abbreviation of her name. Lots of people have preferences for that same as dome have preferences not to have it shortened.

The difference between issa and eesa is slight and there's no need to alter your pronunciation particularly but you would be doing the reasonable thing to use the requested shortening.

Sure, but don’t expect to say it often as it’s doubtful she’ll spend much time around you when you can’t respect her wishes

You might have chosen it but it’s her name - you should respect what she wants to be called.

I haven’t answered to my full name for years (since I was about 7 I think) conversely my DD won’t answer to anything but her full name.

Suggest you call your adult daughter the name she prefers.

It is her name, not yours. My mum is the only one who calls me by my full name and it annoys me tbh. The name is a gift and once the child is old enough to decide for themselves, that is what I use.

At her age you'll have to do as she asks other wise you're going to do damage to the relationship between you. Even though you picked the name, you gave it to her and it's up to her how she wants to be addressed.

I wouldn't let this affect your relationship with her, after all she is an adult. But I understand your frustration, you named her that's her name but she's chosen to use her nickname,

How often do you actually need to say her name? I have two DDs in their 20s and I don’t regularly have to say their name.

One of mine shortened her name … doesn’t bother me.

Imagine if someone insisted on calling you a name you didn’t like and/or didn’t relate to??!

I'd call her it .... I'd also ask her daily what interest rate she was currently offering.

I'd do as she asks, perhaps she's after consistency. Also, when you often get called by a shortened form of your name, hearing your full name may remind you of school... or a formal situation. I get your disappointment, but she has to live with the name. She's still young. She may go back to Isabella in time.

I understand where you’re coming from, but I think you need to ask yourself what’s more important here: being in the right (in your mind), or maintaining a good relationship with your daughter. If you insist on calling her by a name she doesn’t want to use, she’s going to feel like you won’t listen to her when it comes to other things.

My DC uses one of their middle names. They prefer it to their first name. That’s fine by me!

I thought this was gonna be much worse - plenty of kids completely change their names now so this is very mild really. She still wants to be called her name and it's only you holding out for the version she doesn't like and no one else calls her. There's no way you should carry on with your own wishes overruling her because of some power trip of picking it. Just call her Isa. It's fine and doesn't require an accent.

Your daughter is an adult and can choose what she'd like to be called. If you were my parent and refused to respect my choice then I'd have little to do with you.

It's one of those do you want to be right or do you want to be happy situations.

Well it does require an accent, she’s made it clear “isa” isn’t acceptable and I have to say “eesa”.

She'll really hate you for this. Gently, as i know it's hard to let go of then being our children but Its HER name, not yours. Is it worth her being angry with you?

You gave her the name. It isn't on loan from you, it doesn't belong to you. It is hers. And as such, she can choose to use whatever diminutive / alternative name she likes. Why be a twat about it?

What you’re saying is, “What I want to call her is more important than what she wants to be called.”

Does that sound reasonable to you?

Use the one she wants, my mother insists calling me my full name at times and it grates on me to no end. You may like the name but doesn't mean she does!

If my mother insisted on calling me by my full name, I'd probably have a very difficult relationship with her. Yes, you gave her the name so what. I am sure you don't have much say in her other life choices despite birthing her .. oh, wait. I'm actually not sure of that at all.