To think we're going to have a generation of adults unable to socialise?

[Ezlo]

By that I mean in restaurants. I see so many kids glued to their iPods in restaurants, barely uttering a word to the rest of their family. The future unsettles me.

I don't allow devices at the dinner table!
Or in a restaurant. It's awful looking.

A very similar situation to my own. I just lived in books.

I wish we had the internet back in the 80s, I'd have been so much less bored and so much better informed.

It makes me so sad to see children in prams just blankly gazing into space whilst the parent is glued to phone ot has ear pods in. The ear pods are worse. They are literally choosing music or a podcast over interacting with their baby. Being out in thr pram is a lovely time to chat about things you see - dogs, leaves, people. Some of my best memories are being out and about with my ds in his pram. I would do a running commentary of what we were seeing /doing then later we would chat about everything. He could hold a full conversation by the time he was 2. He's 19 now and obviously has and uses a mobile but also wishes we were back in the nineties with no/minimal phone use.

nothing new under the sun https://www.ssdsbergen.org/news-detail?pk=952011#:~:text=“Our%20youth%20now%20love%20luxury,when%20elders%20enter%20the%20room.

I think it’s just a snap shot. My eldest is frequently found glued to his phone. However he can communicate, every meal is eaten at a table with no devices at home. He plays in an orchestra, goes to army cadets which require communication skills and working in a team . I’m capable of communicating but will also entertain myself with a phone when out and about. Just because you do one thing doesn’t necessarily mean that other things are excluded.

Agree with you Op. My DC just about pre-date the profusion of ipads etc, and I am so glad of it. As little children, they learned to sit in cafes and restaurants, walk around supermarkets, sit on trains etc without the need of a screen to stun them into submission. I used to carry around sticker books in case I needed a distraction activity, but there is something about a screen that cuts the user off from their environment almost entirely in a way that a comic or colouring book or similar does not. My teens and their friends are articulate and social. I do wonder about the skills of those coming up right behind them.

I was at an airport waiting before Xmas. The plane was delayed. A dad sat with his daughter must have been about four years old. He didn’t speak to her for the entire time. He just stared at his phone. We were waiting for over an hour. An hour!!!

Yes I do see your point (sorry if I seem like I don’t it’s just my mind sees things a certain way !)

I hate hearing the loud noises from whichever show they're watching or game they're playing. Wouldn't mind as much if they had headphones on. My 18 month old doesn't tantrum as we bring her other stuff to entertain her.

My bus commute is very anti social. Everyone is on their phones and sometimes they'revery noisy with it! Before phones I remember when everyone would speak to each other on the bus regardless of whether they knew each other. It still happens where I live amongst the old ladies. I always think how bloody weird the world we live in has become.

not sure where you live but I’m 48 and have taken buses all my life and people have never chatted to randoms.

A bus commute isn’t a social occasion for most people - I can’t bear people who expect others to perform to what they want. YOU want to talk so everyone that doesn’t has a problem. Other people are not your support dog

My child is 3 and we don’t find it hard at all to not give him a device. He’s never had an iPad/phone in a restaurant. He watches telly at home but no access to anything else. He’s growing up similarly to how I did. It’s nothing spectacular - I just go off the mantra that we never needed these things and we managed to go on buses/go to cafes and restaurants.

But I think sometimes when parents have fallen into that trap, it must be hard to come out of it. Once into that routine it becomes expectation - if they don’t give the device, the child causes major disruption and they feel they need to placate the child so as not to bother people around them? Such a vicious circle. It’s easy to judge but also I understand how it can happen 😟

I’m also a teacher in infants and see first hand the effect of screens on children’s communication (so many cannot speak and I teach 5/6 year olds) their focus and, saddest of all, their curiosity. 😔

I don't think young children have ever had any interest in talking to distant adult relatives, though.

I remember being dragged out to visit relatives as a child in the nineties and being bored out of my skull. I certainly didn't sit there and engage in interesting conversation, I mostly had my head in a book or sat there with some colouring or stickers.

Some folk just don't particularly enjoy socialising. That's ok.

I agree really. I’m an 80’s child and didn’t get a phone until I was about 21 and of course it was very basic. You couldn’t spend hours on it unlike now.

Humans are going to create their own demise. The greed, arrogance and self importance of some of the world leaders for example. The cutting edge technology, oh yeas that’s great but there is a price to pay for that and I agree it’s not necessary positive for humankind….

The need for the latest technology, the destruction of the atmosphere and the real consequences of climate change. Just look
at LA, that’s likely contributed by the increase in temperatures. Flooding, causing so many to flee their homes, drought, whereby crops don’t grow so more peope are left starving.

I think in 500 years from now, humans will be just about wiped out, thanks to selfishness of some humans.

Completely agree; you literally cannot win with these people. They always have the most dysfunctional relationships with their own grown up dcs too, which they think is great. In reality their dc is in therapy, shares a surface level relationship, and has a million issues with their childhood. To the parent everything was great, no ipads back then and little Timothy would sit silently at a meal, or engage in adult conversational topics.

God, exactly. I can't think of anything worse than having to sit and chat to a total stranger on a bus, haha.

I used to travel by bus and train quite a lot - headphones were a permanent accessory to block out the noise of the folk who seemed to think public transport was the best place to catch up on the gosdip of the day/ week/month! No doubt some folk labelled me antisocial then. 🤣

Maybe so, but now there isn't even an expectation to be polite or try and engage. Nothing can compete with the games on their devices. It was a bit disheartening when the gifts I got them for Christmas barely got a look at. Ah well.

I found it extremely sad when visiting my relatives and their young children under ten years of age had zero interest in communicating with me as they were glued to games on their devices. After asking questions and getting a brief "yes/no" before returning to their devices I gave up and now sorry to say have no interest in maintaining a relationship with them beyond sending gifts at birthdays etc.

that sounds like the perfect relationship for a kid to be fair. Presents and no contact.

@bozzabollix your son has the right idea, 90s rave was amazing.

Socialing in restaurants is hardly an important life skill. Children didn't even go to restaurants when I was a child.

I was one of those children too. I didn't need tech to be asocial and inward-looking, all I needed was my voracious reading habit and plenty of books to feed it with. And you're right, it really wasn't different insofar as I deeply resented anyone and anything that came between me and my book. My tendency to get lost in it to the exclusion of everything else caused me plenty of trouble, but I don't remember being told that my obsession was part of some sort of mass pathology that would destroy society. To be fair, it was probably qualitatively different to the tendency to doomscroll that I have to work so hard to control now, but I'm not sure it was any more virtuous or made me so.

As for your first point: no, I can't remember that either. A few people chatted in waiting areas and at bus-stops, but they do now. The ones who don't, might be looking at their phones, but equally they might not. And if they are. . .if you know your GP is running 30 minutes late, it's a perfect opportunity to set up your online grocery order for the week, or do a Wordle or Sudoku puzzle.

Plenty of couples in restaurants sit looking at their phones throughout the meal and don't say a word to each other.

Far too many people obsessed with their phones

Generation X were often left outside the pub with a Panda Pop and a bag of crisps, but I don't think we have had any problem socialising.

I see this a lot in restaurants already, couples having a meal out, not talking, both scrolling through their phones. 😕