To think we're going to have a generation of adults unable to socialise?

[Ezlo]

By that I mean in restaurants. I see so many kids glued to their iPods in restaurants, barely uttering a word to the rest of their family. The future unsettles me.

I think, considering all of the distractions of the past are still available, that phones/tech are a level of addiction beyond reading or colouring. People are on phones scrolling, not sitting around colouring or even reading a book.
Reading this thread it seems a lot of adults are fine with kids and adults using a lot of tech. I might have judged this but I am going to try not to in future.
It wouldn't be my choice for how people live/interact but it clearly works for some people and is not my business.
I would question though if it is addictive and if everyone is living their best lives/getting joy from scrolling phones. And if it is replacing other more varied activities.
Personally I use screens too much and I think my teenagers do as well. When I asked DS (15) what his friends who weren't gaming were doing "right now", he said "probably drinking vodka in the park". So.....
It's all about balance for me and the people around me.

I would question though if it is addictive and if everyone is living their best lives/getting joy from scrolling phones

What is "living your best life" though?

Most of us can't spend our lives doing things that bring us joy - we have jobs, children, responsibilities - so if using a phone gives someone a bit of a break from the mundane, who is anyone else to judge that?

IPods? Have you travelled in time from 2008?

But YABU. Adults go on their phones during meals and they are still socialising. Expecting kids to do nothing but engage in adult conversation for hours is a bit unrealistic.

I really don’t understand why someone cares how another person raises their kid. My kids have had iPads in restaurants now and again. Not sorry and no fucks given. No different from having colouring to do.

I don’t really understand this post - should parents be forever talking to their kids in prams? Mine are out the pram stages now but aside from the fact I’d have to shout through a busy town centre, it would have overstimulated them.

I was once pushing a pram with DS in and as we were visiting a nearby city I was on my phone booking our return train. An older woman said to her friend “They’re even glued to their phones when pushing prams!”. I stopped and asked her if she had a problem, and if so to discuss it with me directly rather than making comments to her mate. She soon stuttered and scuttled off. Perhaps think before judging that EVERYTHING, even booking transport, or sorting tickets, or reserving a space on somewhere to eat, involves a phone. Or did you think everyone was just on TikTok all the time?

I also think that we need to remember once upon a time TV watching was blamed for all sorts of problems. Certain types of music before that. Now it’s phone/tablets. When actually that’s a lazy assumption and the truth is so complex as to why people are lonely or anti-social, and I think phones are perhaps a tiny party of the problem.

People regularly see me on the bus or in a cafe or other places on my phone instead of interacting with my child. I’ve not spent more than a few hours apart from her for 6 years, sometimes I need a break from interacting with her.

This. Commuting is pretty much the only time I have for podcasts or music, I’m not spending it chatting with strangers.

By the time they come of age, everyone will be living in individual pods with just a device and an internet connection, as the climate will have become unlivable and lawless gangs will have seized power over mainstream society. They'll be grand.

Yes, exactly.

Screens get a lot of abuse as they're so visible and you can clearly see when someone is using one.

There’s a world of difference!

But it’s also absolutely fine to not want some stranger to talk to you

What is the difference, then?

I think reading back we might perhaps be on the same page actually, apologies. My point was it’s ok to ignore people in person AND at your door. But someone at your door feels so much more personal as is inviting someone into your home than just seeing them in the street

Yep, those are my thoughts too! :)

I agree. I work at a hospital and if a parent comes in with their teenage child (16-18 for example), I always speak to the child patients to try and get them used to speaking to adults in the real world. Often when I say ‘what’s your date of birth or first line of your address’ they just look terrified and um and ah before looking to mummy for help! It’s shocking. 😮

Speaking as a hardcore extrovert married to a hardcore introvert, I think it’s easy to mistake “unsociable” or “shy” with “introverted”. Understanding and accepting introverted people is the norm now, thankfully, but I think a lot of people write these people off as shy/rude/don’t like people

This is why I basically forced my kids to order their own food in a restaurant from the age of about 5. Speaking to strangers or people giving a service is a great life skill. I was a very shy child who wouldn’t speak to a lot of people outside my circle and it took a LOT of undoing in adulthood

I was bookish too and shy and don’t remember people chatting on the bus!

I like a chat with a shop assistant or someone in a queue but then some days I just want to be left alone.

The problem is many people on this thread who are apparently “sad” all the time, are so dim they make a snap judgement that because someone doesn’t talk on the bus or checks their phone for the 10 seconds of exposure, they must be that way ALL the time.

In turn I wonder if those people are judgmental dicks all of the time or just some of the time 🧐

do you expect parents to spend 12 hours behaving like some sort of blue coat while them or their child is in pain or is upset?

Oh god yes. I’m from an Italian family, and could speak the language as a child buy Visiting family in Italy was sooooo boring. And they’d speak like the clappers, I couldn’t keep up. So it resulted in Lots of sitting about listening to people who I didn’t understand, hour upon hour of swinging my legs in boredom, wanting to be anywhere else, because apparently it was the polite thing to do to perform like a seal for distant relatives you see once in a flood

Im pleased that life is more child centric these days. Also you can’t stop progress. As lovely as growing up in the 80’s and 90’s was, it’s not the 80’s and 90’s and never will be. Technology is the future and it’s just regressive for people to be scared of it

I'm very vocal to my dc's about how bad I think it is to have your child constantly plugged into an iPad and the reasons why as i hate the though if any future grandchildren being brought up like this.

Dont be surprised if you’re not the favoured grandparent then.

Why would you expect "those with headphones" to respond? What difference does it make to you? Strange that you need some sort of validation or comfort from random strangers. People with sensory issues tend to wear headphones purposely to avoid contact with random strangers. Leave them be!

No, I don’t. This was an outpatient appointment, not A&E (hence the mention of the word appointment) and the wait was around 15 minutes, so yes I do expect a parent to be able to entertain their school-aged child quietly without resorting to screens for that short period. I doubt anyone was sick or in pain due to the nature of the clinic - I suspect all the other children were there for the same reason mine was, and he was not sick or in pain.

Yeh so true. You've reminded me of once there were 3 women sitting together in the restroom and i was by myself, two of them were messaging each other. It was so obvious because of the pinging of the phones and they were blatantly doing it, all while the three of them were talking

I 'll try again, I wanted to quote but could not do it.

I agree. 'They'll be grand' made me laugh. I often think if I didn't have children, I would not choose to bring someone into the world now. The future looks bleak.