To think we're going to have a generation of adults unable to socialise?

[Ezlo]

By that I mean in restaurants. I see so many kids glued to their iPods in restaurants, barely uttering a word to the rest of their family. The future unsettles me.

Yes I have to say I remember my parents reading the paper or being fixated on the 6 and 9 pm news and we were told to be silent. My mother was obsessed with her soaps and sent us to bed early ! There wasn’t much interaction. Plus we were glued to our game boys !!!

There wasn't that expectation when I was growing up either, though - kids were basically expected to be "seen and not heard". I certainly didn't sit there and chat or anything beyond basic "nice to see you" "yes, school is fine".

I wasn't remotely interested in the odd gifts I was given either, in all honesty - I was much happier sitting there reading and wishing the time away.

Stick to your guns. Our didn't have any devices (phones, ipads, xbox etc) until year 7 when we let them have phones. I am so glad we were firm on this. So many positives.

Hmm, I expressed genuine gratitude when given gifts as a child. I also engaged with Aunts, Uncles etc as did all of my cousins, and thought that was the norm, but maybe not.

This has always happened, though. Couples sitting in silence and reading the paper, or a magazine, or just staring into space. Phones are just a more convenient thing to carry around, that's all.

It does make my eyes roll a bit when my friends with younger kids say they can’t do a cafe or a restaurant without an I pad because their kids would kick off.. I had mine just before they existed so how do they think parents managed before? We used to take books and colouring stuff, little toys etc, and tried to train them ( from age 2/3) to behave. To be honest there were places I just would take a small child, and that’s fine- it was only a limited amount of time.
My older teens are definitely welded to their phones, which I hate, but interestingly they do yearn for a pre- smart phone era. For example my oldest is trying to go out and socialise in RL more because he wants to meet more girls and says meeting people online is not “real” which I totally support.
There is definitely a sort of hankering after the 90s going on. They are talking about going off camping somewhere remote in the summer and part of me is panicking, thinking “no 4G” whilst the rational part is remembering that I used to go off abroad with no mobile and be uncontactable!

Me too. Yes/no answers were always common back then too. Ipads came in the form of colouring books and toys. Children always complained they were bored, adults spent ages talking amongst themselves, or had their heads buried in newspapers, or take a break magazine's. Dads would grunt, or sigh if were spoken to while reading, Mums would get you to go to the shop, or usher you to go out etc. You were dragged to family events, with distant relatives commenting on how much you have grown. Adults thinking they had made so much effort asking you questions, as they talked over you, half listened, and didn't really want to hear what you had to say. This results in a child shutting down.

Your son sounds fantastic! Can I come to one of his raves? 🤣

What has been dropped from our "shopping basket" to allow us the money to spend on phones and tablets... ipads aren't cheap, and with built in obsolescence we are looking at replacing every couple of years.
Apparently we are all broke, but have hundreds of quids worth of phone or gadget - each... what aren't we buying any more?

Adults are banned, because they need to hide the alcohol and weed.

I think people's definition of "skint" is very different now. Many people at food banks will have children who each have a device as these are now deemed essential rightly or wrongly.

My family were overseas and we weren't remotely close, so any catch-ups were for the benefit of the adults. The kids were just expected to slot in around them and "put up and shut up" to a large extent.

I remember spending hours sitting in relatives bedrooms with my cousins watching TV while the adults chatted in the living room, or going off in a corner to read on my own.

I remember being very, very bored and wishing I was allowed a gameboy or some kind of other distraction. I also remember my mum bribing me with the promise of an ice-cream or a McDonald's afterwards if I was good.

I'm just not convinced that children are any worse today than they ever have been in the past. I also find it interesting that so many posters are spending hours on a Sunday morning complaining about screen overuse, lol.

I don't have kids myself so no hypocrisy here

I am positive about this. I was growing up when there were no mobile phones, never mind Internet. I was glued, literally glued, to my parents' books. (Sounds familiar, does it not - like today's children are glued to their phones). I was eating with a book by my side and my favourite thing was when parents were late from work and I ate alone, with a book. We had a telly, but what I could read was far more interesting. Unfortunately, some books attracted me for the wrong reason at the wrong age - I was 11 years of age when I read the whole of Maupassant (full collected works)(Sounds familiar, does it not - the equivalent of watching nude people or even porn online today). I think today's children will be fine.

On the other side my very unsociable awkward anxious child has come on leaps on bounds now she can communicate with friends at home to and also connect with friends she can’t see very often ( live further away ) I’ve also been able to connect with parents of children who have the same specific interest as her and me and the parents have organised meet ups etc at exhibitions relayed to them and then they have made friends and talk or on the phone etc
we monitor closely and read her all her convos and she doesn’t have any social media pages yet.

but they do play video games with one another and and chat listen to music and every have movie nights 🤣

The only people who would speak to me were creepy men twice my age.

I have over 100 books on my phone, I really don’t see the issue in reading a book on my phone on the bus.

Ha, exactly.

I have vivid memories of my dad telling me to be quiet because he was watching the news, or reading the paper. Also of being dragged into town with my mum and sitting there like a lemon while she chatted with her friends in the street or in the middle of M&S. I also remember having to go find a pay phone a few times and standing there because her bleep had gone off and she had to reply immediately!

My sister works in a pub and says couples regularly come in and both just sit looking at their phones all night, no interaction. In the cinema and theatre you see people scrolling on their phones until the last second.

You don't miss what you've never had though; it is just a different tool to engage the child with. I remember my Grandmother always complaining about children that had to have colouring books etc in restaurants. She used to say the parents were too lazy to interact with their children, because in her day they just sat with nothing.

I always find it funny when people talk about how youths are so bad at school now and I sit here thinking where were you all 20 years ago 🤣🤣
I was in secondary school 20 years ago in London and it’s no worse now
knife crime / gang crime was rife at that point, teen pregnancy was through the roof, drinking / drugs / smoking in the school toilets. Rudeness / fights etc all still existed.

Yes, this resonates with me as in my late teen and friends are definitely thinking of how to reverse this a bit- talk of camping here too!

I probably could have been clearer in my post, but I do keep in mind that I don’t know the full story, and I might be seeing that parent at a point when they’re on their last nerve and doing what they can to not be totally overwhelmed.

However, it is something I see a lot in my area, which makes me wonder if some parents don’t see an issue with it. The problem is it’s really not ideal when in a one to one situation with a young child, as it will impact on their development if it’s a regular thing, both in terms of their communication skills and also their emotional development.

Is this something you do? You’ve reacted quite strongly to my post and lashed out calling me ‘high and mighty’, suggesting you might have taken it personally.

I have zero problem with either of those 😁

There were children parented in the 80's, 90's and 00's who would socialise regularly with their parents, baking, chatting, playing with them, after school, through the day and at mealtimes etc. just as there are many parents today who ensure this happens. I regularly see and hear parents telling their kids screen time is up, no more iPad until tomorrow etc

In the 80's, The parents who prop up screens in front of young kids for several hours a day, would have been kicking them out of the house to play out (something the mumsnet consensus massively disapprove of), telling them to keep their elbows off the table and have good manners (i.e be quiet) at mealtimes, sending them up to their rooms after tea so mum and dad can watch Emmerdale Farm in peace, shipping them out to retired relatives for two weeks every summer.

Little has actually changed except the stage and the props

I was saying this to someone the other day.

More than once I've been in a restaurant where the couple (usually egged on by the woman) pose for a couple of 'fun' selfies, take photos of the menu and the food etc and upload them to SM.

And that's about as much interaction as they have with each other, as they go back to scrolling and completely ignoring one another 😳

Their SM friends must think they're having a blast though!

On an other upside I was just reading how under 18 conception rates have declined so much since 2007 🤣🤣🤣maybe it has its positives !