To think we're going to have a generation of adults unable to socialise?

[Ezlo]

By that I mean in restaurants. I see so many kids glued to their iPods in restaurants, barely uttering a word to the rest of their family. The future unsettles me.

I think there are way more people with social anxiety than there used to be. And way more flakers, as it is so easy to cancel on the phone.

I’ve found the opposite, I have ASD and I’ve found that pre phone I didn’t socialise and now I have much more communication with others via MN, Facebook, IG etc. it’s not typical socialising but it’s more than I did before so for some it is beneficial but I think as an adult obviously I’m able to modify usage and avoid harmful content. That’s the dangerous part for children and when damage can be done

I used to commute in London. Nobody spoke to anybody else on the bus. Or on the tube.

Personally I'm in favour of iPads etc in restaurants for children - I had to leave quite a few restaurants when my kids were under 5 as they got bored and had tantrums.

Family mealtimes or family eating out is shit for adults until the kids are st least 8.

We'll never have the ecstasy that we did in the 90's. So that isn't happening.

Can we not start chatting shite about everyone looking out for each other. I'm nearly 60, I can remember the backlash against the rise in DV laws and welfare benefits for single mums. Tony Blair's every child/disabled child policies had opposition. There was outrage over rape in marriage being made illegal. Bruises on women and children were ignored, underage girls considered fair game. White men were protected, especially if Christian.

We just need to support schools with sensible policies and actually parent/grandparent/be a decent Auntie etc, we are the community and all that's wrong re community mixing/looking out for each other, a lot of MNers are adding to that. Go to parkscin deprived areas and children still play.

I actually think the children I know today (largely under 5) spend vastly less time looking at screens than we did as children.

Everyone is so conscious and worried about technology, and has strict rules about what is and is not allowed.

Nobody is ignoring their child 24/7 for a phone.

I'll send you the link.

Babies in buggies staring at iPads
kids coming out of school to be greeted by a parent with their face in their phone, barely even says hello key alone hugs them…..

dread to think what the future will be like tbh !!!!

makes me feel sad

Before phones I remember when everyone would speak to each other on the bus regardless of whether they knew each other.

It's because of this that I will look at my phone or listen to music through headphones. I don't want random people talking to me on public transport I just want to be left alone.

Also parents at parks with toddlers just sitting on the Bench face in phone
sad

I hate this! I remember seeing parents plugged in, pushing prams when my child was a baby. It always seemed rude to me!

I think on the whole kids do more hobbies than they used to, though, so have a wider range of friends and acquaintances and get used to chatting with new kids.

You are right, OP.
However, this situation doesn't bother me at all, for many reasons.
No children of my own, no pension needed to state just two.
Very fortunate and "lucky", or maybe practical and foreseeing.
It's easier as a PP said to communicate with virtual people and for the flakers to cancel on
the phone.
I'm at the age when I think if the future implodes onto itself, I won't be able to change it a bit.
😐

I think my son's would get on well with yours!
My 20 year old wishes he was an 80's kid & my 14 year old wants to live on the moors off grid with his mates in a little community!😂

@Nothatgingerpirate you seem to come on every thread to say how you have made great life choices, no?

Parents like that would have ignored their children either way though, I've seen it myself where even if they're not on their phone they barely mutter hello to their child.

No one knows what is going on and what you see is a snapshot of that day.

I used to do alot with my dds when they were young, my husband worked long hours and it was just me doing the lions share of childcare. If we went to a park and they were playing, yes I sometimes sat on my phone to connect with people online as I otherwise might not have spoken to anyone other than my dd that day. And we often used to spend time watching films together which is still screentime. That still is something we all enjoy doing together now. So not all screens are bad.

My dds are now teens but if anyone sees us travelling to days out or home again you might think we only use screens and ignore each other. The truth is after being around people all day it can be exhausting and over stimulating so we each take our down time on screens/with headphones while travelling. Everyone is much happier that way

Considering the amount of people on here who won’t answer a phone or door, confirms it has already happened.

When I was a teenager my DM would threaten to cal the fire brigade because my head would be stuck in a book too long. DF would sit whilst DM watched tv and read n a world of his own. Now we have phones.

The only thing I find anoying is when parents are clearly not paying attention especially near busy roads.

I think society has just completely changed. My dd aged 21 rarely goes out. She has friends but they all talk to each other via social media, messaging etc. It’s rare that they actually make plans to see each other. They don’t really date, don’t even seem all that interested in relationships / sex etc. These are all academic people in their early twenties at university. You’d think they’d be out socialising / networking all the time. It’s just so different to when I was that age. Everything has moved online, dd has managed to do most of her university studies (Nottingham) online and hardly ever physically went anywhere. It’s so easy to just shut yourself off now. And that’s what everyone she knows seems to do. They’re not depressed about it, it’s just normal for them.

I agree, there was no such thing as screen time limits when I was young. However, we were also very limited with what we could watch with only 5 channels and no chance of instantly watching what we fancied. A lot more boredom and so kids would naturally meet up with friends, find other activities to do. Now parents have to be very intentional with screen time limits and as you say, many parents are very conscious about this and keep a firm boundary.

Ironically, it’s the previous generation who were a lot more social (because of lack of technology), that pass phones, iPads etc. to their kids. So it’s certainly not the next generations fault, it’s ours. I include tech firms, big advertisers etc. in that too who target this age range.

Parents who manage their child’s tech exposure are often in the minority, as are their children. Everything advances whether we want it to or not. My children are still quite young so far easier to manage, it’s the parents of pre-teens/teenagers that are really fighting that battle at the moment.

I didn't say I was dissatisfied or wanting for anything, did I?

Maintaining boundaries isn’t the same as not socialising.

My two kids go to restaurants quite regularly - sometimes they colour, sometimes we play games.
Yesterday they had both been, for want of a better word feral. Had we not already booked I'd never have taken them out. I was at the end of my tether, as was my husband (he was also having to put up with his incredibly short tempered 38 weeks pregnant wife, poor guy). They sat quietly and played on their tablets with headphones on while we hardly spoke to each other and definitely were on our phones for a good ten mins decompressing.
When the food came all electronics were away and we spoke to each other again like normal unzombified family who had an amazing night's sleep.
You don't know what people have been through before they go out. I felt guilty in the car on the way home, thinking about how people like you would have judged me (and I in a previous life would have judged too) and then I realised just how much I'd enjoyed sitting in blissful silence, sue me 😂

Well, quite.

I find threads like this amusing - they're full of grown adults who spend hours on the internet complaining about children spending hours on the internet 🤦‍♀️

Let's face it, there have always been shit parents who ignore their kids. Screens are just a quick and easy thing for other people to judge.

Maintaining boundaries isn’t the same as not socialising.

What's the difference?

If it's acceptable to ignore someone knocking on your door, why can't it also be acceptable to ignore someone talking to you in person?