To think we're going to have a generation of adults unable to socialise?

[Ezlo]

By that I mean in restaurants. I see so many kids glued to their iPods in restaurants, barely uttering a word to the rest of their family. The future unsettles me.

yes, but its more than that, its seeing children out with their parents walking along or the child in the buggy and the parent glued to their phone, not talking or interacting or just sharing the time in silence with the child

No connection whatsoever

My 16 year old son believes this. Thinks devices are to blame and he needs to reignite the nineties rave movement so they can all have a great time again - one rule, phones handed in at the start.

I hope he does it!

I agree. Or the baby in the pram holding the phone and watching something. I saw this the other day on the bus and the baby must've been no older than 18 months.

You only have to see how anti interacting with other people people on here are.

Oh definitely.

People are so rude with their tech in public anyway. Playing it so loud. Your son is right. Everyone looked out for each other back then. There were real communities.

I'm not so fussed by restaurants. Who knows if the famiky normally have lovely meals together but they prefer the children to be quiet in restaurants so they don't disturb other diners.

I am a bit concerned about buggies with phone holders.

But the biggest issue is parents glued to thier phone.

It's not just the kids, adults all do it too

True!

My bus commute is very anti social. Everyone is on their phones and sometimes they'revery noisy with it! Before phones I remember when everyone would speak to each other on the bus regardless of whether they knew each other. It still happens where I live amongst the old ladies. I always think how bloody weird the world we live in has become.

We already have a generation unable to socialise.

Phone and social media useage goes hand in hand with loneliness too…

You are seeing just a snapshot of their lives though. Children go to school - they will spend all day with their peers socialising. And their parents are probably interacting with them the other 99% of the time.

IMO iPads in restaurants are because the experience is boring for the child, and allowing them to do something they enjoy extends the amount of time the parents can spend there, particularly with small children!

I will on occasion let my toddler watch cartoons on my phone. We always have a bag of toys, we will do stickers, cars, magnatiles - the works. But if they’re getting bored and restless, letting them watch some cartoons might buy us 30 minutes.

I think technology is broadly an issue in allowing people to be socially isolated, particularly if they were already at risk of that / shy / anxious etc - but, I also think technology is part of modern life and its presence needn’t always be demonised / a source of angst.

To add: parents can win in public places. Kids on iPads? Bad. Kids make noise? Bad. Kids move around? Bad.

I've seen it plenty of times on the bus where a parent is on their phone and totally ignoring their baby/child. Being out and about is a perfect time to communicate with the kids about the world around them. It's sad.

He’s very wise, not sure where he gets it from.

I think there’s pluses and minuses, the elderly who aren’t digitally connected and can’t get out are incredibly isolated, it’d help them, but then the youngest in society are living wholly digitally. A bit of balance is required. I think there will be a backlash at some point.

I like the sound of this!

Your son sounds like a good kid! A younger teenager I know got a Walkman with a bundle of albums for Christmas and it was so cool to see him showing all his friends.

But for most children, it’s not a snapshot, they’re actually spending vast amounts of times on screens.

My teenager is incredibly sociable but my brother who is 20 barely mutters a word unless spoken to.

I think it’s still going to be dependant on the individual but we’re for sure building an isolated world.

DH sat in a pub garden last summer, there was a mum and dad both staring into their phones and a little girl about a year old sat in a high chair between them giggling and trying to get their attention,she was being no trouble just wanted attention from her parents, the mum automatically retrieved the iPad from her bag and plonked it in front of the child, the poor kid only wanted her parents attention, DH & I gave her more interaction than they did and we were making her giggle, she was so cute it was heart breaking to watch, I don’t think they as a couple said more than a couple of sentences to each other either. I know that was only a snippet into their family life but it was a beautiful day, gorgeous location and obviously a family day out.

I don't know, I remember growing up in the nineties and seeing plenty of couples sitting there in awkward silence, or families arguing, or kids playing up.

I also remember seeing a photo of a bus or train full of people and they were all staring at their own newspapers and totally ignoring each other.

I used to take a book everywhere with me as a kid and always had my nose in one at family events.

Technology is addictive but let's not pretend the world was some kind of perfect social hub before it came along.

You can’t see the reason the parent is actually on the phone though. I am self employed and can take DC out somewhere at times in the school holidays but still respond to some emails/do some admin while out and about.

I think it’s better than them entertaining themselves (which might involve screens!) while I am in another room working, so I try to juggle it a bit. But people have no idea what I am doing on my phone, where we are going, what the plans for the day are..

Technology has so many benefits but it has overtaken our lives. What I hate more than anything is that most of my kids homework is online, even the bloody reading. As a teacher I find that I am setting homework online, every lesson is online, I am bombarded with requests to do things online all day long and it's overwhelming. So easy now for people to send you an email and make their job your job.

Before phones I remember when everyone would speak to each other on the bus regardless of whether they knew each other

Where did you buy your rose tinted spectacles?

Yes I hate I pads in restaurants. Never use them for my kids. I have 3 young kids ( one with ADHD) so it would make life easier sometimes but I love sitting and chatting over a meal and I think the ability to do so is such an important skill. We bring card games to play if they get bored, or go somewhere with a playground so they can run around between courses.
I do get it for toddlers if parents want a quiet meal and I know everyone’s circumstance are different, but I feel like once you introduce the I pad in a restaurant setting, when do they learn to stop using it!

I see so many young families in restaurants with a phone or iPad propped up in front of small children. I’m so glad this wasn’t a thing 20 years ago and we managed just fine when we went out with very small kids.

Unless you are following them around all day, you have no idea what their interaction with their child is like.

When my child was very small, being out on the move with the pram was the only time they weren’t on me and screaming their head off. That’s absolutely when I might look at my phone - and many people use their phone for ordering shopping, paying bills, organising play dates, checking flights, talking to their granny’s carers - all life admin major or minor, they might be doing it through their phone.

Secondly… on ‘completely ignoring their child’. You have no idea what is going on at that moment. They may be trying to get them to sleep. The parent may have been up since 4am. The parent may be taking a break while the child is chill.

Every moment of every day, doesn’t need to involve ‘active parenting’.