Step son used my bath towel

[Green0911]

Want to gauge if IABU here.

My and my husband's towels are in the bathroom. Teenage SS keeps his in his room. We each have a hand towel and a bath towel. They all get changed every 3-4 days. When it came to changing them, I realised SS didn't have his towels in his room. He said he'd put them to be laundered a few days before. When I asked him which towels he'd been using in the meantime (he'd showered at least twice during this period), initially he claimed none, then admitted he'd used mine.

I blew a fuse. Couldn't believe he thought this was acceptable. Husband has laughed it off and is accusing me of being dramatic/blowing things out of proportion.

AIBU?

@Green0911 - I'm like you and can't stand sharing towels. I keep mine in my bedroom and if anyone uses it (can't escape my 2 DDs sometimes) then I immediately replace it with a fresh one.

I would say just try to move past this, your solution is a good one - just keep checking that the rules aren't broken in future.

If this is all you have to worry about, you are a very lucky woman.

Just get a clean one from the airing cupboard and move on with your life. Good Grief!

Ha ha - I’m not sure sharing a towel is a low standard.

im amazed at how some posters gleefully show disregard for the environment by doing unnecessary washing though. In fact I’d be much more worried if her DSS had been having multiple showers demanding fresh towels.

maybe people’s boundaries need challenging sometimes.

Ok, have fun talking about towels.

I wash my towel after 3-4 uses but I’d be most unimpressed with anyone else drying themself with my towel.
i feel it’s too wasteful to use a fresh towel after every shower, so everyone in my household has their own towel. All different colours/ patterns. Some live in the bathroom, others live in bedrooms.
No one uses any towel other than their own. It’s been like that since the dc were very young.
All towels washed around once to twice a week depending on the weather.

Exactly, at least this one washes 🤣

Talking about respect, if your teenager said please don’t wash towels/bedding/PJs after every single use as I don’t want this planet any more fucked than it is already, and we will be living on it longer than you, would you listen to them?

Just ffs! Poor kid

@crumblingschools

if they stuck to their own towels then yes. If they didn’t and used mine and then left it for me to use unknowingly, then no.

I mean I would definitely like to avoid leprosy but I'm more thinking about herpes, fungal infections, stomach bugs etc.

I've got a toddler who's frequently ill from nursery germs so I'm often looking things up on the nhs website and quite frequently it will say not to share towels. So not particularly far-fetched I don't think! Is it the word disease that's problematic? It's defined a 'illness or sickness characterised by specific signs or symptoms' so I think that's also appropriate here.

It amazes me how gleefully some people point out how low their own standards are. That's nothing to be proud of..

Sharing towels (that are washed regularly) with family members does not mean low standards.
It's just a different way of doing things.

Think of the planet!🙄usually comes from the same people that drive and take holidays abroad but of course my use of a washing machine is unacceptable

so right. this whole thread is a massive non issue

And have umpteen children.

Well, in the first place, teenagers don't get to set household policies and standards. They can request but not dictate.

And no, I would still require frequent towel changes and weekly bedding changes. If those textiles become laden with fungi and bacteria, it will affect the household.

They can save the planet by giving up their electronic devices and holidays, and by walking everywhere, if saving the planet is their top priority.

@BettyBardMacDonald

So she should just shut up and put up with grim, thoughtless, nasty behaviour, and SHE should figure out how to prevent it happening again? Rather than him learning decent manners, shaping up and supplying himself with a towel before entering the bathroom to shower? Instead of doing as he pleases and then lying about it.
How absurd. He's well old enough to manage a basic skill. Though with a father who laughs at a woman's boundaries and umbrage, I doubt this teen will grow up to be a considerate person who respects others.

Honestly this is so absurdly hysterical and melodramatic.

I'm a card-carrying feminist and will fight for the death for women's right to maintain boundaries but the fact that his teenage son borrowed his step-mum's towel does not mean the father "laughs at a woman's boundaries". Absolutely ridiculous.

People have different standards about this sort of thing. You may not like other people's standards, as is your right, but you can't force everyone to see the world like you do. And the idea that a bit of questionable hygiene by a teenager amounts to a conspiracy of misogyny is just completely nuts.

You are really going to come unstuck with teenagers if this is a hill you choose to die on.

Anger, obviously, but that can be expressed without raising one's voice.

Yeah of course it can 👌

Are you not able to express anger without shouting, then?

Ha ha - I have 3 boys and 4 bathrooms - all the towels in the house move around and then every few days all get washed and restocked! I tend to give a towel a quick smell check and if still smells fresh use that one! Would it bother you as much if he was your biological son?

I've never blown a fuse, have you??

it sounds out of control to me.

Google seems to lead towards bipolar, but you may know better? Doubtfully

Only on mumsnet do we come across these "problems". Have a word with yourself. This is nothing to blow a fuse over.

I think the reason OP was annoyed was because she had already used her towel to dry herself and only then found out her SS had used it the day before and it hadn't been washed, so it wasn't just a case of get a clean one. Would you be happy to wear your daughters dirty knickers ?

I don't care if the world has the same standards, but the people here scoffing and sneering at the OP, and doing their competitive mingingness to prove they aren't "snobby," is pathetic.

It's the dismissing of the OP's concern that is annoying. I don't care if the rest of you wipe down with the same old T-shirt you use to line the cat's bed. But her concern is valid, and she did say that her husband outright laughed at her instead of supporting her. And the boy is quite old enough to be considerate of others, especially in a shared bathroom.

Honestly, Onslo from the Hyacinth series is freaking Cary Grant compared to the way some people describe themselves here. Like it's a badge of honour to be dirty.

It’s also not a badge of honour to have to wash something as soon as it has been touched