Step son used my bath towel

[Green0911]

Want to gauge if IABU here.

My and my husband's towels are in the bathroom. Teenage SS keeps his in his room. We each have a hand towel and a bath towel. They all get changed every 3-4 days. When it came to changing them, I realised SS didn't have his towels in his room. He said he'd put them to be laundered a few days before. When I asked him which towels he'd been using in the meantime (he'd showered at least twice during this period), initially he claimed none, then admitted he'd used mine.

I blew a fuse. Couldn't believe he thought this was acceptable. Husband has laughed it off and is accusing me of being dramatic/blowing things out of proportion.

AIBU?

I would describe my bottom as one of my intimate areas @IJustCantDeal I think most people would.

No sorry I take exception here. Feeling uncomfortable is not the same as feeling violated. .

The use of catastrophic language to over make a point isn’t okay and truly demeans those who are actually violated or have real and justified reason to feel that way.

So you rub your bum hole on the toilet seat? The toilet seat barely touches your bum and the part it does touch is nowhere near where any bodily fluids may exit. Unless you’re suggesting he ignored his bum hole, penis and balls when using the towel.

Oh @IJustCantDeal I am not sure I want to continue speaking with you.

FFS cn you imagine how the children in Gaza have been living, IF they survived each day of the bombing? I can't even begin to care about this - just give your head a shake. If anyone still needs a wake up call, put the news on. We are lucky beyond our understanding to have what we have and life is too short not to realise that.
Yes you were totally wrong to blow a fuse. Next time, just count to 5 and be glad you have a home, a place to live with your family, full of fluffy towels.

Apart from drying your face on a hand towel, everything else you posted is irrelevant to my post. I didnt mention anywhere washing towels after each use, or even not sharing - but I wouldnt share with my step son, that doesnt mean I dont care about climate change

@mydogisthebest

sharing a towel versus climate change…ooh

I’m still not gonna share my towel…

…and that’s my prerogative !

@madeofmore

stop being dismissive and invalidating. You could say what you have said in response to about 98% of posts on mumsnet. It’s not relevant.

Given how step parent threads go on here, it's almost certain that that's the reason most people are saying OP is being unreasonable.

If a man posted that he didn't wash properly, didn't use deodorant and often left the shower with mud still on him and had been using his wife's towel then putting it back for her to use, he'd definitely be told he's unreasonable.

Anyway, YANBU OP. Why not secretly dry yourself with your DH's precious face towel and see if he thinks it's not big deal then.

THIS in abundance
Have a spare set of towels for anyone who needs to use

If he’d put his intimate areas on anything of hers other than her towel it’d be a different story. He disrespected her boundary. It’s not catastrophic language it’s the English language and just because you think that word should be used only in the context of sexual assault doesn’t mean it’s not the correct word to describe the feeling she had. I have been sexually assaulted and I can tell you I’d still feel violated if someone put a used sex toy in my hand or a sanitary towel or literally anything that’s touched their intimate areas without consent and I think most people would be but because it’s a towel you’re minimising it

Okay hun

What a nasty post (totally unnecessary)

If he is a grubby, soap dodging teen I'm surprised he used any towel let alone the OPs.

But if you had a family member who didn't wash properly, didn't use deodorant and left the shower with mud on them still, would you really be happy to share a towel with them?

When I was a teen, my brother's towels always stunk of BO (and worse) for the same reasons. I'd rather have waited to air dry than use those 🤮

Sharing with your own child is a bit different to sharing with a teenage stepson.

Love this. Some crazy 🤪 women on here. Copy and pasting about bacteria blah blah blah. Just chill out.

I wonder if some of the people saying OP is being unreasonable don’t realize that they have both been using the same towel at the same time. Not just that the SS took her towel.

I can’t understand why people think she shouldn’t be upset about this.

Some of the worst of MN on this thread, and I've been here a while. I can't understand it. Some of you have made this very ugly and very personal. Life really is too short.

This will really upset some of you. I just opened my tub of Lush conditioner and there was a short and curly in it

This has absolutely zero to do with the subject at hand. Spare us the virtue signaling.

These towel threads always get massively polarised. There's the "wash after one use" team and the "wash once a week and possibly share" team. Nobody is permitted to occupy any other camp and the WAOU people are accused of being irrational and uptight, whilst the WOAWAPS people are called dirty and revolting.
So much passion about something that does not affect anyone outside of their own private bathroom. It certainly puts Israel / Palestine into context .

Well said, @Poppinjay

It's about self-respect, too. I respect myself enough to maintain a pleasant, clean home and to provide myself with clean towels, clean bedding, clean kitchen linens, not grab up any manky rag that's handy.

It amazes me how gleefully some people point out how low their own standards are. That's nothing to be proud of.

You saying that they have both been using the same towel at the same time, had me imagining them passing the towel back and forth between them as they dried themselves. "To me" "To you" To me" "To you" like The Chuckle Brothers! 🤣