Step son used my bath towel

[Green0911]

Want to gauge if IABU here.

My and my husband's towels are in the bathroom. Teenage SS keeps his in his room. We each have a hand towel and a bath towel. They all get changed every 3-4 days. When it came to changing them, I realised SS didn't have his towels in his room. He said he'd put them to be laundered a few days before. When I asked him which towels he'd been using in the meantime (he'd showered at least twice during this period), initially he claimed none, then admitted he'd used mine.

I blew a fuse. Couldn't believe he thought this was acceptable. Husband has laughed it off and is accusing me of being dramatic/blowing things out of proportion.

AIBU?

Not my fight either, I was responding to OP blowing a fuse, and her DH laughing at her relevant in first post.

You disagreed with me? Your choice and as I’ve already said, I’ll stick my my view…. Thanks!

Obviously, that’s a given. 😂

Separate loo here and no hand basin when we got the place, have now fitted a small basin now though. Most inconvenient to wash hands if someone in the bath or shower in adjacent room which had the hand basin.

~When I first went on holiday abroad aged 4, I was told they were for washing your feet!

You said she should deal with her anger. It’s completely understandable that she was angry that was her boundary. If he’d rubbed his body on her instead of her towel nobody sane would feel that’s acceptable but it’s the same thing with extra steps. Whether he did it deliberately or not she’s justified in feeling violated

Yes imagine if a man blew a fuse because his dsd went upstairs with shoes on, I doubt we'd all argue til the cows come home about what bugs could have contaminated the house and how it is just not the done thing. No, we'd all say in unison why are you losing your rag over this crap? Get some anger management strategies. Same goes for when women lose it.

I'd probably roll my eyes and tell him it's gross. But sounds like you were very over dramatic.

You’re still alive and no mention of infections 😂therefore not such a big disaster as you make it out to be

jesus

Violated!

Call the police, get him arrested!

FFS, a teenager makes a mistake!

But she’s been……..violated!!!

@Nonaynevernomore

”hysterical”
why do you have so much internalised misogyny?

I’m just saying she’s allowed to feel angry. Why aren’t people allowed to feel what they feel? I didn’t say she was justified in blowing up at him and didn’t say she should call the police either (bit dramatic aren’t you?) all I actually said was to wash after use to ensure it doesn’t happen again given she felt strongly enough about him using her towel to react like that

I suppose to oppose your misandry?

I mean come on blew a fuse over a towel? And she’s still living and breathing? Amazing really.

i mean she should leave her DH, never see the DSS again, they’ve violated her!

It’s absolutely not the same thing. If he rubbed his body against her without her consent that would be a sexual assault. The scenario we are discussing is a teenager being characteristically thoughtless. Your attempt to give these two situations equal levels of seriousness is fundamentally wrong.

Someone who uses the term violated over a teenager using a towel, calls me dramatic ….. 🤣🤣🤣

No I don’t disagree that she shouldn’t have blown a fuse as I said in previous posts.

But I don’t think her DH laughing at her helped the situation especially when he is precious over his own face towel.

I would have washed the towel and asked SS not to use it again and put practical things in place to ensure it didn’t happen again.

My argument here is that presumably he is clean as he has showered. I know you say he has short showers, but I’m assuming if he had hygiene issues, he would smell, and you would have noticed and mentioned it. Or you would notice your own towel that he’s been using smelt too.

Huh?

Towels are just towels surely?

You are clean when you use them?

Unless someone's knowingly ill I wouldn't consider this as an issue.

Who put 50p in you? I didn’t say it’s assault but it may well feel like a violation of her personal boundaries. What are you struggling to understand? All this because I suggested washing after use. I think you’ve had a bad day and need to stop projecting on others

Wow @IJustCantDeal 😂

I would love for this to be the only thing to blow a fuse over in my life. Very odd and irrational getting so het up, I couldn’t be dealing with it. What were you expecting him to do - walk around naked until dry? Unless he left them on the floor wet and covered in s* marks from wiping then YAB massively U 🤨 They can easily just be washed if you are that concerned. And next time - ensure there are towels available and he knows where they are. So much drama - I don’t get it?!

Failed to comply with her boundary of not using her towel. Therefore it’s perfectly reasonable for her to feel violated. Just because you consider the word to be sexual assault related doesn’t mean it is.

Ok then 🙄

Some may say it was a mistake, not him violating her….

But there we are!

They should each use their own personal towel, that’s the issue