He says 'most women would just laugh', I think he's delusional. Settle a debate please

[TheFairSheep]

Hi all. I paid for my boyfriend to get a tattoo yesterday as a gift as he has wanted one for a while. I saw these messages earlier of a conversation he had with a friend whilst getting the tattoo. I was (I believe) rightfully disgusted and annoyed. He says it was just banter and 'lads being lads'. He apologised but added that most women in relationships would just laugh if they saw those messages and maybe be a little annoyed but I'm overreacting.

We live together and I am pregnant. Am I being unreasonable here? (His friend asked who was doing his tattoo, he sent the screenshot. I have blanked out her details for privacy).

That’s so vile.

well this woman would not be with someone barely literate, with even less literate friends in the first place. Is he about 13?

The mate is vile (and illiterate) and he is not challenging it.

No, I wouldn't laugh.

He's revealed himself to be a prick, who likes dickhead jokes.

No, it's not ok, unless you're into dickheads?

The subliterate writing would be a ‘no, ugh’ from me, even leaving aside the repellent, knuckle-dragging sentiments.

😬😳🙄

Grim and thick. Not my bag.

Absolutely Gross.

The pair of them are also borderline illiterate as a bonus turn off.

Saw these messages? You mean you snooped on his phone?

Not sure I totally understand, but I think a bigger issue is the friend asking if he is still with you?? Implying your boyfriend has been suggesting it’s not a serious relationship or he might be leaving??

I think that's really disrespectful tbh and it would make me question his loyalty and intentions around other woman. I don't care if it's "lad chat" or whatever. You're pregnant with his child and deserve to be treated with some dignity. He's basically saying he would cheat cause you're not around.

Your OH is an illiterate arsehole. You know this isn’t acceptable.

If you were joking about giving/receiving oral sex to/from someone else, would he find it amusing? Ask him.

Fucking hell

No woman with any self respect would laugh at that

Oh dear - what a shame you have chosen this absolute twat as the father of your child 🙄 why are you paying for his tattoo 'as a gift'? You have a baby on the way, I'd be saving my money for that and let him pay for his own tatoos. Good luck if you choose to continue the relationship - you're going to need it!

If it was more grammatically legible I'd know if it was offensive or not, are they 16?

What is there to be disgusted about? I’ve had similar texts between myself and friends about a fit bloke at times. It’s discreet.

So you’ve never had a good look, sent messages and had a giggle over a fit server? Or guy at the gym? Or a poolside on a girls holiday?

It's probably just stupid banter but there's something very immature, basic and weak about men who talk like that.
He has a partner who is pregnant with his child and all he can say is she's not here tho like one weakling trying to show he's all man.

I’m guessing his phone just fell open on messenger by mistake as you walked past .

That's disgusting and I would never laugh at something like that

My feelings too. This would seriously affect the trust I place in him. I'm a firm believer in that men do what they want to do. If they want to treat you with respect then they'll do so. It would really make me question how he acts when you're not around and to be honest his "boys will be boys " trope sounds gaslighty to me. He's either genuinely thick or he never expected you to see those messages and now he's saying what he needs to, to cover himself.

🙄

So his mate is saying he might get a blowjob. And he's replying that he would indeed like one?

The grammar on the messages makes it hard to see what's even being said?!

sorry my GIF is aimed at @Curtainqueen

I would be extremely concerned that someone was asking if he's still with you, especially considering you're pregnant. What on earth makes the friend think you might have separated?

Put it this way. Think about a couple you know. People you're close to, who have been together long enough to be having a child together. Can you imagine yourself asking one of them 'are you still with your OH?'

No. It's a weird thing to ask.

She's desperate and illiterate

Bloody hell, OP, who the hell are you seeing?