He says 'most women would just laugh', I think he's delusional. Settle a debate please

[TheFairSheep]

Hi all. I paid for my boyfriend to get a tattoo yesterday as a gift as he has wanted one for a while. I saw these messages earlier of a conversation he had with a friend whilst getting the tattoo. I was (I believe) rightfully disgusted and annoyed. He says it was just banter and 'lads being lads'. He apologised but added that most women in relationships would just laugh if they saw those messages and maybe be a little annoyed but I'm overreacting.

We live together and I am pregnant. Am I being unreasonable here? (His friend asked who was doing his tattoo, he sent the screenshot. I have blanked out her details for privacy).

Your standards are too confining and constricting for me. I’m the one who does similar, so I would need more respect for men to meet your standard. I’m not sorry I don’t meet your standard.

When single and online dating, I blocked men who thought alot was a word.

@TheFairSheep I understand that the messages are vulgar, but it's not as if anything ever would have happened. Do you really think random women just give a "blowy" to any man who they come across?

@MferMonsterSearchingForRedemption : Ahh a man.

Yep.

I am.

A man that is. Why are you talking like this?

@MferMonsterSearchingForRedemption : You do not talk for most men.

No, and I don't claim to, but I do have a view as to how people do or should behave, and the reasons why they don't, and I am happy to share that in response to questions from Mumsnetters like OP.

I don't use online dating, but I wish I was oh so attractive and beautiful like you, with so many prospective partners, that I could easily afford to block people over something as trivial as a minor spelling mistake.

As opposed to the illiterate knucklehead who unfortunately has impregnated her?

The age 13 has been mentioned. That's insulting to many 13 year olds.

This isn’t a standards issue, it’s a low self esteem and insecurity issue.
If you feel threatened by such banter, that’s a you problem.

I wouldn’t be with a man who was disgusted by my having a bit of a drool over a piece of man candy by private text with a friend and would be so controlling as to try and censure me by calling it “disrespectful.”

Thanks for the replies. I did ask him if he would laugh it off if it was the other way round - apparently its different because I'm a woman, lads banter like that and 'you'd be doing the sucking'. Lovely.

Cool story bro. You're in the minority on this one.

This x 100

Wow

I'm really sorry OP, he's being absolutely vile

Is this how he normally is?

You said most men are little boys- so you are talking for most men. You also apologised on their behalf.

I'm sure OP will find it most reassuring that little boys do this to act like big men.

Just what I thought but what else can realistically be expected from a chap who wants a tattoo and has a partner willing to buy one for him - for his birthday? It is just too tacky and chavvy for words.

Op, why on earth are you pregnant with this person?

That's ok. I am sure we will both live with that.

I can't even make out what they're saying, to be honest.

It wasn't his birthday and personally I have no issue with tattoos.

Oh so he doesn't know about cunnilingus?!

Um, he and his friend appear semi-literate so I wouldn’t hold them to high standards of intelligence or integrity.

SummerFeverVenice

You can save the effort of replying to any more of my posts. I'm not reading any of yours.

No, it’s actually a ‘you’ issue if you accept this kind of behaviour as normal, it really isn’t

You mean ‘sister’ although I’m no nun!
I realise I’m in the minority opinion of female posters on this thread.
I don’t think MN is representative of larger society, as it does strike me as having conservative values.

I find the banter neither funny or disgusting. It’s nothing to remark upon. I certainly will never be in favour of going through my partners phone to audit and critique how they privately communicate with their friends. I wouldn’t accept my husband doing that to me.

Nice try.

I don't think anyone here has said its ok to go through their partner's phone to audit their messages?

I don't need to.

So on top of having friends with the IQ of a worm he's quite a misogynist too, he sounds like a jewel.