He says 'most women would just laugh', I think he's delusional. Settle a debate please

[TheFairSheep]

Hi all. I paid for my boyfriend to get a tattoo yesterday as a gift as he has wanted one for a while. I saw these messages earlier of a conversation he had with a friend whilst getting the tattoo. I was (I believe) rightfully disgusted and annoyed. He says it was just banter and 'lads being lads'. He apologised but added that most women in relationships would just laugh if they saw those messages and maybe be a little annoyed but I'm overreacting.

We live together and I am pregnant. Am I being unreasonable here? (His friend asked who was doing his tattoo, he sent the screenshot. I have blanked out her details for privacy).

Grim. It's probably just lads banter, with no meaning behind it at all. But I'd be pissed off too - it's just insanely disrespectful. Also, why does his friend not know that you two are together, particularly given you're expecting? That actually concerns me more, in a way. I'd also be put off by their SP&G, but that's just me. Sorry you've had to see this, OP. He's not a keeper.

So it's the tattoo artist meant to be delivering the fellatio? Pretty disrespectful to her, never mind you.

That last bit (‘she’s not here tho’) is not banter in any way, that is straight up intent to cheat if he can con some woman into shagging him.

Yes, this ^^

The conversation topic is not nice, but the way it's written is worse. I'm Irish and "ya bird" sounds like someone from elsewhere parodying the British accent in a deeply unflattering way.

I disagree. The 'I know you well' suggests he's an absolute creep who either gets a blow job wherever he can find it or likes a 'happy ending'. Why would you say that otherwise? Don't be naive OP.

They sound like a pair of horny teenagers. Shame JK’s not on TV anymore or he could have sorted this out for you.

Agree with others that his friend not knowing whether you’re still on the scene is concerning. Is it a close friend he speaks to often?

He's an asshole and an idiot. Disrespectful of you and the artist working on him.

I don’t even know what to say. I’m barely surprised anymore at the utter shit men do.

Ah that's true - I didn't pay proper attention to that. You're absolutely right - it certainly suggests that he's got a history for being a creep - maybe even cheat.

No.

It's not banter because it's not witty or clever or funny, just because they added laugh emojis. Discussing getting a blowjob from a women is not just insulting to her but also to you, and it's so immature. What a great dad and role model he will be - raising the next generation of men who see women as just holes, raising women who think sex is the only way to have men like you.

It's extremely disrespectful to women in general too. I know a number of tattoo artists, all incredibly professional and all have families. I have zero doubt that they would have kicked him straight out and shared his name with other tattoo artists should they have seen the message.

The poor tattoo artist. She should not have to put up with that in her workplace.

He's utterly vile. He has no respect for you, the tattoo artist or women in general. Lads banter, fuck that. I'd be rethinking the relationship

Really, if you saw a hot guy you'd text your friends that you'd love to suck his dick, and maybe you will since your husbands not around?

We live together and I am pregnant.

^ His friend has just asked if you are still together. That implies your bf is giving off vibes to others that your relationship is not a serious one. That is worrying considering you are in a vulnerable position with being pregnant and unmarried.

You have found yourself a prince OP.

Ooooooh I thought the hypothetical blow job was from op.

Well, in that case, he isn't just an idiot who speaks like a poorly educated 14yo, but is also a total creep.

God op, get rid ASAP 🤮

No, because I’m happily married and genuinely not interested in anyone else.
It’s incredibly disrespectful and just objectifies someone which is never ok.

I'd say that yabu in principle, that's how lads banter

But its weird that the friend doesn't know that You're still together and pregnant - they can't be that close if he's asking that

For that reason I'd be weirded out, and want him to double down on the 'nah'

Yuck

Lads being lads?

Cunts being cunts more like.

Do you really want to spend your life with someone who speaks like this behind your back?

Gross.

Roles reversed:

Your mate: You'd definitely suck his dick
You: I wish
Your mate: You would I know you well
You: Maybe after the tattoo is done
Your mate: You still with your boyfriend?
You: Yeah but he isn't here

He'd find that funny would he? Laugh it off?

Doubt it.

He's exactly the time to do nothing of the sort and instead call you a slag or something equally misogynistic.

Do yourself the favour of not spending the rest of your life with an idiot.

Yep send him this hypothetical text exchange and see if he’d like it.

It's how immature twats banter. None of the men in my life would talk like this.

I don't understand how someone like you, who is literate, has ended up with someone like him. That is leaving aside his vileness. I genuinely can't understand half of that, he is sub literate and his friend is even worse.